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What to do about gifts/registries and bridal shower?

Hansen621Hansen621 member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
I am not looking to have a bridal shower for multiple reasons but I am unsure on how to tell my sister (and everyone else) that is asking and planning. First off, my fiancee and I have lived together for two years already, and are not wanting to register simply for more "stuff", if I'll put it that way. When it comes to our family being together, you can tell they are just putting on nice faces for our sake.
I just don't want to have a bad experience between families or also add more things that we are not wanting.
I know bridal showers are almost a given when it comes to having a wedding, but are there other options? Or any way to talk with my family and his about having it differently or not at all?

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Re: What to do about gifts/registries and bridal shower?

  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited January 2010
    You don't have to have a shower, and the rules are lax as to who throws it. Anyone can throw it, as long as its not the bride or groom.  Back in the day, when parents still paid for weddings, it was given the side-eye if a parent threw the shower. If you really don't want one at all, and the wedding is enough family togetherness for you, just tell your sisters you don't want one. Not everyone likes crowd situations, or being the center of attention while you open gifts ( I shudder at the thought), so you really don't have to have one. If people want to give you a gift, they will send it to you or bring it to the wedding.

    If they insist, tell them you would rather a co-ed party like what PP suggested. Ive been to a couple of those and they are fun!.. and there is no registry at any liquor store I know!

    I would make a small registry, though, of some sheet or towel upgrades, or tools. Some people prefer to give gifts rather than cash, so a small registry would give them some idea of what you could use and what your style is, so you don't end up with 10 ugly chili pepper lamps, but would also send the subconscious message that you don't need much.
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  • Brie2010Brie2010 member
    5000 Comments
    Simply state, "That's so kind of you to want to host, but we are only going to have a very small registry and don't want or need very much more stuff for our house."  Decline ALL showers.

    Then create a small registry of upgrades (See the "Don't know what to register for?" post above) for people who will insist on boxed gifts.

    If the real issue is your families, and you do create a regular-sized registry, you could have separate showers for each side of the family if someone on both sides offers to host.
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  • Hansen621Hansen621 member
    First Comment
    I like the idea of having a theme party, it sounds like a good idea. Thank you all for your help!
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  • Pirata13Pirata13
    2500 Comments
    I'm not big on showers either, but know that my mom, aunt & BMs want to have one.  So I put my foot down as to 20 people or less, not the usual 40 person shower that is common in my family.  My mom was a little taken aback at first but understood.  We are doing a tea party with the moms, grannies, a couple aunts and my girlfriends, and that is it. Then my girls & I will go have some wine at my place and go to dinner for my bachelorette dinner that night.  Make a day of it. 
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