Invitations - Widowed mom and divorced dad with their new spouses hosting?

shannonalise · November 2009

Good morning!

My mom and stepfather as well as FI's dad and stepmother are contributing to our wedding. My mom and I are trying to figure out how to word our invitations. FI's father and stepmother are hosting the wedding at their bed & breakfast and providing free rooms to the wedding party. They're also contributing the alcohol since FFIL works with a company that distributes it and he's getting it almost free. Our instincts say that we should word our invitations so that both of our families are the hosts. Is there a way to word it so that it's not too long and cumbersome? Here's what we had first:

Mr. and Mrs. (my mom and stepfather)
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
(my name)
to
(FI's name)
son of Mr. and Mrs. (FI's dad and stepmom)
and
(FI's mom)
on Saturday... blah blah

We're just trying to figure out how to present FI's dad and stepmother as hosts with my family. FI's mom is not really in the picture, but she'll be at the wedding. Should we include something about her on the invite too? We're not sure.

There are so many names to think about. Thank you so much for any help you can provide!

julezlee · November 2009

You could always go the "Together with their parents/families Shannon and Shannon's FI..." route.

I have no idea how to deal with that many names so that's the solution I always go for.

suedoe · November 2009

Yeah, thats a lot of names, I would go with what Julezlee said.

shannonalise · November 2009

Here's another reason this is complicated: my father is deceased, so my mom thinks it might be a good idea to list my last name to honor him. We're trying to think of a way to word the invites without saying that I'm the "child" or "daughter" of my stepfather, and the same for FI. It's got to be from the perspective of my mom and stepfather as well as FI's dad and stepmother hosting.

Oi.....

Moneypenny424 · November 2009

The way you have it here, it sounds like your mom and stepdad are hosting and no one else. This is tricky though with so many names.

I'd either do what Julez said or do this:

Mr. and Mrs. (mom and stepdad) &
Mr. and Mrs. (FI's dad and stepmom)
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Shannonelise
to
FI

shannonalise · November 2009

Yeah, money, it seems like my mom and stepdad are hosting and not his parents, because we just decided that we should probably word it so that it's clear that both are hosting. So the wording above was our original.

It is tricky, but I don't want to say "their children" since it's not a nuclear family situation. My mom was widowed by my dad and FI's parents are divorced. His dad and stepmother are hosting, so we're not sure how to wrangle this situation.

Moneypenny424 · November 2009

Hmmm...it might get a little cumbersome to add this too, but I guess you could also say:

Mr. and Mrs. (mom and stepdad) &
Mr. and Mrs. (FI's dad and stepmom)
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Shannonelise
daughter of the late Mr. (your dad)
to
FI

This takes out the "children" part too. Or you could do this (and eliminate the "daughter" line) and use both of your last names?

Moneypenny424 · November 2009

Sorry! I missed that what you wrote was your first thought, I thought it was what you were currently thinking

.

shannonalise · November 2009

That's ok, Money! I figured that's what you thought. No worries!

Mom wants to know if we need to include FI's mom on the invites. Does etiquette dictate that we do?

Thanks so much for all of the advice, ladies! I'll take everything into consideration and talk to my mom about it more.

Kristin789 · November 2009

What you suggested in your Original Post is perfect.

And since your last name is different from your stepfather's last name, you DO need to list your whole name so people connect who YOU are - not just to honor your late father.

Invitations - Widowed mom and divorced dad with their new spouses hosting?

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