last name

vegetara · March 2010

Are you keeping your maiden name, taking his name, or doing a hyphenated name? Why did you choose that option?

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

I kept mine. I didn't feel like changing and didn't see any point to it.

KellieGaspard · March 2010

I took my husband's last name. Otherwise, what's the point of the whole 'two becoming one' ideology? It just makes us feel closer and more like husband and wife.

lisarose7 · March 2010

I'm hyphenating because I want us to have the same name, but he doesn't want our kids to have his last name. It's his father's name and his father took off when he was an infant, so he doesn't see the point in passing it on. This way he and I get to have the name connection, but we can give the kids my maiden name and I'll have the name connection with them as well.

~mRm~ · March 2010

Kept mine.

CA2MT4EveR · March 2010

Taking his. Though my last name is not entirely uncommon, people can't say it and spell it wrong all the time. His is very common with basically one spelling. Plus, I want to be known as his name. I think it is an honor

debdebdol · March 2010

I'm taking his only if he changes it. He has his mother's last name and has been wanting to change it to his late father's last name for years now. I told him that I will only change my last name to his if he finally changes it. I think he needs a push to do it. I also considered hyphenating it, that is still not totally out, I may end up doing it.

megk8oz · March 2010

I took his. My maiden name was my bio-dad's last name, and he's been a very minimal part of my life since I was 2. I feel no real connection to him, and therefore, no connection to his name.

Cass987 · March 2010

Hyphn - Because I want to share his last name but I dont want to be the same last name as his ex-wife who kept his name. I don't want to be the 2nd "Mrs. Hislastname". That and I've been in my career for 10 years and am known and established now so changing it might be difficult. I figure I can change it to "Mrs. Mylastname-Hislastname" and that way I can go by "Mrs. Mylastname" for work and "Mrs. Hislastname socially" and still not be legally 2nd Mrs. Hislastname.

(Yes, I know, it's her right to keep it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it!)

Mai Lan · March 2010

I am going to take on his last name. It's going to be so messy, because I have been known professionally by my maiden name for over 10 years, but this is important, and I feel that it is worth the effort.

Jenni83 · March 2010

i took his, when we have kids i want to have a family name.

AdeleDazeem · March 2010

I'm not really in the boat of "two people become one" attitude towards marriage. I am a separate person, he's a separate person, but we are going to work together in this fun little game of life.

Anyway, I feel strongly that my parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life. Soo... maiden name it is!

JMN2010 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:0dc3b59d-cfbe-4188-9b92-20521f16277b">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not really in the boat of "two people become one" attitude towards marriage. I am a separate person, he's a separate person, but we are going to work together in this fun little game of life. Anyway, I feel strongly that my parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life. Soo... maiden name it is!
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This.

impslave · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:0dc3b59d-cfbe-4188-9b92-20521f16277b">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not really in the boat of "two people become one" attitude towards marriage. I am a separate person, he's a separate person, but we are going to work together in this fun little game of life. Anyway, I feel strongly that my parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life. Soo... maiden name it is!
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Ditto Joy. Couldn't have said it better myself.

lyndausvi · March 2010

2 last names not hyphenated.

Honestly if I had to do it again I would pick one or the other. 2 last name thing as become a real PITA for me. Some companies are not set up for 2 last names without a hyphen.. Even with a hyphen they pick one or the other.

If I was able to change my maiden name to my middle name I would have done that (not allowed here without a court order). I actually like my husband's name. I find the longer I'm married the more I just call myself by his last name unless it for something legal.

Pirata13 · March 2010

I am making my maiden name my middle name and taking his last. Ours doesn't go well hyphenated, and I do a lot of theatre so for some things I will use the full Pirata MyLast HisLast.

BrendaAndEric · March 2010

I want to keep mine. Haven't actually discussed it with him yet but he knows how I feel about that kind of thing from a feminist-ish perspective. It's also less of a pain to keep it, what with all the paperwork that has to be done to change it.

futuremrsrichardhall · March 2010

I'm taking his name. But I'm not particularly fond of my current last name and no one else in my family still has the same last name..

kaynix21 · March 2010

I plan on taking his. My last name is long, no one can pronounce or spell it. His is easy, three whole letters. But....I'm me. You know? There's only one of me. You look up my first and last on facebook, you get four options due to my last name. Me, my mom and my two cousins. You look up my name with Fis last, and there are ton of hits.....so I'm an original now. So I'm a little bummed.

jenn.daniel · March 2010

I'm taking his. No reason other than being traditional.

sassyredd2010 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:f516cd53-99b7-4eb6-b860-c5d94bb23f7e">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I took my husband's last name. Otherwise, what's the point of the whole 'two becoming one' ideology? It just makes us feel closer and more like husband and wife.
Posted by KellieGaspard[/QUOTE]

i totally agree!! i am taking my FI's last name as well

sassyredd2010 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:f516cd53-99b7-4eb6-b860-c5d94bb23f7e">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I took my husband's last name. Otherwise, what's the point of the whole 'two becoming one' ideology? It just makes us feel closer and more like husband and wife.
Posted by KellieGaspard[/QUOTE]

sassyredd2010 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:020ef322-8b7b-4be0-856b-45b12ceee464">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]Hyphn - Because I want to share his last name but I dont want to be the same last name as his ex-wife who kept his name. I don't want to be the 2nd "Mrs. Hislastname". That and I've been in my career for 10 years and am known and established now so changing it might be difficult. I figure I can change it to "Mrs. Mylastname-Hislastname" and that way I can go by "Mrs. Mylastname" for work and "Mrs. Hislastname socially" and still not be legally 2nd Mrs. Hislastname. (Yes, I know, it's her right to keep it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it!)
Posted by Cass987[/QUOTE]

ugh, i am going through the same thing. i hate the fact that his ex kept his last name, but she hyphnated it so i guess its not that bad, i am still going to take his name though

sassyredd2010 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:ffdb68df-2b98-413f-acf7-a97a7d945a92">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a complete traditionalist and wouldn't do anything but take his name. It may be old fashioned (based on some of the responses on here), but I think it's honoring him as my husband and us as family.
Posted by lizstill13[/QUOTE]

yes, those are my thoughts exactly

Ishaba11 · March 2010

I will be taking his. Our names are too long to have two last names or even hyphenate and although I love my last name I cant imagine not being Mrs. hislastname. I will always be proud of my family name but that's something my grandmother taught me that even though you may have a different last name you'll always be a whatever your last name is. I suppose if I was older (I'm 25), had a well established career I might feel differently, or maybe even had children I would feel differently.

SuMmErKuTiE · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:f516cd53-99b7-4eb6-b860-c5d94bb23f7e">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]I took my husband's last name. Otherwise, what's the point of the whole 'two becoming one' ideology? It just makes us feel closer and more like husband and wife.
Posted by KellieGaspard[/QUOTE]

Ditto this! I'm taking his name because I want us to be associated as a social unit, plus when we have kids I want us all to have the same family name.

JFH2010 · March 2010

So in the "Two become one" ideology, was there any discussion of him taking your last name? I would love to see tradition evolve so that it could go either way. I can't think of a practical reason why the "family unit" should automatically have the groom's name.

jenn.daniel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:197587c5-f325-4dfa-bef3-47f60fff8eee">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]So in the "Two become one" ideology, was there any discussion of him taking your last name? I would love to see tradition evolve so that it could go either way. I can't think of a practical reason why the "family unit" should automatically have the groom's name.
Posted by JFH2010[/QUOTE]

FI is the 5th man in his family with his full name, so he doesn't want to change it, which I completely understand.

AdeleDazeem · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:902a5c5a-9a43-45bf-ac81-2c9af5de916aPost:197587c5-f325-4dfa-bef3-47f60fff8eee">Re: last name</a>:
[QUOTE]So in the "Two become one" ideology, was there any discussion of him taking your last name? I would love to see tradition evolve so that it could go either way. I can't think of a practical reason why the "family unit" should automatically have the groom's name.
Posted by JFH2010[/QUOTE]

I suggested our children having my last name as my father has no sons and my fiance has two brothers. That was met with a big fat brick wall. I understand, of course. Some traditions are deeper than others. And, I've heard that legally it's harder for a man to change his name than a woman. Several different changes would need to happen for this to become a serious option.

And, for everyone saying the family unit should have the same name, I will socially be my husband's last name. I have zero problem with people calling me that. But, walking in somewhere and legally removing my maiden name makes me deeply uncomfortable. My parents gave me that name and I am an extension of them as well. My previous life doesn't cease to be just because I got married.

lisam1217 · March 2010

While I don't see anything wrong with keeping one's maiden name, that is totally not even a consideration for me. I am going to take his name and wear it proudly!

ceilidhsaunders · March 2010

I'm taking his last name! I've been waiting so long to have it! I'm super excited!

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