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June 2012 Weddings
Made it home safe! (Long sorry)
Hey everybody, \I'm back! I had the most excellent time in ON! I got home last night, and managed to avoid the snow(!) in ON but flew straight into a thunderstorm right before landing in Halifax. FI surprised me at the airport, he had told me he was staying home to cook, but he actually came in with my friend.
R is HUGE! Puberty is attacking him already lol. He proudly showed me his new deoderant and I had to have a talk with him about washing his face properly now. It was a perfect weekend in terms of his behaviour. He has made leaps and bounds with his ODD.and his verbal tic from his Tourette's is gone!
But the best news is....it is officially in the planning stages to move R here to NS to a treatment center near me! His social worker and iI had a very long discussion about it and I have some homework to do. She also asked when the wedding was and said if he wasn't living here by then, then she will look into flying him out as opposed to me coming to ON for a visit! When I told my favorite worker on his staff, she said she was volunteering to supervise him for the trip. She and I had a meeting and she gave me a pep talk and said everyone on his staff said the visit was going great and they were only going to have positive things to say about my interaction with him and how I worked with the staff to maintain his consistency through the visit. (Routine is very important to R . I guess some of the other parents don't cooperate with staff, try to change rules, act like they are in charge, etc.).
The only bad thig about the weekend was that my dad told me in his not so gentle way is that his cancer is not responding to treatment and to get his affairs in order. My step-mom says she thinks he's just given up and she thinks he's ready to just fade away. And I had a fight with my mom the last night I was there, but that was sort of a good thing because iI got a LOT of stuff off my chest. She had started to get under my skin the minute I walked through the door practically, but we made up before I left.
So all in all, it was a fantastic vacation
R is HUGE! Puberty is attacking him already lol. He proudly showed me his new deoderant and I had to have a talk with him about washing his face properly now. It was a perfect weekend in terms of his behaviour. He has made leaps and bounds with his ODD.and his verbal tic from his Tourette's is gone!
But the best news is....it is officially in the planning stages to move R here to NS to a treatment center near me! His social worker and iI had a very long discussion about it and I have some homework to do. She also asked when the wedding was and said if he wasn't living here by then, then she will look into flying him out as opposed to me coming to ON for a visit! When I told my favorite worker on his staff, she said she was volunteering to supervise him for the trip. She and I had a meeting and she gave me a pep talk and said everyone on his staff said the visit was going great and they were only going to have positive things to say about my interaction with him and how I worked with the staff to maintain his consistency through the visit. (Routine is very important to R . I guess some of the other parents don't cooperate with staff, try to change rules, act like they are in charge, etc.).
The only bad thig about the weekend was that my dad told me in his not so gentle way is that his cancer is not responding to treatment and to get his affairs in order. My step-mom says she thinks he's just given up and she thinks he's ready to just fade away. And I had a fight with my mom the last night I was there, but that was sort of a good thing because iI got a LOT of stuff off my chest. She had started to get under my skin the minute I walked through the door practically, but we made up before I left.
So all in all, it was a fantastic vacation
June 2012 Sig Challnege July: Ceremony Location
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Made it home safe! (Long sorry)
Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld
I'm sorry to hear about your father, but I'm glad you got to have that discussion with him face-to-face. And I understand about needing to get things off your chest with your mother...I've got a few myself, but I'd rather she didn't boycott my wedding, so I'll wait.
Seriously though, that really is incredible about R. I look forward to more updates, I hope he keeps making great progress, and that the move to NS comes quickly and goes smoothly!
That is so exciting about R! With your wonderful support I'm sure he will continue to improve even more!
On the other hand, I am sorry to hear about your father and his cancer. It is nice though that you got to see him and not hear this news over the phone. I will keep him, you, and your family in my thoughts and prayers for this situation.
Keep us posted.
My Adventure to the Aisle: A Planning Bio
I'm sorry about your father but I'm glad you had the conversation in person. Please keep us posted on him as well.
June 2012 December Siggy Challenge: Favorite Things about Christmas
Planning Bio Updated 10/24/2011
I'm sorry to hear about your father's cancer. Its always so difficult when this happens to someone close to you. I'll be keeping your family in my T&P.
as with PPs, i'm sorry to hear about your father's health, T&P with you and your entire family. and so glad you were able to be honest with your mom and leave on good terms. thanks for the update!
At the same time, I'll be keeping your father in my T&P through this difficult time.
But since we've never been close, I think I am more upset that I will never get the opportunity to build a stronger bond, than I am that he will be gone. And I know that I can never come clean with how I feel because really, how do you tell someone who's dying that you think he was a crappy father and nothing was ever good enough for his approval, and you think he's a douche when it comes to women.
But I am very psyched about R, and will keep everyone posted when I hear anything
[QUOTE]But since we've never been close, I think I am more upset that I will never get the opportunity to build a stronger bond, than I am that he will be gone. And I know that I can never come clean with how I feel because really, <strong>how do you tell someone who's dying that you think he was a crappy father and nothing was ever good enough for his approval, and you think he's a douche when it comes to women</strong>.
Posted by maritimebride2012[/QUOTE]
You write a letter.
My mother did this with her father. He was abusive in every way possible, and just generally a despicable human being. She cut him out of her life when I was a kid, and had no communication with him until she found out he'd passed away. I have no idea what she wrote in her letter, or even if she shared it with anyone. She contemplated putting it in his casket, but I don't know if it did happen. Either way, she said it was a great relief to get everything off her chest, and she gained a lot of insight into her own issues from her relationship with him.