addressing invitations

arunkumar · February 2012

I understand that the woman's name comes before the man's name when they are a couple but do not have the same last name. What about when the man is a friend or family member of the bride or groom and the woman is his guest?

For instance, if John Smith is my friend and Jane Doe is his girlfriend, and they live at the same residence, which option should I use to address their invitation?

Option 1: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe

Option 2: Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

casyme · February 2012

Here's another opinion: I'm not following the woman-first convention, because I see no point in it. It's not *etiquette*, it's *tradition,* and you can take or leave traditions as you see fit, like not wearing a garter or having pie instead of cake. So when I addressed my save-the-dates and had the situation that you describe, I put the person that I have the original relationship with first, and their partner second, because that seemed most natural, and it's the way I would refer to them if speaking about them. ("My college friend John and his girlfriend Jane.") So in your case, it would be Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe.

arunkumar · February 2012

Thanks. Casyme I was thinking the same thing. I want to put the guest second regardless of their gender. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a major no-no.

lulu4150 · February 2012

i agree w/ Casyme. If I were invited to a wedding that only I knew the person I would think my name would come first because I'm the one you have a relationship with.

I also wouldn't care if my name was on the same line as my fiance. What's the big deal that we're on the same line but we're not married?

I dont understand why people get caught up in the formalities. Things are very different from when these traditions were started. Honeslty I normally don't look at my mail to see how its addressed. And don't sweat about the small stuff! :-)

casyme · February 2012

@lul: Amen, sister. <high five>

addressing invitations

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