Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Immature "friends"

ssandellssandell member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Last year I had a falling out with one of my friends. Ever since then, she has created drama constantly. Well, I decided to be the bigger person and send her a save-the-date for my wedding, so that we could put everything behind us and start over. Well, instead of giving me her address, she gives all these excuses on that she doesn't want to meet at my wedding and it would be awkard and a bunch of other things. Basically, it felt like a slap in the face. So I decided that she obviously doesn't want to be there, so I'm not going to reach out to her anymore. 

Well, an old friend of ours (we all went to high school together) has been going around town telling everyone that he's coming to my wedding and he's going to bring her as his date just to piss me off. And she was honestly thinking about doing it! She asked my best friend if she should. WTF?! And now she's getting this guy to text me, asking for my address. He's telling other people to tell me that he's getting married so he needs my address when he's never had a girlfriend and I know for a fact that he is not getting married. 

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should hire security or what. I feel like I can't trust anyone. This is supposed to be a special day and they're trying to ruin it. I haven't done anything to get this backlash so I just can't comprehend why they want to do this. What should I do? 
Stephanie
Report Reply to Post

Re: Immature "friends"

  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you sent her a STD, you have to invite her anyway, so you're kind of stuck.
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • ssandellssandell member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't send her one. I was going to, but she refused to give her address until we met up and talked. She wants to control the situation and I'm not going to let her do that to me. So she has no save the date and no invitation. But I feel like they're harrassing me. 
    Stephanie
    Report Reply
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Since you're all obviously 16, you can solve this by just waiting till you're a grown-up to get married. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • MiddlesexFellsMiddlesexFells member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_immature-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d1f882e2-625f-406b-9917-24e73509d5ecPost:d386c850-a414-40f6-ae29-f0a6e9f0a815">Immature "friends"</a>:
    [QUOTE]... And now she's getting this guy to text me, asking for my address. He's telling other people to tell me that he's getting married so he needs my address  ...
    Posted by ssandell[/QUOTE]

    You know what they need to invent? A way to ignore text messages. That person would get rich!
    Report Reply
  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry...I misread it.
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • jazzybaccjazzybacc member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's hard to be introspective, but there was probably something at some point you did you piss one or both of them off.  Who cares?  Good for you for trying to be the better person. I have a similar situation and I definitely won't be inviting them at all.  Don't hire security.  But inform people in control that if they enter the reception that they need to be removed.  Then if they won't leave, handle the situation from there.  More than likely, they won't even make an appearance.  Have you already invited the guy?
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • tesskerrtesskerr member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think you may have been in the wrong to think of your wedding as a good time to "put things behind you". What you maybe should have done was invite her out for coffee/lunch, and had a "heart to heart" and seen if you could have put things behind you, and become good friends again. A wedding is about the marriage of you and your FI, not a time ro reconcile with friends.

    She may have felt like you were trying to make a big show of being the bigger person by trying to do it at your wedding. 

    It may not be to late to have the coffee thing, and talk to each other like grown ups. If you think you can still be friends, great, organise a girls night out. Don't even mention your wedding to her, as that has nothing to do with you 2 being friends with each other. If you feel like you are still not getting on, then end the friendship.

    Once the friendship is back on track, send her an invite to the wedding. If you send your male friend an invite with a plus one, and he brings her, there is nothing you can do about it. Maybe consider not sending plus ones to guest who don't have a partner if you are really worried about her coming (but remember guests with partners must have them invited aswell)
    Report Reply
  • seansamm62511seansamm62511
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think what your dealing with here is a "frenemy"... this "old friend" of yours, how long has it been since you two have interacted? Can you think of any thing he could be holding aganist you? Clearly he's not as good a friend as you think if he's collaborating on this scheme. I'd say forget both of them! You don't need to deal with that kind of drama on your wedding day. If he's already invited, ask him out to coffee/lunch and sit down with him and see if you can figure out what the deal is. My guess is he'll do one of 2 things- 1) avoid you if he's a true collaborator in this scheme orr... 2) take you up on the offer and talk it out and you may discover that he has less of a hand in it then it sounds like. If you discover either way that he's in on this on HER side, I'd ask him politely not to attend since clearly he's not going to be there for the right reasons (support you on your big day). If he's not invited yet, then just don't invite him.
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards