Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!

Andrea5501 · April 2010

So, I just found out recently that two of my six BMs are moving out of state in the next few months. One to California, one to Indiana. MY wedding is NEXT September in Pennsylvania! What do I do?? Both of them have said that they will still be in it, but the stress of dress fittings, bridal shower, etc is starting to get to me. Does anyone have experience with this??

tidetravel · April 2010

The easiest way to handle a situation like that is to choose a color and designer and let the BMs each pick their own dress. They can order it on their own and get the alterations taken care where they live.

As far as pre-wedding parties: keep in mind that attendance and/or participation is not required. While it would be nice if they can help, be a gracious bride and a good friend by telling them that you would love for them to be there, but understand if they can't be.

caseyandlizzie · April 2010

You have plenty of time to do all of these things. If you want matching dresses, just find a designer that is carried in national bridal stores. The girls can try the dresses on in their local stores and can order them either at their local store so they can pick them up and get them altered there, or if you would like to order them, they can get measured and give you their measurements. I was in a wedding where the bride lived out of state and it worked out just fine.

tracy_k · April 2010

I think I'm missing something.

I had 5 bridesmaids. Two were local (DC area), one was in Denver/Alaska (she's a contractor and spends months at a time there), one was a few hours away, one was in PA.

The only thing we did to accomodate schedules was have our "girls night out" the same weekend as the bridal shower so the OOT folks wouldn't feel pressured to make two trips plus the wedding. There was never a problem.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

I don't think they're dropping like flies. More like they're moving.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

They can order their dresses from a store in their area. That takes care of fittings. And they're still planning on attending the wedding, so everything will be just fine. Promise.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

i was expecting to read about zombie bridesmaids.

I am disappointed.

lalap69 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:40648256-6683-4f40-8a11-77289eb716c9">Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I just found out recently that two of my six BMs are moving out of state in the next few months. One to California, one to Indiana. MY wedding is NEXT September in Pennsylvania! What do I do?? Both of them have said that they will still be in it, but the stress of dress fittings, bridal shower, etc is starting to get to me. Does anyone have experience with this??
Posted by Andrea5501[/QUOTE]
If they've said they'll still be in it, what's the issue? Pick a dress and give them the details. They can either order it from a local store or phone in their measurements to the store closest to you. They don't need to attend the bridal shower or any of the pre-wedding parties. Why are you so stressed? You don't have a problem.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:b8e475fd-62eb-471b-980c-5428ae559baf">Re: Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!! : If they've said they'll still be in it, what's the issue? Pick a dress and give them the details. They can either order it from a local store or phone in their measurements to the store closest to you. They don't need to attend the bridal shower or any of the pre-wedding parties. Why are you so stressed? You don't have a problem.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

<div>This. They can get their dresses where they live.</div><div>
</div><div>And you have nothing to do with planning the shower, so there's nothing for you to worry about.</div>

xoxob · April 2010

I want zombie Bridesmaids now.

duckie1905 · April 2010

I think you are just creating drama by being upset that these women are moving. They don't need to do anything but buy the dress and show up for the wedding. Yeah, it is great if they want or can do more but nothing beyond that is an obligation.

So I guess I don't understand why you are stressing. Just pick a dress. They can probably get it delivered to wherever they are going once it is ordered.

emilyinchile · April 2010

I live in Chile. 3 of 4 BMs live in the US. SOMEHOW, through the magic of the internet and digital cameras (to send photos of them in dresses and discuss things like how they felt about the dresses and their travel plans to get here for the wedding) and my realistic expectations (ie. friends who live in another country and arrive two days before your wedding can't throw you a bridal shower, and that's just fine) we made it work. It was pretty fun, too.

Andrea5501 · April 2010

Thank you all for your fast responses. I was told by one of my in-town bridesmaids that all of the dresses should be ordered at the same time, at the same store, because if they're not, the dye lots will be different and the color may not match from dress to dress. Makes sense to me. To all those who think differently, I hope your weddings haven't come yet! Thanks again

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:c2abcb72-8cb1-4d0f-bcdb-ca1c35b21aa9">Re: Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for your fast responses. I was told by one of my in-town bridesmaids that all of the dresses should be ordered at the same time, at the same store, because if they're not, the dye lots will be different and the color may not match from dress to dress. Makes sense to me. <strong>To all those who think differently, I hope your weddings haven't come yet!</strong> Thanks again
Posted by Andrea5501[/QUOTE]

What the what does that mean?

emilyinchile · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:c2abcb72-8cb1-4d0f-bcdb-ca1c35b21aa9">Re: Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for your fast responses. I was told by one of my in-town bridesmaids that all of the dresses should be ordered at the same time, at the same store, because if they're not, the dye lots will be different and the color may not match from dress to dress. Makes sense to me. <strong>To all those who think differently, I hope your weddings haven't come yet! </strong>Thanks again
Posted by Andrea5501[/QUOTE]

Do you mean you hope their weddings haven't come so that they can realize that your BM is right and order all the dresses at the same store?

A. It doesn't matter these days, stores tell you that to drum up business and
B. Again, through the wonder that is the internet and the telephone, you actually CAN order all the dresses at the same store/time if you want - your BMs just get their orders in to the store, and then you can mail them their dresses.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:c2abcb72-8cb1-4d0f-bcdb-ca1c35b21aa9">Re: Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for your fast responses. I was told by one of my in-town bridesmaids that all of the dresses should be ordered at the same time, at the same store, because if they're not, the dye lots will be different and the color may not match from dress to dress. Makes sense to me. To all those who think differently, I hope your weddings haven't come yet! Thanks again
Posted by Andrea5501[/QUOTE]

<div>Dye lots are BS. The colors are done digitally now, and the variations are so slight that you can't see it with the naked eye. My BMs ordered their dresses all over the country, and they are identical. Stores keep telling people this, because they want you to buy from them, and most people are pretty clueless, and believe whatever the store tells them. </div>

lalap69 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-dropping-like-flies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01e90491-2cb6-476b-9699-2dd6405fe205Post:c2abcb72-8cb1-4d0f-bcdb-ca1c35b21aa9">Re: Bridesmaids - dropping like flies!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all for your fast responses. I was told by one of my in-town bridesmaids that all of the dresses should be ordered at the same time, at the same store, because if they're not, the dye lots will be different and the color may not match from dress to dress. Makes sense to me. To all those who think differently, I hope your weddings haven't come yet! Thanks again
Posted by Andrea5501[/QUOTE]
Um, people are telling you this because they have already had their weddings and it WAS NOT AN ISSUE.

You suck.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

Even if the shades were off by just a smidge, your BMs will be standing next to each other or in different spots. The lighting and shadows falling on them will be different, and any differences would be so slight that it would be unnoticeable.

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