Monday QOTD

Ash61612 · February 2012

What pre-martial counseling did you have to do/are going to have to do?

FaithCaitlin · February 2012

Since we are having a destination wedding, none is required for us. We are unsure if we're still going to do it or not.

ochemjenn · February 2012

We were supposed to have three 1-hour sessions with our minister, but we crammed it into two sessions. That's what happens when you live 4 hours away from where you're getting married! We did the Myers-Briggs before our first session and talked about it. He recommended the 5 Love Languages, but we'd already read it.

fpaemp2011 · February 2012

We took a Sunday School class that went through "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" at a church near our university. DH's dad married us, but said he wouldn't do our counseling, and I really didn't want to talk about some of the pre-marital topics with the man who had been my pastor for 24 years...or my youth pastor.

The class was taught by a couple who had been married for about 12 years, and one other couple our age was in the class with us. They both went to Liberty and actually got married the same day we did. We loved the small group setting, and there were also a few times where we as a couple met with the teaching couple for some more in-depth conversations, and to go over our PREPARE-ENRICH assessments.

The class ran from September-November 2010, so about 9 months before the wedding, but since we didn't know where DH was going to be after he graduated in December (he ended up 1100 miles away) we decided to take the class together before he left. I've had a few friends do counseling over skype, but we preferred to take the sessions together if we could.

sessionswedding · February 2012

We went through a 6-session (shortened to 5-sessions) pre-marital one-on-one with just DH, myself, and a pastor. We did the FOCCUS test for that. We also read For Men Only and For Women only as a part of that counseling.

yodacub · February 2012

We are going through a book with the pastor who is marrying us. The book is Preparing for Marriage. It's a fine book, but the whole counseling thing has been a little drawn out for us. We started dating with the idea of seeing if we were compatable for marriage, and as such we discussed everything while we were dating. And the format is we read the chapters on our own, then at the sessions the pastor literally reads most of the chapter out loud to us and asks us the questions. For some things he's had extra stuff that has been helpful, like conflict resolution strategies, but mostly we are bored. And we've been doing this since September - I live an hour away from FI and the pastor, so it's hard to find time to get together consistently. Fortunately, this week is our last session.

In general, I think premarital counseling is an excellent idea, there are many topics that need to be discussed that I think many couples miss. We just don't happen to be one of those couples.

mrandmrsbrist · February 2012

Very little. My grandpa is the one who married us but we had one of our ministers from church speak at our wedding and we met with him a few times. We didn't go through a book or anything, but he brought up a lot of good things for us to talk about and consider.

Purple&7 · February 2012

We're not sure if we're going to do one yet. His grandmother is marrying us so it isn't really required.

AshNoel8 · February 2012

We had like 3 sessions with our pastor. We did a test and then she analyzed our compatibility and decided what the other sessions would focus on. We really enjoyed it and I think it was very beneficial.

RebeccaJac · February 2012

We did 6 two hour sessions with our pastor, went through an 18 week financial course, read a few books and did some personality assessments. The 6 sessions were required, everything else we did on our own.

I am SO thankful we did premarital counseling. It really did bring up things we hadn't talked about before and we've been together 4 years, half of which was long distance doing nothing but talking. The prep definately was worth it!

naomikb · February 2012

We met with the pastor one time, for maybe 1-1.5 hours. He had given us material beforehand to read and talk about questions with each other, and then we went through some of the "key" points with him that he thought were important.

Mostly he wanted to make sure that we had discussed things - how to handle finances, plans for kids, what to do if we can't conceive (adoption as an option), plans for schooling, plans for raising our kids in the church, etc. He didn't want to tell us how to do things, but rather make sure that my H and I had discussed them and made sure we were on the same page.

RyansBelovedBride · February 2012

We're planning on doing both premarital counseling with my priest and his pastor (his pastor will be the one legally marrying us). We haven't started either yet though, so I don't know how it will go. On our own, we also have found stuff online and talked about things, talked about books and things like that.

RyansBelovedBride · February 2012

Huh. I pressed "add post" and it refreshed... and my post isn't there. So forgive me if this is double posting, but...

We're doing premarital counseling with both my priest and his pastor, though we've started neither so far.

We also do stuff on our own, like finding quizzes and the like online, discussing books on marriage, etc. We want a strong start to our marriage.

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