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PW: jenjenniferf> BotB

Babies on the Brain*

Are you/will you/would you be the type to plan out and prep for pregnancy?
(I know not everyone wants all of the babies, like me, but I wanna discuss the pros and cons of these views.) It seems like there are sort of a few options for getting pregnant, prepping for it by reading up for it and changing one's diet and exercise and doing stuff like taking your temperature and such.
Or just stop trying to prevent pregnancy with birth controls, and let nature take it's course.
Or accidentally getting pregnant because your BC doesn't work or something.

Which are you/would you be? Why?

Ever think about how many years of your life you have spent  preventing pregnancy?

«1

Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB

  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I are undecided about children but we're leaning towards not having any. 

    If we were to change our minds, though, I think I'd just go off BCPs and we'd wait and see what happens. 

    I've spent almost 12 years of my life preventing pregnancy. There'll be at least another 3 to add onto that. 

    I have this insane fear in the back of my mind that I'm going to get KTFU right now and be all preggers on my wedding day (I've been thinking about this for a while now). I'm pretty sure this fear is affecting my sex life. 



  • 12 years for me too! lol

    I had that fear too! But only that it would make it impossible to fit in my dress, otherwise bring on da bebes.
  • I was a well planned baby.  My parents were married for six years before my mom got KTFU.  They were in their 30's but when they compared it to their other friends who had kids in their late teens or 20's and were divorced and broke, they felt waiting was the best decision.  For me, BF and I have talked about it, we wants kids but because of my age (32 turning 33 this year) and the rate that we're going, I would have to get knocked up on our honeymoon.  Granted, a lot of people on both sides of my family had kids later in life, but I'm too afraid to take the chance.  The infertility benefits at both of our employers sucks so it's not something we want to mess around with.  Prepping for that, I'm definitely dropping weight, I take multi vitamins now the only other thing would be to stop drinking and smoking (which I only do when I drink ugh) and getting my IUD removed.  Financially we'll be ready, but everyone tells me that you're never financially ready to have a kid.

    No, I've never thought about how many years I've spent trying not to get pregnant.  Thanks for bringing it up lol.  I've been on BC since I was 16 and I'm 32 now so 16 years dang. 

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  • It's going to be at least another year for us, but I've started reading the pre-pregnancy books.  I'll probably want to chart just because I know endo has screwed things up so badly for me and if I don't keep track and we end up having problems, it will be hard to explain to my doctor exactly what is happening.  I've been on the pill for 10 years, 6 of which have actually invited "birth control."
    Anniversary
  • I have a serious case of BOTB this week.  Probably because of the conversation FI and I had this weekend had put my crazies in overdrive.

    I have been actively trying not to for a little over 17 years.  I've always wanted kids, and even if I hadn't met FI I probably would've started trying on my own in the next year.   I just happened to have met the person I want to spend forever with and I want to have children with.  He wants the same things, as well, and in the same time frame. 

    I know stories on all sides.  The oops babies at 16, the oops babies on bc, the I wasn't trying and it happened but I'm happy, and the we've been trying for years and no baby.    Its scary to think I've spent 17 years trying to control something I may not have control of.  So I do research.  But that can make you crazy. 

    FI and I are trying to figure out what are next steps are in this plan.  We want to plan, but we don't want to be too crazy about it.  After all we have a wedding to plan, too.   I switched to PNV's after my annual last year and a discussion with my NP that all child bearing age women should take them.  Other than that, FI and I just have to figure out when to stop bc and pull the goalie.  I'm excited, but it freaks me out at the same time.
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  • I keep going back and forth if I want kids. Right now, I know for sure I don't. BF is the same way, and if we did have kids, we'd have to start within the next 2 years (He will be 33 in April) which really scares me. I don't feel like I have done enough in my life to start a family. I want to have a better job, and I want to travel and buy a house first.

    If I did I would probably just go off the Nuvaring and wait for it to happen. I have been on BC since I was 16, but, that was for bad cramps, so really only 8 years of trying to prevent pregnancy.
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  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]I was a well planned baby.  My parents were married for six years before my mom got KTFU.  They were in their 30's but when they compared it to their other friends who had kids in their late teens or 20's and were divorced and broke, they felt waiting was the best decision.  For me, BF and I have talked about it, we wants kids but because of my age (32 turning 33 this year) and the rate that we're going, I would have to get knocked up on our honeymoon.  Granted, a lot of people on both sides of my family had kids later in life, but I'm too afraid to take the chance.  The infertility benefits at both of our employers sucks so it's not something we want to mess around with.  Prepping for that, I'm definitely dropping weight, I take multi vitamins now the only other thing would be to stop drinking and smoking (which I only do when I drink ugh) and getting my IUD removed.  Financially we'll be ready, but everyone tells me that you're never financially ready to have a kid. No, I've never thought about how many years I've spent trying not to get pregnant.  Thanks for bringing it up lol.  I've been on BC since I was 16 and I'm 32 now so 16 years dang. 
    Posted by buddysmom80[/QUOTE]

    oooh You reminded me that I should read about the maternity leave offered at work.

    Is Buddy an animal? Or are you already a mom? :)

    My ma had me right out of HS, my sister right after she got remarried to my (step)dad and my other sister before Y2K so they wouldn't be empty nesters (They are now divorcing).
    I feel like this is the ideal time for me, but unfortuntuately I have to ask my H what he wants.
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]It's going to be at least another year for us, but I've started reading the pre-pregnancy books.  I'll probably want to chart just because I know endo has screwed things up so badly for me and if I don't keep track and we end up having problems, it will be hard to explain to my doctor exactly what is happening.  I've been on the pill for 10 years, 6 of which have actually invited "birth control."
    Posted by LaSak87[/QUOTE]

    lol I don't know what exactly you mean by "invited".
  • I have a plan. It's called don't get pregnant. This is a very well-thought-out plan. I have an IUD now. We may consider a more permanent option when the IUD's 5 years are up.

    While I haven't thought about it until now, I suppose I've been preventing pregnancy for 15 years (since age 18). But there were five years in there where I didn't have sex and didn't need BC. So it's ten net years.

  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]I have a serious case of BOTB this week.  Probably because of the conversation FI and I had this weekend had put my crazies in overdrive. I have been actively trying not to for a little over 17 years.  I've always wanted kids, and even if I hadn't met FI I probably would've started trying on my own in the next year.   I just happened to have met the person I want to spend forever with and I want to have children with.  He wants the same things, as well, and in the same time frame.  I know stories on all sides.  The oops babies at 16, the oops babies on bc, the I wasn't trying and it happened but I'm happy, and the we've been trying for years and no baby.    Its scary to think I've spent 17 years trying to control something I may not have control of.  So I do research.  But that can make you crazy.  FI and I are trying to figure out what are next steps are in this plan.  We want to plan, but we don't want to be too crazy about it.  After all we have a wedding to plan, too.   I switched to PNV's after my annual last year and a discussion with my NP that all child bearing age women should take them.  Other than that, FI and I just have to figure out when to stop bc and pull the goalie.  I'm excited, but it freaks me out at the same time.
    Posted by suzie211[/QUOTE]

    I think I want to get pregnant by accident, but there is just no way. I'm trying to be more careless with the pill because I'm passive like that. Worst. Character. Ever.
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'd probably start by just going off BCP and seeing what happened. I wouldn't make any drastic changes except not drinking, and I'd want to make sure I was in really good shape before I starting "trying". 

    BF and I watched "Parenthood" last night, and theres a scene where one character surprises her husband and tells him she's pregnant, and it was really cute how she did it. BF turned to me and said "You would totally do something like that to me - make some big production out of announcing it." So I asked him if that was what he wanted - me to surprise him with new like that, and he said "No way." and he insisted on finding out with me. I thought it was cute that he had such a strong opinion on finding out together. 

    BF and I have discussed babies quite a few times actually, and he knows that I want to be pregnant by 30. He said he's fine with that. I'm sure we'll be "trying" pretty quickly after we get married, as long as that doesn't happen within the next year.
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  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]I have a plan. It's called don't get pregnant. This is a very well-thought-out plan. I have an IUD now. We may consider a more permanent option when the IUD's 5 years are up. While I haven't thought about it until now, I suppose I've been preventing pregnancy for 15 years (since age 18). But there were five years in there where I didn't have sex and didn't need BC. So it's ten net years.
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    Any one have the fear of immaculate conception? In college my suitemates and I had this hilarious conversation how we had all foolishly feared we were pregnant at one time or another, when only God himself could've made that happen.
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : lol I don't know what exactly you mean by "invited".
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]
    Brain = off
    I meant to say involved controlling birth but apparently I can't string anything coherent together today haha
    Anniversary
  • The BF and I both know we want to have babies after we are married. We are thinking to probably wait a year and a half or two so we can focus on our marriage and spend some time together before we add another focus into our lives. If I can imagine what I would do then, which will probably change since that will be a long time from now, I would probably take more vitamins and look into when I'm most likely to conceive. I don't use BC because in the past it caused some issues with my health and also my BF and I are not sexually active. We made a decision to wait until marriage and after we are married I will probably have no choice but to start some sort of BC because unless we want a baby right off the bat then I'll need to do something. 

    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]I'd probably start by just going off BCP and seeing what happened. I wouldn't make any drastic changes except not drinking, and I'd want to make sure I was in really good shape before I starting "trying".  BF and I watched "Parenthood" last night, and theres a scene where one character surprises her husband and tells him she's pregnant, and it was really cute how she did it. BF turned to me and said "You would totally do something like that to me - make some big production out of announcing it." So I asked him if that was what he wanted - me to surprise him with new like that, and he said "No way." and he insisted on finding out with me. I thought it was cute that he had such a strong opinion on finding out together.  BF and I have discussed babies quite a few times actually, and he knows that I want to be pregnant by 30. He said he's fine with that. I'm sure we'll be "trying" pretty quickly after we get married, as long as that doesn't happen within the next year.
    Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

    I love you for not spoiling this. I'm behind on that show and it is my very best friend. So thank you.
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I love you for not spoiling this. I'm behind on that show and it is my very best friend. So thank you.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]
    I'm also behind but this is incentive to catch up!!
    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : Brain = off I meant to say involved controlling birth but apparently I can't string anything coherent together today haha
    Posted by LaSak87[/QUOTE]

    I was like "Were there years where she was getting uninvited sex?" I guess that could be funny, and not funny at the exact same time.
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I was like "Were there years where she was getting uninvited sex?" I guess that could be funny, and not funny at the exact same time.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]
    Sometimes I'm not sure how certain things get through my proofreading haha
    Anniversary
  • I very very very much want a baby in my belly...like yesterday. Y'all know why, so I won't be the thread killer.
    My plan? Scream at el senor, "PUT ANOTHER BABY IN MY BELLY, NOW!" Just kidding. Or am I?
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I think I want to get pregnant by accident, but there is just no way. I'm trying to be more careless with the pill because I'm passive like that. Worst. Character. Ever.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    I go through these emotions all the time.  Its like in the moment all I can think is I want a baby.  And then Saturday morning rolls around, and I get to sleep in.  Then I'm actually glad my bc works.
    photo bridalparty.jpg
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  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I go through these emotions all the time.  Its like in the moment all I can think is I want a baby.  And then Saturday morning rolls around, and I get to sleep in.  Then I'm actually glad my bc works.
    Posted by suzie211[/QUOTE]
    I get like this too, especially when I see pregnant friends.  Then I remember that now just is not the time haha
    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]I very very very much want a baby in my belly...like yesterday. Y'all know why, so I won't be the thread killer. My plan? Scream at el senor, "PUT ANOTHER BABY IN MY BELLY, NOW!" Just kidding. Or am I?
    Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

    If I yell it loud enough, he may hear me. You know, cause we are sorta close.
  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : Any one have the fear of immaculate conception? In college my suitemates and I had this hilarious conversation how we had all foolishly feared we were pregnant at one time or another, when only God himself could've made that happen.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    Maybe not immaculate, but I do worry about that 0.001% chance. So we sometimes use condoms, too, but sometimes I find them uncomfortable. (Isn't that supposed to be the guy's complaint?)
  • No babies on the brain yet here. I've been on the pill for 15 years now ( yikes!).  Once we are married I want to go off the pill to see what happens and let God/nature decide, at least for a few months.  Then because of our ages we'll really need to plan to actively conceive.  I hope it will happen naturally.

    I hate because of our ages it will be something we will have to think about shortly after marriage.  If a whoops happened now I wouldn't be too upset, it would somehow mean this baby is really meant to be ours. I fear the whole trying to conceive, being pregnant, giving birth thing.  I wouldn't mind just going to China and adopting a little girl.

    Anniversary

  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I get like this too, especially when I see pregnant friends.  Then I remember that now just is not the time haha
    Posted by LaSak87[/QUOTE]

    I saw one of the cutest babies drinking a bottle at the dealership this weekend. It was all sorts of pretty and quiet and sooo comfortable in her mom's arms. I want that.
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : I love you for not spoiling this. I'm behind on that show and it is my very best friend. So thank you.
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    Oh no! I actually thought about putting **Parenthood Spoiler** but I thought it might be overkill. At least I didn't totally ruin it for you, since there are more than one possibilities. Watch it!
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  • In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf> BotB:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: PW: jenjenniferf /> BotB : Oh no! I actually thought about putting **Parenthood Spoiler** but I thought it might be overkill. At least I didn't totally ruin it for you, since there are more than one possibilities. Watch it!
    Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

    No worries! Remember when they thought Haddie was pregnant, but it was Christina?!
  • I'm terrified of kids and childbirth.  I really want to adopt though, so the childbirth thing shouldn't be a huge issue. 

    BUT I won't be having or adopting children for at least the next 5 years.  I don't care if that makes me "old".  My mom didn't start having kids until she was 32 and all four of us came out just fine.

    Plusalso, I can't afford a kid right now.  They're pricey little buggers.
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • Sometimes I look forward to being a mom and other times I wonder, well what if I bring the baby home and I don't like this whole parenthood thing. I'm SOL at that point.  I wish they had trial runs...
    I hate that it needs to be something BF & I will not have years to think about.  I said I refuse to try once I hit 40.

    Anniversary

  • I really want to just go off the pill and just see what happens.  FI wants kids more than I do, I'm more of a "if it happens, it happens" type of person.  I want to wait 3-4 years after getting married to think about it, but I wouldn't be opposed to going off the pill sooner, I guess.  I don't want to chart or anything, mostly because I think I'll get too into trying to plan it out, and then I'll be really invested in the whole thing, and not getting KUed would be hard on me - even if it's not the #1 most important thing to me.

    I'm also paranoid of getting pregnant right now because me 8 months pregnant would NOT fit in my wedding dress.
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