Escort cards help - WWYD?

Sparrow515 · February 2010

Being the gracious host that I am (heehee) I am allowing my single coworkers to bring a guest to my wedding. I say "gracious" because they all know each other and would be perfectly fine sitting with each other without a guest. Anyways, I told these single girls that I would need to know the names of the guests so I could write up the escort cards. And they all gave me crap about it! They we're like 'I don't know who I'm going to bring, and what if I change my mind about who I'm bringing after I've already given you a name?' I wanted to say 'Listen biotches, you're only allowed to bring guests out of the goodness of my heart, so the least you can do is give me a darn name'. But I backed down, mumbled something inaudible and now here I am not knowing what to do

So in your opinions, what should I do? I really don't want to write "Jane's Guest" and "Lisa's Guest" on the cards, but if that seems like the best route, I guess I will

I'm also hoping for about 30 declines, since we paid for 100 people and have 132 invited, so them being a$$holes about this really isn't helping my attitude! Them not bringing guests would bring my guest list down about 10 people but I'm not mean like that...they just don't get it that I'm doing them a favor

TIA!

Mattsbride10 · February 2010

Just curious...Why does is matter if the escort card says Jane and guest? I just don't see anything wrong with that.

dibsontop · February 2010

I would do just one card for the "couple"......Jane Doe and Guest

I can understand from their point of view that they might not know who they'd like to bring until the last minute, but that's incredibly frustrating for you.

I know on TheKnot boards it's terrible taboo to ever even mention the phrase "and guest" but I see it as though you have no other choice in this situation. You don't want to keep harping on them and it's just stressful and more work for you to keep hounding them.

Have you worded your response cards yet? Maybe if you took the route of filing in your coworkers name and then a blank line for guest, maybe they'll get the hint that if they don't know who they're bringing by the time they respond, maybe they should only respond for one. Just another thought.

Mattsbride10 · February 2010

I just had a thought....Are you referring to place cards (card found at the guest's seat)? If not then 'Jane and guest' on one escort card is perfectly fine.

miguelhilary2010 · February 2010

I would do them by couple and use "and guest"... it makes the person less significant, but if they dont know who they are brining then I guess they're pretty damn insignificant anyway

Sparrow515 · February 2010

LOL, MiguelHilary, too true

I like that idea!
Yes, I am talking about the place cards that show what table each person is assigned for dinner. Thanks for all the input ladies, I appreciate it!

Ms.BriarRose · February 2010

I am one of those people who hatehatehate the saying "and guest", but I can see the problem with your dillemma.

What I would do, and this is just a suggestion, is tell them they have a deadline of a certain date to tell you who their guest is. If they don't give you the name by then, then you are counting them without a guest, and they are coming alone. I know that sounds harsh, but I am of the opinion that brides sometimes need to be harsh to get things done for their wedding. If you think they are still going to be b!tches, I would have your mom or your MOH step in and make the call- I don't think they are going to get bitchy with the mother of the bride.

That being said (I know, it's harsh), if you choose to not go that route, I would do one of three things:
1) wait until the last minute, find out who their guest is, and have someone write their name in. I know this is a hassle, but you don't have to do it yourself; delegate it to someone else. This option would be for the bride who doesn't want "and guest" on a card.
2) Do what PP suggested, and write "Jane Doe's Guest" on the card. If they are such slobs and disrespectful of your request, and want their guest to be a nobody, make them a nobody.
3) have your mother or MOH call and ask (nicely) for the name of their guest with the excuse "we want them to feel included on the invitation". This would only work if you haven't sent your invites out yet.

Don't take the harshness the wrong way, it's just an opinion

. I am a huge stickler for ettiquite, so that's just my take on it all. Good luck with everything!

Sparrow515 · February 2010

LOL Brit, I'll probably try option #2 or #3. Invitations haven't gone out yet, but at this point I'm really starting not to care if the "and guest" feels included. It will be someone I've never met, so maybe not caring is a good thing. Like my mom always says when I start to gripe, "no worries!". I'm starting to live by that

But thank you for the input, at least now I know where to start with this!

Escort cards help - WWYD?

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