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Engagement Party

Elizabeth BurginElizabeth Burgin
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
So my Future Mother-in-Law wants to trow us an engagement party. She is inviting several guests that are not on the guest list for our wedding (its a tight budget) Do i have to invite them?

She was also suppost to give her her list at the end of june and i told her that i needed it and she just now gave it to me. I have already told her that her list of guest that she wants us to envite to the wedding will not be invited because we cant go over 100 people and she was late on giving it to me.

on of the people she wants to invite is also her Daughters Boyfriends mother and father that both i and my FI have not met. i do not feel comfortable to invite them. is this ok?

Is this wrong of me to do?
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Re: Engagement Party

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    You can decline the party so as not to break etiquette. As for your FMIL this is your FI's problem. He needs to handle it.
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  • Elizabeth BurginElizabeth Burgin
    10 Comments
    I cant decline this, my FI wont let me.
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  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    He won't "let" you? It is completely acceptable to politely decline a shower. If you accept her offer to throw you a shower, however, everyone who is invited must also be invited to the wedding. Your grammatical errors made it a bit difficult to understand your initial post. Does the list she gave you include guests she wanted to invite to the wedding or the shower? If it is for the wedding and you and your FI are paying, you are not obligated to invite these people. If, however, it is for the shower (and you decide to let her throw it for you), you must also include these individuals when you send wedding invitations.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
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  • Elizabeth BurginElizabeth Burgin
    10 Comments
    My FI wont let me say no to the party, That is why i am in a odd situation.

    We are paying for the wedding. she will not tell me who is on the list for the party.

    I can not afford to have everyon at this party to come to my wedding. I dont know anyone, and neither does my FI.

    I have already told her only 2 people her guest list (that is 50 people long) will be invited since she gave it to my too late (save the dates are out) and wedding guest list is already over on the # of people i can have (100 people and its at 130)
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your FI won't let you?  Does he understand that this is a really big faux pas and it can lead to a rift in the relationship these people have with his parents? 
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  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Ditto banana. You need to explain to your FI that accepting the shower and not inviting the attendees to your wedding could have long lasting ramifications. If these individuals are taking time to celebrate your upcoming marriage at your shower and, presumably, spending money on shower gifts, they must be included on your wedding guest list. Your FI needs to be made aware that the only polite alternative is to decline.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
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  • Elizabeth BurginElizabeth Burgin
    10 Comments
    He is aware of that and he does not care. he says sometimes you have to be a d***

    and he has told the people that are coming that they are not invited to the wedding and they understand they keep telling me that the engagement party is about inviting people you know you cant invite to the wedding.

    i was shock when they all said that.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-32?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:65888001-5a17-414b-99a0-bb661c741d47Post:a133b8a4-aaa3-4a65-8428-585f8df510de">Re: Engagement Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]He is aware of that and he does not care. he says sometimes you have to be a d*** and he has told the people that are coming that they are not invited to the wedding and they understand they keep telling me that the engagement party is about inviting people you know you cant invite to the wedding. i was shock when they all said that.
    Posted by Elizabeth Burgin[/QUOTE]


    It appears that you have no problem speaking up to strangers, so you can say "No" to your fiance.  You're an adult, and he's not your father.
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