October 2012 Weddings

Ugh Poll

Ugh my family wants me to make a honeyfund account :/ this is the site where you register for specific things on your honey moon like excursions etc put a price ppl buy you that experience and print out a gift cert to put with the cash in the card :/ I dont really like the idea of this I feel its tacky everyone wants money... you dont need to advertise it ..... 

Re: Ugh Poll

  • edited January 2012
    We are doing a honeymoon registry and every guest that has asked about our registry, thinks it is a great idea.  We own a home, have everything that we need, and if we want something for our home, we want to be the ones to buy it.  We knew we wanted to do this since before we even got engaged.  I don't think it's any different than setting up a regular registry and accepting those gifts.
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  • I don't know about these. Honestly, I would give a gift to the couple rather than this. I don't really feel right about even asking for guests to contribute to my honeymoon. Also don't let your family pressure you into anything that you don't feel comfortable doing.
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  • I agree with Cathyl.  You could point out that a lot of those companies take a percentage of each "gift" so you'd not even recieve everything that the person paid.  
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  • I definitely know they're against etiquette. I'm not real big on them. Like PPs stated, you don't even get the full amount of the gift. FI and I have everything we need, so we're just only registering for a few things.
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  • edited January 2012
    I know a lot of people on here dislike them but I don't really see what the big deal is.  People who don't want to contribute to your honeymoon, it's simple--they don't contribute.  No one is forcing them to gift you through that.  The only problem I have with them is that it sucks that the company takes a percentage so you don't actually get the whole amount of what your guest gifts you.  

    Anyway, it sounds like you're not really comfortable doing it and if so, you shouldn't do it.  Don't let your family pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.  It's your and your FI wedding and you can decide what you want to register for, if anything at all.
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  • I think it's kind of tacky, but besides that, what's been explained before on here is that apparently the companies that make these things take a cut off the top, so if a guest is giving you $100 towards some excursion, they're really giving you $90.  I would be wary.
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  • when i first heard about it i was like thats so neat someone could be like " oh i want you to go scuba diving < or whatever> this experiance is my gift to you! but when  i looked into it and from what i read your guest would basically just be transfering $< they make you set up a paypal account and all>  into your account with the company they are doing it through taking a %. so why not just let guest give you the $ then you can use the full amount for what you want to do!
  • We own a home too n have been together going on 6 years. I dident know they take a % that makes it even worse my sister said its completly free :/ I am not going to do it I will do a traditional registry of aomeone wants to give cash they can and I'm sire they will. It bothered me more they want this for my bridal shower why have a bridal shower if ur just askong for cash I would feel Absolutly terrible about it. Bottom line im not comfortable with it so its not going to happen
  • Not all of those sites take a percentage. The big one in my mind that stands out is the Disney one. But there are non-disney ones that don't charge either.

    Personally I don't see the big deal. You register for gifts, you register for your honeymoon, either way your telling people this is what I want. I've been to bridal showers with both, one or the other and none. I've never been offended either way.

    Do what works best for you.

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  • I don't see what the big deal is, besides the fact that youre uncomfortable with it.

    When my brother got married he had one set up through Disney and all the money went to them. They also did a small BBB registry. I thought it was a great idea. I bought them a small item on their registry and also contributed to their honeymoon.

    Most people wont just give you $$ or a gift card at a shower anyways. So its not like you are just going to be opening a card with money. Someone got my brother a basket with suncreen and aloe and also $$ to the honeymoon fund. Another person gave them a beach bag with 2 really nice beach towels and $$ to the honeymoon. Other people got them small items off their registry and $$.

    I dont see a problem as long as you give people other options. If they aren't comfortable with it they can choose to buy something off another registry or nothing at all.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ugh-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:36287a28-d3de-41fa-8408-ecdaad520ec0Post:732a13e9-bf6c-45f7-92a5-ea5e479f530d">Re: Ugh Poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't see what the big deal is, besides the fact that youre uncomfortable with it. When my brother got married he had one set up through Disney and all the money went to them. They also did a small BBB registry. I thought it was a great idea. I bought them a small item on their registry and also contributed to their honeymoon. Most people wont just give you $$ or a gift card at a shower anyways. So its not like you are just going to be opening a card with money. Someone got my brother a basket with suncreen and aloe and also $$ to the honeymoon fund. Another person gave them a beach bag with 2 really nice beach towels and $$ to the honeymoon. Other people got them small items off their registry and $$.<strong> I dont see a problem as long as you give people other options. If they aren't comfortable with it they can choose to buy something off another registry or nothing at all.</strong>
    Posted by RockyNFrankie[/QUOTE]
    Very true !
  • Just to update those who do like this idea my sister said honeyfund.com is free, the only way you get a charge is if you upgrade to a premium website which is not necessary or if you would like to set up paypal payments.
  • I think it's not a big deal as long as you do it along with a regular registry at a store. That way people have a choice what to get you and they don't feel like their only option is to "contribute" to your honeymoon. Obviously ,the people who think it's a great idea are able to contribute but the people who aren't too thrilled about it can go a more traditional route.
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  • We did the honeymoon registry because we are going on a cruise. So we just did a few things like booze tickets, excursions, upgrades for different things, and a picture on the ship. We are also going to register at another place probably Macy's for those who would like to get us something for the house.
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  • I don't get why people think they are against etiquette. I personally think they are a fun and great idea. You do a registry and asks for gifts that cost money . . . I don't see the difference?
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  • You should do what you want, but I dont think a honeymoon registry is tacky especially if you have a regualr registry too or if you just dont need any of the other typical gifts.  

    We will have several registries: honeyfund, dillards, bedbathandbeyond, walmart, and registry360.  We plan to use registry 360 to register for home improvement products like fertilizer, fence posts, etc.  

    However, we are not a traidtional couple.  We live together and own a home already.  We have a lot of the traidtional things like mixers and dishes already, so it seams silly to ask for things we dont need.

    Besides, gifts are an option, not a requirement of guests.
  • I feel like a honeymoon fund is just a thinly-disguised request for cash.  If I want to contribute to someone's honeymoon (or house fund, or anything else) I'll give cash.  If I use it on the honeymoon, I would mention that in my thank-you note "thanks for your generous gift.  FI and I used it to go scuba diving!  (pic inclosed).

    I don't know how this particular registry works; is it like, scuba diving costs $150, so if you purchase it I get $150, or do I just get a scuba diving voucher?  Depending on your life situation, you might prefer to get a nice set of dishes / pans rather than a scuba diving voucher.
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  • I personally think they are great.  My brother and his wife did it when they got married because they already owned a home and needed very little for it.  It's not just asking for money in my opinion.  People who are going to make "purchases" off the honeymoon website are the ones who would have given you a gift anyway.  Now instead of just giving you cash, they're getting you an experience.  I know when I bought the champagne and strawberries greeting in their room that they just got the cash for it, but they used it for the champagne and strawberries.  I got a kick out of knowing they didn't just get cash but when they were greeted with a bottle of their favorite champagne it was because of me.
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  • With that being said though, if YOU personally feel it's tacky, please do not let anyone pressure you into doing it.  While I see nothing wrong with it, I certainly don't see anything wrong with someone not wanting to do it.  It's your wedding, do what you are comfortable with.  That's what is important.
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