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Proposal when we're already "engaged"

Mrs.PazMrs.Paz
First Comment
in Just Engaged and Proposals
FI (or BF what have you...) and I are getting married, wedding planning etc, but there is still no ring or proposal. We're in the midst of ring shopping and would like to wait till fall to "get engaged" and announce it to everyone.  He still wants to have a romantic proposal, but we're a little confused how to do this when I'm picking the ring and it won't be a surprise.

Any ideas on how to encourage him that a traditional proposal is possible? ie - let him go buy the ring and make plans, but not letting me know when exactly?
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Re: Proposal when we're already "engaged"

  • luckygrl1224luckygrl1224
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Why not pick out exactly what ring you want, take pictures, get the information, etc and let im buy it whenever he thinks it's a good time to propose to you and surprise you. That way you get your dream ring and you can both have that special surprise proposal.

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  • CassieeKCassieeK
    First Comment
    If you're in the midst of planning, a "proposal" seems silly to me. Just get the ring when you can and don't worry about a proposal moment.
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  • mojo1827mojo1827
    First Comment
    My FI and I just got engaged this Friday.  I picked the ring out with my best friend, then showed it to him.  He got the ring on his own and surprised me at my graduation dinner with the proposal.  I didn't want to be surprised with the ring but I did with when I was going to get it, you know?  It was still special because I knew what ring he was getting but the proposal was unexpected.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment

    We had the same issue. I picked out my ring, and he still wanted to do a cute romantic proposal...he didnt tell me when he had paid it off and surprised me with the proposal 5 de mayo!

    it can still happen!...we had talked about it and even some of my family already knew and I still didnt have a ring on my finger..but he came through and STILL managed to surprise me and make it romantic :)

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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    First Comment
    I went and picked out my ring with my FI.  But we didn't buy it that day.  He went back later and bought it and proposed a few months later and I had no idea he was doing it.  But we also weren't already in the midst of planning our wedding.  I'm going to have to agree with Cassie that if you are already planning just skip the proposal and wear the ring.
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  • orangecrayonorangecrayon member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We had the same issue because him and his parents asked my parents permission to marry me. After that we had my custom diamond made and because I wanted a proposal, he thought about it on his own and surprised me. It's fine if u pick ur ring, but let the surprise fall into place
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_proposal-were-already-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:3c99ffa3-0b55-42dc-8007-16777d81e2ccPost:182de28e-d4f3-4f61-b494-f2a60c89f3d8">Re: Proposal when we're already "engaged"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went and picked out my ring with my FI.  But we didn't buy it that day.  He went back later and bought it and proposed a few months later and I had no idea he was doing it.  But we also weren't already in the midst of planning our wedding.  I'm going to have to agree with Cassie that if you are already planning just skip the proposal and wear the ring.
    Posted by greeneke2[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is what FI and I did, </div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I'm with Cassie.</div>
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    You just do it?

    I started planning before the ring and it was still just as special. When you find the man you want, every moment is special. You are thinking into pre-planned guidelines you have already chosen to not abide by. Let it happen and let things fall into place. It is way easier to relax than dictate.
    image
    RAWR!

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  • jdrose5jdrose5
    First Comment
    My room mate didn't think a "proposal" momment would be that big of deal because they were already planning their wedding. 

    They went out looking at rings and she let him know what she wanted and he picked out a ring like what she wanted.   He buys the ring and proposed early in Dec.  She admits that momment was speical.  She had no clue when he was going to ask her or anything like that.   It was a total surprise. 
     
    Now she is thankful he did that.  Even if he waited till 5 months after they started planning their wedding/were engaged.
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  • sebemssebems
    First Comment
    My Fi and I talked about getting married and actually we both considered ourselves engaged for about six months and have been gradually planning things together and deciding on exactly what we want! and up until last week we never really told anyone bc he felt that their needed to be a ring on my finger before people found out! well last week it became official when he was introducing me to someone and said this is sarah we are engaged! well there was still no ring so he went home and ordered the one he had been looking at on the internet! there is nothing wrong with having the engagement without the ring or a proposal! 
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  • rich&skinnyrich&skinny member
    First Comment
    We did this! We already had the venue, church, photographer, flowers, cake, even my dress before I got my ring and it was still romantic and perfect. My advice would be to pick out the ring, but don't be there when he buys it because then it will still be a little surprise since you won't know for sure he has it. It will be romantic I'm sure :)
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  • meep2meep2 member
    First Comment
    I don't think that a traditional "proposal" is possible without being somewhat contrived or acted out. You're engaged. Unless you have a seperate ceremony in your religion, there is no American tradition nowadays by which people become "officially betrothed." This means that if the two of you have agreed to get married you are engaged, whether you agreed by saying yes to his proposal, or whether the two of you mutually decided to get married by discussing it and beginning wedding plans. The latter isn't something to feel bad about, either. It seems that people are beginning to think that proposals should be these big overblown moments of transcendence, but there is something amazing about two people coming to a well-considered decision about how they are going to spend the rest of their lives!

    This isn't to mean that he can't surprise you with the ring! Just why make it a proposal? He can surprise you with it at a special moment and instead of asking you to be his wife, reiterate how happy he is that you're going to be!
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  • Christopher and Kimberly Christopher and Kimberly
    First Comment
    Me and my BF are in the same boat. We have been talking about marriage since we got together, knowing that he was the one and one day I would be his wife it was always fun to dream about what the day would be like that he would propose and we would be married. We officially started planning late last year and had our date set. We have our location and a photographer in mind but sticking to some traditions we still want a traditional proposal. He is determined to buy my ring on his own and surprise me with a proposal. I do not see anything wrong with it. We are planning but the "engagment" is not official. It works for us so if it works for you I don't see the big deal. Laughing
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