Need advice!- Sister doesn't care

Re: Need advice!- Sister doesn't care

• Viczaesar member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_need-advice-sister-doesnt-care?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:80ef5512-9fce-4775-94db-cbdbd458ed02Post:193d02ff-43a1-4ff2-a36b-e9e5a8da2b64">Need advice!- Sister doesn't care</a>:
  [QUOTE]I recently got engaged and told my sister. She didn't seem so excited but of course she is my maid of honor. Whenever i bring up wedding stuff she ignores it or bring its about herself. She never asks me anything about my wedding or fiance. I am really hurt because my sister is my twin and we're best friends. However I am the caring sensitive one who loves to be in plans and my sister is only concerned about herself. I don't know how to handle it because when i try to talk to her she laughs or gets mad. 
  Posted by lbelly19[/QUOTE]
  Solution: stop talking wedding stuff with her.  She's obviously not interested.

  
  
  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013

  Ditto.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  February 2013

  Agree with PPs. She doesn't seem into wedding stuff, and that's okay.  Her role as your MOH is to buy the dress (which takes into account her budget) and be sober and smiling on your wedding day.  Her personality, if it has always been egocentric, isn't going to change now.  The best you can do is understand who your sister is and resolve now not to be upset by her lack of interest.  Your FI should be your primary wedding planning and DIY partner anyway.
  
  Also, if you aren't getting married until summer 2015, you should really hold of on asking your wedding party until at least summer 2014, if not fall 2014.  If you've already asked your sister to be your MOH, you cannot unask her but with more than two years to go (if your profile is correct) part of her disinterest may be because 2.5 years seems very far away to her.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• GoodLuckBear14 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_need-advice-sister-doesnt-care?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:80ef5512-9fce-4775-94db-cbdbd458ed02Post:193d02ff-43a1-4ff2-a36b-e9e5a8da2b64">Need advice!- Sister doesn't care</a>:
  [QUOTE]I recently got engaged and told my sister. She didn't seem so excited but of course she is my maid of honor. Whenever i bring up wedding stuff she ignores it or bring its about herself. She never asks me anything about my wedding or fiance. I am really hurt because my sister is my twin and we're best friends. However I am the caring sensitive one who loves to be in plans and my sister is only concerned about herself. I don't know how to handle it because when i try to talk to her she laughs or gets mad. 
  Posted by lbelly19[/QUOTE]
  
  You are the caring sensitive one and yet it never crossed your mind that she might feel jealous, scared, abandoned because of everything that is going to change?  Stop talking about yourself and your wedding and see if her mood improves.

  Proud to be an old married hag!!

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• mlg78 member

  

  February 2013

  I agree...she's jealous, sad and just emotional overall that things are changing with you getting married.  Recognize that and be a sister...and a friend...not a bride.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 2013

  This is a good time to realize that although your wedding is a huge important thing in your life, it really isn't a huge deal to most other people until the day of.  Not even your twin.

  
  

  It doesn't mean she's jealous or childish, and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.  It just means that your life is not the primary focus of hers.  No one will ever care about your wedding as much as you will.  

  
  

  With your expectations in check, you'll have a much easier time with the whole wedding planning thing.  

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  February 2013

  Your wedding date is in 2015? No wonder she's not crazy excited. All you should be doing right now is enjoy being engaged. There isn't any wedding detail that needs to be discussed now. 

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• renegade gaucho member

  

  February 2013

  Dude.  Your wedding is more than two years away.  At this point, NO ONE except you cares about it.

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• MayberryAfterMidnight member

  

  February 2013

  Your twin may not be jealous, but it is possible that she's feeling some mixed emotions about you being engaged/the wedding in general. I think marriage can do that for some people. When I told my three best friends from my college about my engagement last year, two of them were excited and supportive, but one of them responded with "Congratulations...I mean, I couldn't imagine getting married right now, but..." Basically, because she couldn't see herself getting married, apparently it felt a bit odd for me to be doing it - even though we're in two very different places in our lives. And, of course, as PP's have said, it could just be that the wedding is 2 1/2 years from now and your sister is reasonably thinking that it's a bit early for her to always be checking in on your weddings plans. Enjoy being engaged and maybe schedule some sister bonding time (during which time, don't bring up the wedding).

  

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• Peledreamsofrain member

  

  February 2013

  OP, sit down and think if you could honestly play constant cheerleader about someone else's event 2 YEARS away.  Be honest with yourself, you would initially say "yay congratulations!', then immediately go "oh, look, I have a life happening right now" and concern yourself with that. 
  
  If your sister could keep up constant super caffienated cheerleader status about an event that isn't even her own for 2 YEARS, she'd have a psychological problem, perhaps needing medication.

  Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten
  
  
  
  
  
  

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