I have a question about what kind of due diligence I am expected to carry out about the food preferences/diets of my guests. As in, how much am I supposed to know/ask?
I don't know of any people with intense food allergies or specific diets coming to my wedding. Since we are doing the food ourselves, I know that I cannot guarantee that it will not be prepared in a kitchen that is free of nuts/soy/gluten/eggs or be prepared in specific pots, unless I am very clear with my people about it.
We're inviting around 250 people. I'm realizing, after reading a few food threads, that many people say to someone's proposed menu, "I wouldn't be able to eat/can't eat that because X" or "you need to have something for people who have X or don't eat Y." So, I'm wondering what the odds are that someone on my guest list may have a dietary issue that I just don't know about. Especially with the growing popularity of things like paleo or gluten-free eating (not talking about people who can't digest gluten for whom this is a lifestyle, not a diet), people could have restrictions (medically or self imposed) that I don't know about.
We are having some vegetarian options (it's a cocktail style buffet reception that starts at 3 in the afternoon and goes til 7), but, as people kept coming out of the woodwork on other threads, I realized we have pretty much nothing vegan. And I can't promise that the knife used to cut the veggies has never been used to cut meat (obviously not at the same time, but that knife has probably been used on an animal product at some point, and then cleaned). Of course, this didn't seem like an issue, because, as far as I know, we have no vegans, but now I'm worried.
So, am I supposed to call all of my guests to find our preferences or allergies or restrictions? Or, do I wait for them to come to me. Since there's no meal choice on the RSVP, they would have to tell me specifically so that I would know to have something there. How far does this go? Do I only need to honor eating styles that stem from medical necessity or deeply held personal convictions, or should I also be catering to simple preference?