Paying for bridesmaid dress

LDubHawksFan · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:dacaf213-51a3-429b-846a-bb3e48652306">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]It just feels like she is singling out my daughter because she does not like me. That makes me feel bad for my child. Even though she is an adult, I still want to protect my babies.
Posted by Momma71511[/QUOTE]

Suspending all of your previous craziness, I can sympathize with a mother doing this, but the fact of the matter is your daughter is grown, and doesn't care herself, so you shouldn't either.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

I feel sorry for Carson, but I feel even more sorry for Momma. Life would be awefully stressful and difficult, being such a hatefilled and negative person who is so comfortable at lashing out at people. Can you imagine how isolated she is? Nobody, not even her own family likes to be around her. That has to seriously suck. It's entirely her own fault, but still an awrful way to live. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

rsanna · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:dacaf213-51a3-429b-846a-bb3e48652306">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]It just feels like she is singling out my daughter because she does not like me. That makes me feel bad for my child. Even though she is an adult, I still want to protect my babies.
Posted by Momma71511[/QUOTE]

Well if you think that is what she is doing, maybe you should make yourself more likeable? Also your daughter is an adult. Adults don't need protection. And you've made it pretty clear that your daughter doesn't seem to care that she isn't wearing the same shoes, and really, no one is going to be paying attention to shoes. They will be paying attetion to your FDIL.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

You are hurting one of your babies terribly. Imagine how horrible you are making him feel by hurting the one he loves. I would never hurt my son this way. I could never be so mean spirited as intentionally to hurt anyone as you are doing.

aurianna · January 2013

I'm still confused as to how you know the bride bought everyone's shoes but your daughter's.

Your daughter told you. How does she know? She asked each bridesmaid who paid for their shoes? If that's the case that's a very awkward thing for your daughter to do.

There's more to that story that you either aren't telling or your daughter isn't telling you.

Maybe the bride offered to take everyone out shoe shopping and your daughter declined and therefore she did not get shoes as she missed the event.

A very plausible reason could also be that the bride knows that all the other bridesmaids are having to pay out of their own pockets whereas your daughter is having her stuff paid for by her momma and she doesn't find it necessary to offer the same financial support.

Maybe the bride bought something else for your daughter that isn't shoes but your daughter forgot to mention it or hasn't received it yet.

Regardless though, that's not your battle to fight.

mcda04 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:b54264aa-809c-427b-97f7-75305a2a258c">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]My daughter told me that she is not having the same shoes as the rest of the bridesmaids. She didn't act out like she is upset about it, but I'm sure she really is.
Posted by Momma71511[/QUOTE]
Nothing in this sentence indicates your FDIL is buying the shoes for them, maybe they all have a similar pair of shoes so they're wearing those.

Just stop creating drama OP. Try to get along with your FDIL and apologize for being so Psychotic.

mcda04 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:3cc33b23-cf40-4016-9da1-1c50ff4be9f7">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Why would this woman's FDIL still be posting her wedding plans on the Knot if she knew her nutty FMIL was running around reading everything she said and then attacking her on the boards? I would stop posting if that was the case with me. I think this is a troll...
Posted by brielleinlove[/QUOTE]

FDIL is a regular and confirmed this is her FI's mom. Momma is just crazy, you really need to go read that post under moms and maids titled "money issues" then you'll understand why OP doesn't have any fans around here.

rin89 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:dacaf213-51a3-429b-846a-bb3e48652306">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]It just feels like she is singling out my daughter because she does not like me. That makes me feel bad for my child. Even though she is an adult, I still want to protect my babies.
Posted by Momma71511[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Based on what you have written here there is no proof that this is happening. Unless I missed something your only "proof" is that your daughter happens to have different shoes from the other girls. I understand wanting to protect your daughter, I really do. But it really doesn't sound like there is anything to protect her from. And as PP's have stated your hurting you son with all of this drama. Does he not matter as much as your daughter?

</div>

Carson386 · January 2013

I will say this once and I don't care if it bites me in the buttstop flipping posting on here!

bopple321 · January 2013

I know that, traditionally, one agrees to take on the costs of the dress and alterations when they accept the role of bridesmaid. That being said, it does not give the Bride the right to go all bridezilla on everyone. If the bridesmiads are really being put in a tough position, they should approach the bride and explain that they can no longer afford her "vision." She can either choose to adjust her expectations or they can step down from being in the wedding party (idk if I'd want to cater to a crazy bride, anyway). Personally, I always thought it was odd (and a little rude) to require someone to pay their hard-earned money for a dress that I'm forcing them to wear because it's my day. I think that Brides should eat the cost of the dresses, alterations, etc for their bridal party. If this means you can't have 16 bridesmaids then so be it! I'm only having one, my very best friend, and I'll be paying for her dress, alterations, hair/makeup, etc because she is doing me the honor of standing with me on my special day.

Sharpschruter22 · January 2013

Momma, you are a lying, manipulative IDIOT! What makes you think we would agree with any of your lies when Carson is our friend? Heaven help you.

bopple321 · January 2013

Wow... I had no idea that this thread had such a complicated backstory! I take back what I said about the bride possibly being a bridezilla. What the heck is going on here?! Do FMIL's really take to the internet to bash brides? My goodness... and here I thought this was ACTUALLY about alteration fees. One of these two needs to get their head on straight!

aurianna · January 2013

OMG. The friends were already INVITED and then the funding was pulled? That is AWFUL.

What an incredibly awkward position you've put the hosts of the wedding in. They either break etiquette by uninviting or they have to eat a huge cost (22 people??) and/or cut back on their children's wedding to accomodate your friends.

You are so lucky your son even still speaks to you.

Carson386 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-for-bridesmaid-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:82857d2e-28d1-4ec1-a2ec-326de29097b3Post:a8e12da7-15ef-4f18-8b09-16168d7fa9e2">Re: Paying for bridesmaid dress</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG. The friends were already INVITED and then the funding was pulled? That is AWFUL. What an incredibly awkward position you've put the hosts of the wedding in. They either break etiquette by uninviting or they have to eat a huge cost (22 people??) and/or cut back on their children's wedding to accomodate your friends. You are so lucky your son even still speaks to you.
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

It wasn't 22 people, that's her story. It was a little less than that. But she did cut the funding, we had the money saved in case that happened so it wasn't a huge deal financially, definitely did not make me a happy camper though.