Honeymoon Registry???

theholograms · February 2012

Okay so I know that I recently posted about Deposit a Gift, and thank you all for your opinions, I do not think we will be doing that. However, what are thoughts on a Honeymoon Registry (in addition to the traditional Macy's, etc...)

If you have done one, which ones did you like the best?

Thanks

KelleyKelz · February 2012

I'm curious about this too. I've seen others mention it...how does it work?

rlavach · February 2012

This question is asked VERY VERY often on here. I’d check out these responses below. A simple forum search will give you some of the billions of other threads opened on this topic.

LINK to STICKY

LINK 2

LINK 3

Edited to fix links.

OBX2011 · February 2012

You'll likely receive the same responses you did for the Deposit A Gift....tacky. HM registries are not thought of too highly on TK.

theholograms · February 2012

There are a few different sites that offer them such as honeymoonwishes (I believe). And you can be as simple or as creative as you'd like. For example, dinner night out, activities, airfare...it seems to really be what you want the site to be. I understand the cash honeymoon registry may come off as tacky because it looks like you are flat out asking for money (although I was thinking of it in different terms). Although it is similar to a cash registry it really is restricted (at least in our minds) solely for the honeymoon.

MyNameIsNot · February 2012

There is a sticky at the top of the board with a lot of opinions on this. In general, they are just disguised cash registries, and most people find them rude.

The thing that really bothers me personally is that they are decietful. You register for a snorkel trip. A guest buys you a snorkel trip for $100. The registry takes a cut (say $5), and then writes you a check for $95. You don't actually get the snorkel trip unless you go buy it (and have to throw in $5).

jagore08 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:8cdd4cf8-9690-4f65-bc07-31f6066b56a2">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious about this too. I've seen others mention it...how does it work?
Posted by KelleyKelz[/QUOTE]
How it works is that they are all cash registries. Your guests will think that they're purchasing a dinner for 2 for $100 at XYZ restaurant. After they give the registry the money, the registry then takes out a percentage of their cut (some do 3% some do 10%) and then give you the rest of the cash for it. So you end of getting $90, because of the 10% fee, of the $100 meal your guests think they purchased for you. You won't get a gift card for $100 to the restaurant, just cash do do what you want with. <div>
</div><div>Bottom line: No site is going to do this for free. They all charge a fee to either you (which the gift giver has no idea about) or they charge the gift giver directly. It's better to tell your guests that you're saving up for _____ and let them directly give you the cash in a card. You can tell them what you did with their generous gift in your thank you card. </div>

theholograms · February 2012

I guess I was just curious about this - I don't care that much about how much money we get at our wedding. We aren't going over our means, using credit cards, or taking out a loan. I was just looking for some registry ideas - but I know the majority of our guests will give us cash/checks anyway (we've been a zillion weddings and that is just how this group is).

amymaysa · February 2012

I answered you on the CT board

jessicabessica · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:b14b6bb2-100b-4fb4-adbd-1bc049684bfa">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I was just curious about this - I don't care that much about how much money we get at our wedding. We aren't going over our means, using credit cards, or taking out a loan. I was just looking for some registry ideas - but I know the majority of our guests will give us cash/checks anyway (we've been a zillion weddings and that is just how this group is).
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

<div>If the majority of guests will give you cash anyway, there is absolutely no reason to consider a cash registry, which I agree is impolite to have. Also, guests that do not want to give cash generally won't think that "buying" you an item from a cash registry is a good substitute for buying a physical gift.</div>

MandaK12 · February 2012

We're using Honeymoon Pixie. Personally, we love it, and our guests have had good reactions, too. I think the key is to make sure you can finance your honeymoon on your own - which is sounds like you definitely can - and also make sure your guests understand how the honeymoon registry works!

DiLynn83 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:8dbad8db-43a9-4764-bd08-d548661994bc">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]We're using Honeymoon Pixie . Personally, we love it, and our guests have had good reactions, too. I think the key is to make sure you can finance your honeymoon on your own - which is sounds like you definitely can - and also make sure your guests understand how the honeymoon registry works!
Posted by MandaK12[/QUOTE]

Every time this subject is brought up on the board, all these regs with thousands of posts give detailed explanations of why HM or cash registries are rude, and without fail, some bride who joined last month pops in to say "HM registries are great and we love ours!!"

I'm not trying to be mean, it just makes me giggle and SMH.

TiffannieF · February 2012

Ok seriously..........................................................

THERE IS A STICKY ON THE TOP OF THIS PAGE THAT SAYS 'THINKING ABOUT A HONEYMOON REGISTRY'

Please, FFS, read the first page of posts before asking a question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

parrothead84 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:78cc45e0-fe55-48c6-b598-e332dd8759db">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok seriously.......................................................... THERE IS A STICKY ON THE TOP OF THIS PAGE THAT SAYS 'THINKING ABOUT A HONEYMOON REGISTRY' Please, FFS, read the first page of posts before asking a question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

LOL. You read my mind!

Viczaesar · February 2012

I don't understand or appreciate people trying to force their friends and family to give them cash. People who want to give you straight up money will give it to you without you strong arming them. People who don't want to give you cash will not give it to you whether or not you try to force them into it. It just makes you (general you) look like a douche to try to manipulate your friends who don't want to give you cash into giving you cash.

theholograms · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:78cc45e0-fe55-48c6-b598-e332dd8759db">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok seriously.......................................................... THERE IS A STICKY ON THE TOP OF THIS PAGE THAT SAYS 'THINKING ABOUT A HONEYMOON REGISTRY' Please, FFS, read the first page of posts before asking a question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

I did look through that AND saw it! I was trying to gather some other people's opinions...no need to be rude.

TiffannieF · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:be7922a6-46c6-44a3-b709-182031b45a1a">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry??? : I did look through that AND saw it! I was trying to gather some other people's opinions...no need to be rude.
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

Interesting because you got the same EXACT responses as everybody else who has answered this question.

And I think its pretty rude for you to ask a redundant question that is asked multiple times in one page of posts. You want nice advice, do a little research first.

hoffse · February 2012

Please don't do this. Not everybody wants to give you cash. People especially don't want to give you cash when a random company takes a cut out of it. And I don't know why brides who anticipate getting cash anyway would actually sign up for one of these... because instead of getting $100 that you can cash right away you have to wait for $92 to make it to your mailbox from the company. This just seems dumb to me.

theholograms · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:36632fac-8fdd-4e81-be54-7277be182b9c">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry??? : Interesting because you got the same EXACT responses as everybody else who has answered this question. And I think its pretty rude for you to ask a redundant question that is asked multiple times in one page of posts. You want nice advice, do a little research first.
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

<div>Well I wouldn't really know that unless I asked would I? No one is telling you to post things to my question. If you feel it is a redundant question - don't waste your time answering. Simple.as.that.</div>

Ali092011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-registry-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:7bdfdab7-a339-4d96-8166-fac78341c9b2Post:91eae6e4-59d3-4837-bc1d-92a59437f4f5">Re: Honeymoon Registry???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry??? : Well I wouldn't really know that unless I asked would I? No one is telling you to post things to my question. If you feel it is a redundant question - don't waste your time answering. Simple.as.that.
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

Sometimes people feel they are being treated harshly on these boards. I get that. But the one thing that gets to everyone here is the impression you give that you (or whoever posts questions about HRs or cash registries) feel that your situation is somehow different than everyone else's. It's not necessarily that we hate repeat questions, it's that there's always some excuse, even though the excuse never flies. Brides say, "Well our situation is different because we've already lived together for ten years!" or "I swear, we're ONLY asking for money for our honeymoon, we're not asking guests to pay for wedding stuff!" or "We did a HR because my FI is a police officer" (that last one is a true story--someone here actually used that as a reason for their HR).

Everyone here lives on some kind of a budget. Everyone here could use extra cash. Your situation or your reason for wanting cash is not going to make people change their minds about etiquette.

I don't mean that as a personal attack on you. I just want you to understand why regs like Tiffanie get frustrated at posts like this. :)

theholograms · February 2012

@ Ali092011 I totally understand - it isn't so much that I think my situation is different. I mean yes we are in our 30's, yes we already own a home and have been living together for 5 yrs, but that wasn't the main reason I posted it. New people join theknot all the time, so I was just looking for other people's opinions other than what had already been answered (and yes I saw the police officer one lol!) I did do my research and looked at other people's questions - and absolutely knew that I would get some harsh comments about a HM registry - which is fine by me - I'm asking for the opinions after all. I just didn't appreciate someone telling me to do my research and not post a relevant question under the correct board. If someone is a regular and is on a lot, or has been for several years, then I don't understand why that person wouldn't skip over the question instead of insulting someone for asking it. That's all, I didn't take it as a personal attack.

meagkcal62 · March 2012

Truthfully I don't see the difference between asking for pots and pans and asking for dinner or something on your honeymoon. You're still requesting a gift. Who cares what these people think are rude or not - do what you want.

We are using honeyfund and how it works is you post "items" online all set up like a regular registry would look. Your guests can decide what they want to buy you - say a tour of the city - they can choose to pay via cash, check or paypal (which does charge a fee). Then the site lets them print a certificate and they give you that along with the cash/check. There is no money going to the site - the site is absolutely free to you. It is paid for through advertising, so you will see that on your page unless you upgrade (which we did just for fun). The paypal goes directly to your paypal account if you choose to use that option. Make sure you do a lot of research because there are some sites that take a fee, but Honeyfund does not. Good luck!!

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