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no first dance?

defstar82defstar82 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
my fiance refuses to do a first dance. he's so shy and nervous about the ceremony and reception in the first place, it took a lot to get him to agree to more than a justice of the peace or Vegas wedding! he has anxiety issues in front of crowds, even people he knows. he's already doing the ceremoney and reception for 120+ people for me, and I feel like the first dance isn't that big of a deal to skip. my maid of honor however, is horrified and will NOT stop harassing me that I need to get him to agree to do the dance. I don't think its that big of a deal, and to be honest I hate dancing anyway. we're already not doing the mother/son and father/daughter dance, due to family issues. will people think this is a huge deal if we skip this?
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Re: no first dance?

  • luckyme502luckyme502 member
    1000 Comments
    If both of you are comfortable with the decision, that is all that matters!
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Tell your MOH she can do whatever she wants at her own wedding.  You've decided what you're doing at yours.  And then tell her you won't discuss it again.  If she brings it up on the phone, remind her that you said you weren't discussing it, and hang up.  If she brings it up again on the phone, simply hang up.

    If she brings it up in person, remind her (one time only) that you're not discussing it, and then leave the room.  If she brings it up at a subsequent get together, just leave.

    It's not her wedding, it's yours.  You and your FI have made a decision that suits both of you (hooray for you!) and how she needs to back off.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Oh, and no, I don't think people will mind.  Well, except your MOH.  >(
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • JMU_Bride09JMU_Bride09
    500 Comments
    You will probably get some people who may think it's odd, but honestly, it's your wedding.  Perhaps make sure that your wedding party is prepared with an answer when guests start asking when the first dance will be during the reception.  That way no one is bugging you or making a big fuss about it.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its

    I've been to a few weddings with no first dance.  The only thing that seemed off was that usually the end of the formal dances give the guests the hint that they can now get up and dance.  Some of the no-dance weddings I've been to had some pretty awkward moments because guests didn't know if they were waiting for the first dance or not.

    I would suggest having your band or DJ make an announcement inviting guests to get up and dance.  After that, no one will give it a second thought.

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  • leandralonaleandralona member
    10 Comments

    My FI isn't much of a dancer, but he loves video games. He also likes mostly alternative music (none of the slow stuff). So instead of a first dance, we're having a first song. We're setting a tv on a low table in the middle of the dance floor and our first song will be a song that we play together on rockband. It's something he's really good at and something that is simpe enough for me to do.

    The reason for the tv being in the middle of the dance floor is so thatwe'll get good photos of the front of us while we play.

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