Maid of Honor

Melissa&Jeffrey · October 2010

What are your views on maid of honor? My beautiful younger sister is 17. I am not sure if she will be 18 by the date of the wedding since there is no date set. Is that too young for all the responsibility? Thank you.

bablingbrooke · October 2010

What "responsibility" do you intend to heap on her?

SaraAndrew2010 · October 2010

All of what responsibilities? All she really has to do is get a dress and stand up with you on the wedding day.

Yes, it's nice if an MOH volunteers to help with some of the wedding details or plans a shower/bachelorette party. However, none of those things are really required. If you want your sister to be your MOH, you shouldn't exclude her because you don't think she'll be able to take on a lot of work for you.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

Responsibilities of the MOH:

- acquire the appropriate dress
- stand next to the bride
- fluff her train
- hold her bouquet
- hold the groom's ring
- give a toast at the reception
- sign the marriage license

And really, only the first two are absolutely necessary, and any legal adult can sign the license as a witness if that's necessary. So there's absolutely no reason why your sister couldn't perform the duties of MOH.

The Mel and Todd Show · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:f0c18646-e117-4b6d-b8da-92e1f8df9ab1">Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]What are your views on maid of honor? My beautiful younger sister is 17. I am not sure if she will be 18 by the date of the wedding since there is no date set. Is that too young for all the responsibility? Thank you.
Posted by Melissa&Jeffrey[/QUOTE]

If she can handle purchasing (or having your parents purchase on her behalf) a dress and standing still for a short period of time, she fits the bill.

You ought to set a date before you ask anyone to be in your wedding party, however. You are asking someone to stand up for you on a specific day, and they can't accurately answer that question without knowing the date on which this will occur. When (month/year) are you thinking of having it?

stina93446 · October 2010

She can be your MOH because there are no responsibilities. She's only required to get the dress, smile, and have a good time. How hard is that?! If she's the closest person to you, she should be your MOH.

MyNameIsNot · October 2010

Ditto what everyone else said. The only possible issue I see is that a MOH sometimes witnesses the marriage license, and the witness usually has to be 18, so you'd have to ask a BM or someone else to do that if she isn't 18 yet.

But really, you should wait until you set a date and get within 9 months of it before you make any decisions about WP.

There are no WP responsibilities. The sooner you get that crap out of your head, the happier you'll be.

gottahavashorti · October 2010

[QUOTE]Ditto what everyone else said. The only possible issue I see is that a MOH sometimes witnesses the marriage license, and the witness usually has to be 18, so you'd have to ask a BM or someone else to do that if she isn't 18 yet.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
This. Although where we got married, only the officiant had to sign. DH and I did not.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:adb5f99e-e647-42c9-b612-629b4164c41f">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you plan on her throwing you a party and etc. you need to make sure she is financially capable of doing it!
Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]

*headdesk*

UGHHHHH

I have no real words for this.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:adb5f99e-e647-42c9-b612-629b4164c41f">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you plan on her throwing you a party and etc. you need to make sure she is financially capable of doing it!
Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]
You don't plan on anyone throwing you a party. If they choose to do it, awesome. If they don't, that's fine too. But you don't have any say in the matter, period.

tldh · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:adb5f99e-e647-42c9-b612-629b4164c41f">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you plan on her throwing you a party and etc. you need to make sure she is financially capable of doing it!
Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]

A person's bank account should be taken into consideration only when deciding on the dress and never on things you expect for yourself, which by the way, you shouldn't be expecting in the first place.

MyNameIsNot · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:adb5f99e-e647-42c9-b612-629b4164c41f">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you plan on her throwing you a party and etc. you need to make sure she is financially capable of doing it!
Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]

<div>You don't plan on other people throwing you parties. </div><div>
</div><div>A party for you is a gift to you. Under what context would you ever think it was ok to plan a gift from someone else? </div>

mbcdefg · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:c1348b34-2298-4089-8bc6-6665e865ed54">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]How will she tag along for your bachelorette party?? O.o
Posted by rxjen[/QUOTE]

Whoever plans it might choose to plan something where a 17-18 year-old can attend (dinner, spa day, handbag-making class, dance class, etc.).

But that's something for the OP to not worry about. It's not up to her whether or not she gets a bachelorette party. If someone wants to throw her one, she will ... and if not, she won't, and OP won't get one.

If the hostess asks what the bride wants to do, Bride can reply, "I'd prefer to do something that my sister can attend."

trix1223 · October 2010

To answer your question: yes, your (soon to be) 18 year old sister can be your MOH. For all the reasons you were given above.

ashes: you're sounding terribly entitled with your post. And it's not attractive.

rxjen: believe it or not: b-parties don't have to be drunken raunch-fests to be a b-party. Both my DIL and DD had b-parties that they loved. Neither one involved excessive drinking or raunchy activities.

deb84 · October 2010

I am pretty sure rxjen was being sarcastic, but I could be wrong.

OP: YES, she can be your MOH. Your bridal party should be those people who mean the most to you. End of story.

Also, PLEASE don't ask them until closer to the wedding. That is asking for disaster.

lalap69 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:adb5f99e-e647-42c9-b612-629b4164c41f">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]If you plan on her throwing you a party and etc. you need to make sure she is financially capable of doing it!
Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]
Yes, I suggest asking potential-MOH to submit a full proposal complete with bank statements and pay stubs in her application to be your MOH. In fact, I think you should get all of your friends to submit tenders! Then you just have to choose the best bid!

bablingbrooke · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:3f5c927c-4f9d-4215-b4e3-cc3dd986bce7">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor : Yes, I suggest asking potential-MOH to submit a full proposal complete with bank statements and pay stubs in her application to be your MOH. In fact, I think you should get all of your friends to submit tenders! Then you just have to choose the best bid!
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]
I hear that's not a bad way to pick your FI either ;)

lalap69 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-of-honor-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c75b6864-29d3-4441-bec3-1aecff7e5880Post:87145505-9f6c-4196-863c-cb414cb3b903">Re: Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maid of Honor : I hear that's not a bad way to pick your FI either ;)
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]
Are you kidding? That's the way I did it! It's where I got the idea!

Soon2BMrsClay · November 2010

the only issue with her being underage would be signing the marriage license. Other than that...I'm sure your sister is perfectly capable of standing next to you on your big day

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