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Getting his friends to accept "us'.

bergiesbridebergiesbride
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
We have been dating for over 2 years. He asked me to marry him over Christmas. Now his life long friends and their spouses have grown slightly cold towards me. Is it because of his awful marriage to his first wife that they all know and dislike for hurting him, but recently have seen her as the lessor of two evils? Or is it because his 19 year old son hates every bone in my body, and seems to think mommy and daddy will someday get back together? Is it because I have children from my previous marriage and they all believe he is now strapped with them? Or is it because we share a lovely baby girl and they all think it was in a sad attempt to keep him? Ofcourse noone dares admit any of this to him, they just "imply' it towards me. He thinks his friends are ok with me. His family does love me and is excited about our marriage, should this be enough? I am so lost, and have even thought of postponing our Aug. 2010 wedding, in fear of that one person standing up and saying why we shouldnt be doing this!  Any solid advice?
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Re: Getting his friends to accept "us'.

  • bergiesbridebergiesbride
    First Comment
    It's amazing how people respond. You should go back and put on your reading glasses dear. Never did I once say his friends didn't like me, and never did I describe myself..
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Gee, you don't think that saying you're a divorcee with children from your previous marriage and another with your FI is describing yourself? Or that I don't get a general view of your character based on the disrespectful way you speak about your FI's son? And if his friends like you, then why won't they accept you?

    My reading comprehension is just fine, thankyouverymuch.
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  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    We can only go by what you tell us. If you think they hate you because you're strapping your children to him and trapping him in a marriage, you were the one thinking it first, not us.

    If he has a 19 year old son, aren't you old enough to not give ashit what his friends think of you?

    Is there a reason wife numero uno was the lesser of two evils? Do you beat him or something?
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_getting-his-friends-accept?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d51a0cfa-8142-4674-b7e1-369554fdcd83Post:befc8af6-07b5-4350-ae45-adf01df79aac">Re: Getting his friends to accept "us'.</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's amazing how people respond. You should go back and put on your reading glasses dear. Never did I once say his friends didn't like me, and never did I describe myself..
    Posted by bergiesbride[/QUOTE]

    You know, I was on your side, until I read your response, above.  Now I think I may have an idea of why his friends don't like--oh, no, sorry, SORRY!--"are slightly cold" to you.  (Because coldness =/= dislike, right?  I don't know where Duckis would have gotten that idea.)  Because you come off as a defensive, condescending, snippy trainwreck.  

    I hope he comes to his senses and calls it off.  He can do better. 
    �
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  • psichickpsichick
    1000 Comments
    you sound like a real peach.

    here's something to think about........when a whole group of people don't like you, there's a reason. and no it's not them.
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