Am I being completely ridiculous?

sprinklesnsparkles · August 2010

Also, for what it's worth, my FI's cousin (whom we are very close to) ended up picking the exact same day as us at the same time that we picked it. No one realized it until we both talked about it. We laughed and my FI and I changed our date. Now we are having a ton of fun planning together rather than figuring it all out on our own. No big deal.

BrilhanteBride · August 2010

Yes.

kpwedkk · August 2010

It's like how you get one birthday, you couldn't predetermine when you were going to come out and cry in the world. You get an hour of a day to join as Mr and Mrs, like millions of people in the world. It matters what attitude you have, if you are going to make a big deal out of it, then when guests get wind of it, they might not make it your wedding, and go to the other one instead.

Smile, take it in, and realize that on your wedding date, that you determined with your fiance, and family, that day, is when you are getting married. Don't care about the other weddings, except that you are attending them... Since they are in close relation to you, take the opportunity to be friends, life is too short to make enemies! You might have until 100 years old, or more, is that enough time to hold a grudge, just because someone stole your month?

We had two weddings before ours in the same month, we weren't mad, it was just another chance to perfect our dance moves or lack thereof

LuluP82 · August 2010

Coming late to this...but you're also getting married in July, making her wedding in June. Those are like the most popular months for weddings. Maybe she always wanted to get married in the summer, too. What was she to do, wait an entire year to get married just so you could have your whole year uninterrupted?

Noellesmama · August 2010

Yes you are!

You could always move the wedding date up a month or two before hers ;o) LOL...that would end that battle...most likely not.

FYI- that last statement was completely meant to be sarcastic!

palrmt · August 2010

It really sounds like your FI is using your wedding as a way to finally outshine his sister, which is the first problem. There are definitely some deeper issues there that need to be addressed but using their respective weddings is not the way to do it. Your wedding should be about the two of you committing yourself to each other for the rest of your lives. And what everyone else has said is true - you only get one day. Not a month or a season or a year. One DAY. Thats it. When that day is over then everyone goes back to regular life and you are no longer the center of attention.
Also if this really is such a problem for your FI then why dont the two of you move your wedding date up so that it would be before his sister. She is under absolutely no obligation to move her wedding date. End of story

I'm sure as you read these you are surprised at most people's reactions. But the fact of the matter is that it doesn't really matter if his sister was given special treatment or not. A wedding or in this case weddings is not the place to try and rectify a lifetime of issues. In fact I would be seriously insulted if my FI was more concerned about outshining his sister than what the day is supposed to be mean.

eshaufle · August 2010

I can see both sides to this. While I agree that it won't affect your actual DAY, I do understand that a wedding is a fun process in a family and that process takes place outside your actual wedding day.

I would just let it go...the only reason I'm saying this is because it doesn't really look like your FSIL is going to budge or consider your point of view. Look at the silver lining, which is you can learn from her wedding's mistakes and if there are any creepy relatives on their side of the family, maybe they'll only be able to come to the first! :-)

Keep in mind though that few people get faced with this problem while getting married...I really don't think friends and cousins count as real examples of your problem so while the responses may seem overwhelming on this board...you can't help but feel the way you feel. Siblings are a little more personal and I'm sure you and your FH have grown close to each other's families over time and it feels no different than if your own sister were doing this. I don't envy the situation but do hope you have a great wedding despite this setback that I assure you will be a non-issue in the grand scheme of things!!

DavidandAmyClark · August 2010

I think you need to get over this. Demonizing the sister is not going to help anybody.

You said you wanted to hear similar situations and i kind of have one....

My MOH set her date a month after mine (I set my date first, but she got engaged first) so I will be waiting to honeymoon (this is one of many reasons, we are also planning a LONG honeymoon.) She called me up and said they set a date and I was a little irked at first and then I realized how much fun it will be to get married at the same time! I love talking weddings with her all the time, hers and mine.

Recently, my FI's cousin got engaged and they are getting married like right after us about 2 weeks, frankly I am excited since a bunch of OOT family will not be coming to our wedding so they can save money for her. I was struggling to knock down our guest list, so I am all about it, but I think the FI is a little bummed more of his family isn't gonna show...He put his big boy pants on and delt with it.

You really need to let his go, it will be fine your wedding will still be special and beautiful, even if your FSIL got married the day before. ...

Am I being completely ridiculous?

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