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October 2012 Weddings
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Wedding music

CreyoCreyo
100 Comments
in October 2012 Weddings
Hi! My mom and I were talking about the wedding music saturday and I'm pretty bummed. I know she is tryin to be supportive, but she hates everything Ive picked for the wedding along w the music. I'm letting her basically do the ceremony since she wanted us to have readings and a unity candle and an aisle runner all of which I don't see the point of but she doesn't like the music ive picked for the ceremony. It would be "come what may" from mulan rouge for the wedding party and "marry me" by train for my enterance. She flat out said no for smashmouths "I'm a believer" for the recessional bc it's in a church.that's the excuse, but I don't think that matters we are just different. She wanted trumpet and organ music, but we want fun pretty music. Wedding planning is no fun when I know she dislikes everything...
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Re: Wedding music

  • snuff9861snuff9861 member
    1000 Comments
    What does your church say about your choices in music? I know mine in particular is very picky about the types of music to be played. If I want popular music, there cannot be any words.
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  • jsarver14jsarver14 member
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    I agree with snuff. Make sure you ask your church for their guidelines. However, I feel the ceremony is the most personal part of the day. It should be reflective of you and your future husband.
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  • kimm260kimm260
    500 Comments
    I agree about asking the church if they have any restrictions on types of music that can be played.  If there are no restrictions about music tell your mom why you chose the music that you and your fiance did.  Explain to her that you are fine with the elements she chose but you really can't budge on the music because it is important to you and your FI.
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  • achiduckachiduck member
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    Definitely ask the church about music restrictions. You wouldn't want to get your heart set on something only to find out at the rehearsal that it's not allowed.

    Have you considered play stuff by Vitamin String Quartet. They take popular music and and play it so you get the classical sound mixed with a modern song. It might be a happy compromise for you and your mom.
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  • halij52002halij52002
    100 Comments

    Um, it's my wedding so I'm going to play what my fiance and I would like. Thank you for your suggestions though. :) That is what I would say.

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  • lenergyrlahlenergyrlah member
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    Tell your mom that you don't like the traditional organ music, and that it's your wedding.  If she's paying for the musicians then I guess she has some say, but if you're sticking it all on a CD and having a friend press "play" (or paying for the DJ yourself) then you should be able to pick the music.  I would just stop discussing it with her.
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  • Simply_CaitlinSimply_Caitlin member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    Who is paying?
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  • jsarver14jsarver14 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_wedding-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:61cc006c-9502-4807-a829-09fb555a9282Post:345bb44d-8f32-42ce-88cf-03bd00606ff1">Re: Wedding music</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is paying?
    Posted by Simply_Caitlin[/QUOTE]

    I mean no disrespect, but I feel this response is so overplayed. Granted, if parents are paying (or helping to pay) they should have some say in what is done. That being said, it does not give them full privilege to everything. It's not THEIR wedding, it's YOUR wedding. Certain things about a wedding are personal (vows, ceremony music, etc) and I feel they should be reflective of the couple, not the parents.
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  • snuff9861snuff9861 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_wedding-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:61cc006c-9502-4807-a829-09fb555a9282Post:536396cf-5147-4b23-b505-7fc16622bcdd">Re: Wedding music</a>:
    [QUOTE]Definitely ask the church about music restrictions. You wouldn't want to get your heart set on something only to find out at the rehearsal that it's not allowed. <strong>Have you considered play stuff by Vitamin String Quartet</strong>. They take popular music and and play it so you get the classical sound mixed with a modern song. It might be a happy compromise for you and your mom.
    Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

    That's what I'm playing. I had to compromise with the church. We originally going to have a full mass, but would have had to have live music. Took out communion and voila I get my VSQ back!
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  • CreyoCreyo
    100 Comments
    I emailed the pastor of the church and asked. That will help with that. Good idea there :)

    My parents are paying for the wedding. I'm trying to get mom's a lot, its just her and me planning since fi is busy and bridesmaids are all out of state. I feel like the wedding music should be personal to us though. It's already a lot of extra stuff that we didn't plan. 
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  • Simply_CaitlinSimply_Caitlin member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_wedding-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:61cc006c-9502-4807-a829-09fb555a9282Post:52aa7e15-c570-4b65-a848-535aae892e99">Re: Wedding music</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding music : I mean no disrespect, but I feel this response is so overplayed. Granted, if parents are paying (or helping to pay) they should have some say in what is done. That being said, it does not give them full privilege to everything. It's not THEIR wedding, it's YOUR wedding. Certain things about a wedding are personal (vows, ceremony music, etc) and I feel they should be reflective of the couple, not the parents.
    Posted by jsarver14[/QUOTE]

    I only ask because if the bride and groom are paying for the wedding, that's the end of the discussion right there.  Unfortunately some people believe that because they're paying for the wedding, their opinion holds more weight.  And while if your parents are paying, it should, it should not be the deciding factor.  I don't believe that because someone else pays for the wedding it becomes their wedding and they get to do it their way, but it becomes a trickier conversation with some parents.
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