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Not sure about this wedding

twardricktwardrick
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I am the Maid of Honor for my cousins wedding. For a long time, she said that if she ever got married, I was automatically the Maid of Honor. At first I was okay, but now I am not sure if I even want to be in the wedding. I would still help her with planning the wedding and getting the venues together and whatever else she would need help with, but being in the actual wedding, I'm not so sure if I want to be bothered. Am I wrong for not wanting to be in the wedding or should I just suck it up and keep going?
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Re: Not sure about this wedding

  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How is being in the wedding party "bothersome?"
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  • twardricktwardrick
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, its the fact that I just don't want to do this. But this is my cousin and I love her, but I just don't want to right now.
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  • lindseyann410lindseyann410 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, this doesn't make any sense to me.  You say you love your cousin, you've already agreed to do it, and you haven't given any reason NOT to do it.

    "I just don't wanna" is a very lame excuse.  What's the real deal?  Because there has to be some reason, otherwise that would be juvenile.  

    Please explain.
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  • NicnJen01NicnJen01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What's wrong?  I hope you're ok..  I know that so much goes on and then all this pressure..... and it"s not even you day..... what did you think it would be?  What did you want it to be?  what do you think you should talk to your cuz about?  I think that she picked you to be MOH because your special..... think about  what is making you think you're  not.
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  • twardricktwardrick
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can't afford it right now financially. I am on unemployment, looking for another gig trying to take care of three kids and trying to stay ahead of my bills. My man takes care of the household, I don't want to add anymore stress onto him by telling him about money that I need for a dresses and gifts and whatever else the bride may require of me on her special day or anytime before that day. It wouldn't be like this if I had a job. 
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-sure-this-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:83096ade-7392-4acd-945e-639deb7cbb19Post:0cd740b1-6083-42db-a078-f31d1b8fbb0a">Re: Not sure about this wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't afford it right now financially. I am on unemployment, looking for another gig trying to take care of three kids and trying to stay ahead of my bills. My man takes care of the household, I don't want to add anymore stress onto him by telling him about money that I need for a dresses and gifts and whatever else the bride may require of me on her special day or anytime before that day. It wouldn't be like this if I had a job. 
    Posted by twardrick[/QUOTE]

    You need to tell her this and then gently decline.  Your last post explains things a lot more.  With no job right now and a family to take care of she should understand.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-sure-this-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:83096ade-7392-4acd-945e-639deb7cbb19Post:0cd740b1-6083-42db-a078-f31d1b8fbb0a">Re: Not sure about this wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't afford it right now financially. I am on unemployment, looking for another gig trying to take care of three kids and trying to stay ahead of my bills. My man takes care of the household, I don't want to add anymore stress onto him by telling him about money that I need for a dresses and gifts and whatever else the bride may require of me on her special day or anytime before that day. It wouldn't be like this if I had a job. 
    Posted by twardrick[/QUOTE]

    I agree with kmmsg.

    These are completely valid reasons.  Talk to your cousin, see what she says. 

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  • StacyJennigesStacyJenniges
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP and think you should tell your cousin these things.  If my MOH had told me that she couldn't do it for financial reasons I would have actually asked her if she would be my MOH if I paid for her dress, and made sure she knew that she was not required to buy me gifts.   I would understand if it was a pride issue but I would definatly put the offer out there. 

    I hope that you find a job soon. 
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
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  • lindseyann410lindseyann410 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    See, you should have just said that in the first place.  That's much more reasonable than saying you just don't want to.

    Tell your cousin.  I'm sure she'll understand.  Good luck!
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  • twardricktwardrick
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks.
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