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Not Engaged Yet
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The BF caught me off-guard
It's been about a month since I hounded the BF about getting engaged. We are sooooooooooooo much happier now that I got over my little engagement tantrum.
That being said, it really surprised me this past weekend when my BF called and told me that he asked one of his friends to be a groomsman in our wedding. Even in my insane thoughts of engagement obsession I never picked out bridesmaids, let alone asked them.
He talked to his new groomsman about our wedding and marrying me and was very proud when he told me about it. He was also excited about someday buying a house with me.
I am still very dumbfounded by this. He has talked about wanting to marry me, but never anything like this, with details. It didn't get me excited about a potential proposal, just shocked the poo out of me.
Has anyone else had a strange BF occurence like this?
That being said, it really surprised me this past weekend when my BF called and told me that he asked one of his friends to be a groomsman in our wedding. Even in my insane thoughts of engagement obsession I never picked out bridesmaids, let alone asked them.
He talked to his new groomsman about our wedding and marrying me and was very proud when he told me about it. He was also excited about someday buying a house with me.
I am still very dumbfounded by this. He has talked about wanting to marry me, but never anything like this, with details. It didn't get me excited about a potential proposal, just shocked the poo out of me.
Has anyone else had a strange BF occurence like this?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The BF caught me off-guard
I don't think it's a huge deal in the scheme of things, and as I doubt he stalks The Knot or any other wedding information (tell him to check out ThePlunge - it's the funny guy's version), he probably doesn't know that it's just "not done" to invite groomsmen before you're engaged. That said, guys typically have less drama in their friendships than girls, so chances are they'll still be friends by the time you get married. Still, you should gently tell him that the next person he invites to participate in his future wedding should probably be the bride, since as of right now he's not planning a wedding at all.
[QUOTE]It's exciting, and definitely means he's thinking about getting married. But the first person he needs to ask is you! If my BF did that, I'd definitely be a little confused, and would probably joke around and go, "Oh, that's so awesome that you have a groomsman! And who are you marrying? This is news to me!" I don't think it's a huge deal in the scheme of things, and as I doubt he stalks The Knot or any other wedding information (tell him to check out ThePlunge - it's the funny guy's version), he probably doesn't know that it's just "not done" to invite groomsmen before you're engaged. That said, guys typically have less drama in their friendships than girls, so chances are they'll still be friends by the time you get married. <strong>Still, you should gently tell him that the next person he invites to participate in his future wedding should probably be the bride, since as of right now he's not planning a wedding at all.
</strong>Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
Yepp, this exactly. I mean, I guess what's done is done, but that is odd.
My suggestion is not to ask anyone to be in your WP... and tell him to do the same... I'd explain to him that until you're engaged and have begun planning, it's a bad idea to be asking people to be in the wedding party... things change... All my life I thought that my BFF would be my Maid of Honor... she assumes the same... If I were to get married tomorrow, she'd be in for a VERY rude awakening...
Also, don't get too excited, my BF asked me who I'd want to be in our WP randomly over the summer... It's January and we're not even close to engaged...
[QUOTE]My suggestion is not to ask anyone to be in your WP... and tell him to do the same... I'd explain to him that <strong>until you're engaged and have begun planning, it's a bad idea to be asking people to be in the wedding party... things change... All my life I thought that my BFF would be my Maid of Honor... she assumes the same... If I were to get married tomorrow, she'd be in for a VERY rude awakening...</strong> Also, don't get too excited, my BF asked me who I'd want to be in our WP randomly over the summer... It's January and we're not even close to engaged...
Posted by LyzMcFlyz[/QUOTE]
Hahaha this reminds me of a situation I'm in right now.
We took a short road trip this weekend, and BF starts out a converstion with: "I still want to get married in September like we talked about."
This is what he said to break the silence, while I was doing a crossword puzzle on my Kindle. *headscratch*
In his defense, the bartender at our favorite watering hole was aggrvating him the night before about us not being engaged.
I told him I didn't want to pressure him, but it's mid-January, and I'm not planning without being engaged, so we may not be able to make that happen.
Just explain to him the whole cart-horses thing.
[QUOTE]Wrkn, you can do crosswords on Kindles?
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]
Yup. There's NY Times ones you can buy.
ETA: There's all kinds of games. I have a couple of word games and Blackjack. I"m putting off buying scrabble. I love the games, but they keep me from reading. I'm still not far in to TGWTDT.
FI was doing the cart before the horse thing a bit by continuing to scope out venues before we were engaged. I finally gave him my best NEY cart-horse lecture, and then he stopped. (Of course we got engaged pretty soon after that.)
I haz a planning bio
[QUOTE]Oh man. I just checked out ThePlunge! I can't wait to link my FI to it. He signed up for WeddingWire because he thought TK was too girly, but he still feels weird logging on! I bet he'll really appreciate seeing a guy-friendly wedding site.
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]
I just sent my fiance over, he's going to love it.
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