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Sexless marriage

TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
500 Comments
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I have been married for 16 years and can count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have had sex. For the first five months of our relationship sex was frequent and passionate. Then I got the engagement ring and the excuses started. I married him because he was the love of my life and hoped things would get better after the stress of planning a wedding was behind us. I was also in my mid-30s and wanted children. The honeymoon was a huge disappointment. Our two children were conceived through IVF. We have been in counseling, but at this point, I’m not attracted to him anymore. He is kind, smart, funny, and a great provider. He is a fabulous father and he and our young teenage twins would be devastated if we divorced. In five years, the twins will be in college. Do I leave him after the kids go and try to find someone else? Or stay and live in a comfortable but platonic marriage?

—Too Good to Go, Too Bad to Stay

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Re: Sexless marriage

  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    why would you have a kid through IVF if you have a relationship so broken?

    Nevermind, I know the answer to that is "people are dumb"

    But how the hell do youjustify the cost and invasiveness of IVF for no good reason?
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    This brings to mind NOLA's article from yesterday - she wanted kids, so she settled. 
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm with Dan Savage: Cheat. Or ask the husband to open up the marriage. But she says she loves him and is fond of him, just that there's no sex. 
    image
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  • Knottie_22389081Knottie_22389081
    I'm sure a bunch of y'all are in this type of marriage ;P
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    ^This is just getting annoying now.
    �
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sexless-marriage-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:41cd827c-a7af-49ec-b162-2c0f82da9024Post:c8367469-4768-4c9b-a6b3-2171f09a406a">Re:Sexless marriage</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sure a bunch of y'all are in this type of marriage ;P
    Posted by flanyta2grl[/QUOTE]

    <div>that's doubtful given the level of pantslessness around these parts. </div>
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  • TheMrsC23TheMrsC23 member
    500 Comments
    Another one?  Christ on a cracker.  I can't keep up with all of these different personalities. 
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  • FlaNYtattoogirlFlaNYtattoogirl member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sexless-marriage-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:41cd827c-a7af-49ec-b162-2c0f82da9024Post:c8367469-4768-4c9b-a6b3-2171f09a406a">Re:Sexless marriage</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sure a bunch of y'all are in this type of marriage ;P
    Posted by flanyta2grl[/QUOTE]

    THIS ISN'T ME!!!!
    Report Reply
  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_sexless-marriage-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:41cd827c-a7af-49ec-b162-2c0f82da9024Post:1120dc73-48ea-4565-b0cf-ba9335123748">Re:Sexless marriage</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Sexless marriage : THIS ISN'T ME!!!!
    Posted by FlaNYtattoogirl[/QUOTE]

    And it isn't 8-8-12 flany either, right?  ::yawn::
    Report Reply
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    Hey all you flany's out there, I have plenty of teh sechs.
    image
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    This better not be me!  I'm doing the whole waiting until marriage thing, and when I get married there had better be plenty of sex to make up for it!
    I wonder if this guy has medical issues or something that makes him have a low libido.  But it seems weird that they had frequence sex when they started seeing each other in that case.

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