I'm MOH in my sister's wedding, that is in 37 days. She put me in charge of the bachelorette party and bridal shower, and I told the bridesmaids I had a handle on it. One of the bridesmaids in particular has basically taken over; for example, I told her that I invited everyone for the bachelorette party, and she e-mails me telling me she's basically gone behind me to talk to everyone on the list to get their RSVP (and I already had all of them but 2). She's also taking over the bridal shower, which is stressing out both me and my mom. I feel like there are way too many cooks in the kitchen and these girls don't know when to back off and let me handle things. I delegated reservation duty to this girl -- not to check behind me about RSVPs. Another girl is responsible for decorations and has been pretty good about letting me lead. I'm about to lose it; now this BM has my sister irritated and stressed out, and my sister is taking it all out on me. Help!!!!
Re: MOH getting overrun by bridesmaids
I agree though, that the BM should not have pestered the guests for their RSVPs.
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Did you confront this BM about her doing this and you thinking it's rude? You are the MOH and if you said you would take on the responsibilties you can tell her to "backoff" but expect to get feedback on why she did it. She might have thought you weren't putting in enough effort ot getting it done fast enough. maybe she thought she was helping you out and perhaps other things she is doing she thinks are better for your sister.. but unless some one tells her it's not ok she'll keep doing it. She obviously thinks she's doing a good job.
[QUOTE]Don't listen to bablingbrooke and "tell sis that if she keeps taking things out on you, she won't be getting a party." That is ridiculous. Either decide to let them help you, or just flat out tell the one partiular BM to let you and your mom handle everything because things are getting confusing. Try your best to not break up your sister's friendship with this person, though. Just tell the BM that it is important to you to be able to do your MOH duties for your sister. Say something sappy, like, "My sister and I are close and this is a big momment in our lives. I only get to be the MOH once for my sister and it means a lot to me to plan these things for her. Please just relax and let me handle all of these things. I will let you know of anything that you can do to help", and then just stop involving her in things, until the actual events, of course.
Posted by 8124710929466695[/QUOTE]
Ignore this post,and listen to brooke.
Life is much easier if you let others help you plan this stuff. I've done it, and the help made it less stressful and much more enjoyable for me. No, the other BM shouldn't have gone and gotten the RSVPs behind your back, that was wrong.
And it isn't fair for your sister to take out her stress over the other BM on you. It's a completely separate issue, and if she's stressing over it, SHE needs to talk to her BM about it.
My post's purpose was to tell the OP to decide either to let the BM help or not. And then I offered advice on how to let the BM know that the OP can do it herself, if that is what she chooses to do.