Insurance Question

divinemsbee · March 2012

So, apparently my FFIL has started acting a bit cagey (well, cagier than usual for FI's family) and has recently taken out some life insurance and is apparently making "weird comments." He's always seemed like a pretty mellow guy, and I haven't talked to him, so I'm not sure what's up; FI talked with him tonight, and FMIL is trying to get FFIL to cancel the insurance.

Now, I know my parent's got some extra (they work for the state and federal government, respectively, and they both have more insurance through their jobs now than their old policy is worth) life insurance when they had me, so I don't think having life insurance, especially when you have at least one kid who is pretty dependent on you (FI's brother, adult, but lives at home and has no real leads) is a bad thing. My question is, is there some sort of physical evaluation that one has to go through to get life insurance? FFIL is in his mid-to-late 50s and I think is in okay health. I thought you had to have some sort of exam, I guess just to make sure you weren't buying it and then were going to kick off from something terminal (morbid, I know) right after you got the policy. But I'm not sure how life insurance works. Thoughts?

Irishcurls · March 2012

It really depends on if he got a term life policy or universal coverage. The $19/month ads you hear on tv or the radio are generally for term (or temporary) life insurance coverage, and usually do a minimal medical screening (or just collect your records) and base your rate off that. They figure the odds are pretty good that most people won't use the policy within that time frame. Universal is much more complicated generally because it's often tied up in people's annuities and is for a significantly greater amount of coverage, for a longer period so the company is more invested in the policy. Regardless though, the companies make a lot of money off the policies and aren't *that* concerned with paying out some older guy's $50,000 plan if he dies unexpectedly. It's sort of built into the prices of everything.

Though the whole scenario reads a bit odd to me.

lrh17 · March 2012

Hmmm...I don't think it is odd that he is taking out a life insurance policy, but I think it's weird that it seems like he did it randomly without discussin it with FMIL unless I'm missing something. And the weird comments would concern me as well. My dad took out an extra life insurance policy when he started his own business. I know he definitely had to do a medical screening. That's partially how they determine the rate you are charged, and although morbid come up with the probabilities that you will die each year to determine their expected costs. And a sidenote, the earlier you take out a policy the better. As a young person, it's easier I get a good policy at a good rate than when you are older and assumedly in worse health. It's worth lookin into even at our age!

lrh17 · March 2012

Ugh, my apologies for the typos. I'm on my phone and can't edit. Also apparently parentheses don't show up when you post from your phone?

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

What are the weird comments he is saying?

calindi · March 2012

Personally, I wouldn't think it was any of my business what my FFIL was doing with life insurance. That would be his business, and in this case your FMIL's business. At the risk of sounding harsh, I don't know why you care?

divinemsbee · March 2012

Hike- I'm not sure. This all started with FMIL being weird about my mom sending a letter to them just introducing herself. Yeah, they're weird, and I just put it down to that. Then I started getting text messages from FI at about 12:30 (1:30 his time, we'd already had our good-night call hours before) saying that his mom wanted him to talk to his dad because his dad kept being very weird and morbid.

Cal-I guess it's not so much that I care for me, as I care about it for FI. His parents bring him into their business on the regular and he wants to talk to me about it. I guess I kind of wanted to be able to reassure him that it probably didn't mean anything. If he had just gotten insurance, neither of us would ever have known, but his mom is a bit dramatic and she likes to call FI and try to get him to sort things out. Even though he's a thousand miles away and trying to do well in his classes.

Irh-You make a good point. I think FI's dad has wanted to leave his job for a while, and getting new insurance would be one step in the direction of that happening.

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

Dude- your MIL needs boundaries. Honestly, I think it's weirder that he doesn't have life insurance to begin with. But I guess I just thought it was normal for people to get it?

calindi · March 2012

Well, if she's worried because he's being morbid and what you're hinting at is that there is a concern he might be suicidal (which would invalidate any life insurance policy anyway), then your FMIL should call a suicide hotline to discuss rather than your FI.

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_insurance-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:3b19f332-d2f9-44e9-9365-ffedd9aa9f79Post:251d4da8-1e5c-4422-b57c-39e49132842a">Re: Insurance Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, if she's worried because he's being morbid and what you're hinting at is that there is a concern he might be suicidal (which would invalidate any life insurance policy anyway), then your FMIL should call a suicide hotline to discuss rather than your FI.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

Or maybe she thinks he is sick and not telling anyone?

divinemsbee · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_insurance-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:3b19f332-d2f9-44e9-9365-ffedd9aa9f79Post:36a1f86e-6291-40b4-9774-55ecf415c6d5">Re: Insurance Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Insurance Question : Or maybe she thinks he is sick and not telling anyone?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I'm thinking she's thinking. They live about an hour and a half apart (he's in their house, she's working in another city-they are not legally separated) and have for almost a year now, so I feel like things gets missed or misinterpreted because of that. I always thought most people at least got some insurance when they started having kids, but I know FI grew up without even health insurance, so it doesn't surprise me that they don't have it. FI's mom doesn't like it at all and wants him to cancel the policy. I'm leaning towards her being dramatic and it being fairly innocuous.</div><div>
</div><div>We'd actually been rolling along pretty well since the Christmas blow-up, just talking wedding occasionally, then this started. I just hate that she puts this all off on FI when there's nothing he can do about it from where he is. </div>

calindi · March 2012

Again, what good would it do for her to talk to her son, rather than her husband? And what's more, what good would it do for your FI to talk to you rather than his Dad? And further, what good will it do for you to talk to us (besides just venting) to get advice on someone we don't know about something we have no insight on?

Basically, someone needs to just talk to your FFIL. And that someone needs to be your FMIL, or failing that, your FI. The rest of this is he-said-she-said.

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