I know someone whom throws herself parties all the time- for a variety of reasons. Thats fine- I like parties. The thing is, she ALWAYS makes it a pot luck and sends out several emails reminding everyone to bring a dish.
I don't want to! Not every single friggin' time anyway. I'd like to not have to cook something for 30 people before coming, or not have to stop at the grocery store and spend $25 on a cheese tray and desert to bring.
This time she is also requiring you bring cash donations for the flood victems in our area. I've personally already given all my extra money (!!!) and have no more to give. I think she's odd and rude to force people to do this anyway.
I know I may seem mean to some- because she means well, but she literally requires work and money of her guests EVERY single time she throws a bash. I like her...but actually roll my eyes now whenever I see her name in my inbox.
Is she rude...or just annoying?
Even her wedding reception was pot luck- YEA!!!!
judge the non-traditional, pop their happy little wedding balloons... and sleep better tonight for you have made the world a better place.
Re: Is she rude...or just annoying?
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is she rude...or just annoying? : I know!! This one is her stinkin' wonderful graduation party (she's been going to college now for like 12 years) so I feel obligated to go...with it being a "milestone" event in her life. sigh.
Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]
I think it's ridiculous that she is "requiring" donations.. maybe she means it to be in lieu of gifts, but still. I don't put "gifts required" on my bday invitations.. of course I'd never throw myself a party either. That is ridiculous, and honestly, I'm not sure I'd ever attend one of these parties.
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
[QUOTE]10/10 is like the black hole of the knot. It sucks everything in and refuses to let it go.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]
I never, ever post there.
And OP, this girl sounds both rude AND annoying. Granted, I always try to bring *something* when I go to a party at someone's house - but that could be a bottle of wine, some finger foods, a little present for the host, anything. But being told that I *must* bring a dish AND a cash donation... sorry, I'd decline. Like PP said, it's an invitation, not a subpoena.
HOWEVER if you really are annoyed by it, I would talk 2 her one on one and tell her how you feel. She probably doesn't realize that it is bothering you.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is she rude...or just annoying? : I never, ever post there. And OP, this girl sounds both rude AND annoying. <strong>Granted, I always try to bring *something* when I go to a party at someone's house - but that could be a bottle of wine, some finger foods, a little present for the host, anything.</strong> But being told that I *must* bring a dish AND a cash donation... sorry, I'd decline. Like PP said, it's an invitation, not a subpoena.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
Yea- I know, me too....but it's different when it's expected...when you are repeatedly reminded to cook for all of her guests.
ETA: And if she asked why, I would be 100% honest.
[QUOTE]Jenny, are you a 10/9/10 bride? Quick math in my head says yes.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
I am indeed! And confession: I almost asked what your date is. Excellent choice - here's hoping for great weather lol :)
[QUOTE]I think it sounds like your friend has a good heart and wants to help people and have her friends over for a fun family meal that everyone participates in! As for the donations...I also think that is wonderful.. HOWEVER if you really are annoyed by it, I would talk 2 her one on one and tell her how you feel. She probably doesn't realize that it is bothering you.
Posted by AmandalovesAl[/QUOTE]
If you decide to throw a party, you shouldn't ask your guests to bring a dish every single time. Once or twice, fine. BYOB, fine. Bring an app to share, fine. But like OP wrote, bringing a dish big enough for 25 or 30 people to share? Every single time, when it sounds like this girl throws a LOT of parties? Not fine.
It's also in very poor taste to require guests to donate anything, ever. What if people have already donated cash/time/supplies? What if they *can't?* I know some wonderful people who are VERY financially strapped and would give if they could, but they can't. So what then? They can't come party and congratulate the host for graduating? That's not right. Good intentions, maybe, but poor taste.
I'm okay with baking some brownies or something every once in a while, but really being asked to bring soemthing every. frickin. time. would p!ss me off to no end.
This kind of reminds me of my one friend who always invites people over and says "Oh, we're going to order a bunch of pizzas and sodas" or something, and then expects everybody else to pay for the pizza. As in, she and her H don't shell out a dime for the food or beverages. Really, I don't need to go to your house just to buy you dinner.
Does your friend at least put out a dish of her own? I mean, she's still rude and annoying either way, but I'm curious if she invests anything into her own parties.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is she rude...or just annoying? : 10/10 weddings is a scary place. I'm glad you got out alive.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
10/10 weddings does NOT appreciate DDP Kitty's snark. No, seriously, they're talking amongst themselves right now about why people are afraid of that board. (I also HAVE noticed you never post there...)
Anyway, a potluck is fine. One in a while. A fundraiser is fine, as long as she makes it worth your while - food, booze, games. You provide the donation, she provides entertainment. But basically saying, "Hey, bring your own party to my house" all. the time. - not okay at all. Plus, IMO, a potluck should be the point of a potluck. Not just, "It's my graduation - hey, bring some food."
Fuuck, I'm going to a bar for my birthday this weekend and I've promised all my friends I'll buy the first round of drinks. Because I can't NOT try to host, even outside my own house.
40/112
[QUOTE]I would not attend this party. No way, no how. ETA: And if she asked why, I would be 100% honest.
Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]
This. Also, if possible, the best way to counteract this is to throw parties at your house and provide everything. Show her what a gracious host does.
40/112
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is she rude...or just annoying? : 10/10 weddings does NOT appreciate DDP Kitty's snark. No, seriously, they're talking amongst themselves right now about why people are afraid of that board.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Haha! They're the "black whole"!
Link for anyone that might be ineterested: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2010-weddings_whats-wrong-oct-2010-board">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2010-weddings_whats-wrong-oct-2010-board</a>
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is she rude...or just annoying? : 10/10 weddings does NOT appreciate DDP Kitty's snark. No, seriously, they're talking amongst themselves right now about why people are afraid of that board. (I also HAVE noticed you never post there...)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
First of all, just because you've never seen me post there doesn't mean I haven't. I did, a few times, quite awhile ago (over a year ago, actually). Also, it doesn't mean I don't lurk. It scared me because I lurked about 18 months prior to my wedding and people already had so much crap done (like dresses bought and invites picked out). And I'm just not a friendly month/local type of person. So it wasn't a good fit for me. There's no need for anyone to be offended because a couple people don't like a board.
Also? Joke. Learn to take one.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
I agree - I'll only have a 13 month engagement and I was floored when I went over there last fall and saw that people already had their hair and makeup trials booked.
40/112
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
my blog
The October brides didn't think it was funny either. Joking fail.
40/112
[QUOTE]J, I WAS joking around with you. I got that you were joking too. I totally understand it isn't for everyone. I know you're an October bride, and I've never seen you post there, but I assumed it really wasn't your type of place. I agree - I'll only have a 13 month engagement and <strong>I was floored when I went over there last fall and saw that people already had their hair and makeup trials booked.
</strong>Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Me exactly. 13 month engagement, prefer to do things in my own sweet time... still haven't registered, no invites, no hair trial, no BM dresses... Went over to 10/10 and felt like a slacker when I didn't have my dress purchased a year before the wedding. *Shrug* More power to 'em, but when every post is "Check!"- related, I lost interest.
Oh I threadjacked. My bad.
my blog
[QUOTE]Why do you keep going if you hate it so much?
Posted by smore154[/QUOTE]
This. Sure. She's rude, but I have friends who do this kind of stuff all of the time. Potlucks are very popular in my circle because we just like to get together. However, if I didn't want to cook for 30 people or donate to a cause, I just wouldn't go. It's that simple.
40/112
FYI- didn't go to her party....
Thank you to all who gave their thoughts=)