Our unforgettable Engagement Party!

HobokensFury · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:40c92a4b-e58b-47ac-a52f-97abf235aa97">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : I was obviously talking about the engagement plannng part, not the animal part.
Posted by t12ubeauty[/QUOTE]

You got angry at people calling her rude and other things. The fish were one of the main sticking points. People were not rude, they were honest.

achiduck · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:ff600199-0914-42e0-9675-1a2a3dcb7ee7">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : Wow! who died and made you queen of ettiquette? Get over yourself, it's my engagement and I can celebrate how I want to!!! Just like the OP can! You should be ashamed of youself for putting her down when she is just trying to share her happiness!
Posted by thurta[/QUOTE]
Causing harm to animals is never an acceptable way to celebrate.

LandJ13 · September 2012

Achiduck, this is not some exclusive club for you and your "regs". You and your "regs" are the reason no one else posts here. There is no rule saying because I'm new I should keep to myself. I've wondered why the activity on the entire forum is lacking, because I have lurked, as you so kindly recommended, I know why. Your condescending use of 'sweatpea' is just another example.

achiduck · September 2012

Oh goodness, LandJ. No one said you should keep to yourself. We said you should lurk until you understand how these boards work. Just like when you get a new job you observe the environment before jumping in on jokes so you don't put your foot in your month. This is the same thing.

Also, you have not been around TK enough to ACTUALLY know why the boards are slow right now so you go right ahead and think that it's because we're all b!tches.

Have a good night, sweatpea.

sparkles776 · September 2012

If you spent 10's of hours looking for a dress for your engagement party are you going to spend 100's of hours looking for you wedding dress? I honestly am just curious.

LandJ13 · September 2012

We didn't say anything, you did.

t12ubeauty · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:42fe7baf-abca-4a28-8515-aadf47417077">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : You got angry at people calling her rude and other things. The fish were one of the main sticking points. People were not rude, they were honest.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>First of all, I'm not angry. I was merely introducing a point focusing on the engagement planning part...as if multiple people did not comment solely on that. Sorry I didn't make myself clearer. Maybe it is a cultural thing for her, maybe it's not. I was just suggesting something to think about before calling her rude or an AW. Anyway, say what you need to say, but I won't be back to see any replies so you may want to save your keystrokes. </div>

achiduck · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:918b770c-58ce-4ef5-9ded-e87fab689dd6">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : LOL! Pot, meet kettle! "CMGe, you should be back at your etiquette board if you want to preach sweetheart . And maybe I will check out Wedding Bee, I bet it's a whole lot more active then here with the etiquette police trolling every thread." Quote from LandJ13
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
ahahahahaha.. good catch CMG.

catrb89 · September 2012

FI and I threw an engagement party but it was a very casual "hey we got the expansion to everyone's favorite card game and we are engaged so let's eat, drink, and be merry!" I think the elaborateness was way too much for me. If you're doing all this crap just for the ring, what's the wedding going to be like? Probably obnoxious. Plus I feel bad for the fishies. Animals aren't decoration.

pretzelgrrl · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:04278cdd-b4ef-4392-bd66-415f7a70b582">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's generally better to lurk and get a feel for the boards before opening your mouth and going down in flames. The regs on here will generally stand up for each other when newbs, like yourself turn around and attack us for absolutely no reason. So I second the suggestion that you go play on Wedding Bee, mmkay? Have a great night sweetpea.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I will probably get killed for this but when is someone considered a reg...I noticed that a couple of people who are calling themselves regs still have that N badge....just curious since I often see a lot of post with newbs/regs

achiduck · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:e1139a9c-949b-40a0-86e9-556b49c456a8">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : I will probably get killed for this but when is someone considered a reg...I noticed that a couple of people who are calling themselves regs still have that N badge....just curious since I often see a lot of post with newbs/regs
Posted by pretzelgrrl[/QUOTE]
The badges are all screwed up b/c TK's tech department sucks. It used to be that <500 posts was newbie, 501 and up was bronze, 3001 and up was Silver, 7001 and up was gold and 15,001 and over was platinum. Now sometimes it says I'm a newb, sometimes it says platinum. <div>
</div><div>I think everyone has their own definition of what constitutes a regular poster, but IMO it's someone who's SN I recognize when they post, has gotten to know the other knotties and who participates in more then "help me find this dress" threads. </div>

HobokensFury · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:e1139a9c-949b-40a0-86e9-556b49c456a8">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : I will probably get killed for this but when is someone considered a reg...I noticed that a couple of people who are calling themselves regs still have that N badge....just curious since I often see a lot of post with newbs/regs
Posted by pretzelgrrl[/QUOTE]

The badges are broken. If you look at this one everyone is gold. If you look at another everyone is a newb.

rsanna · September 2012

I want to put some kittens in some bottles for my centerpieces! This is a great idea, right? Right? I mean, c'mon. Animals are purely for human entertainment. It isn't like they are live creatures with their own wills. I was thinking something like this:

Great, right?

thurta · September 2012

Wedding Engagement Party: Who Hosts Engagement Party?

Q.

Is it appropriate for a couple to initiate their own engagement party or is someone from either of the families supposed to do that?

A.

Anyone can host the engagement party, although traditionally the bride's parents host the first soiree. But, more and more couples are opting to throw their own engagement parties these days, so go for it! Also, you don't have to stop at just one party. If you and your fiance want to have a party for your friends and family, your parents can have a separate one later. The more the merrier!

Got this off TK..... If it's so rude an AWish then why would TK say and I quote "go for it". We will be throwing our own engagement party, and no it's not cause we are great big AW's, it's because we want to share our happieness with our family and friends and no our friends and family arent so stuck up that they would look down on us for us wanting them to come share in our happieness. I am happy for OP and love her dress, thought this site was for support but I can see its nothing but dumb people trying to tear others down!

QueerFemme · September 2012

In Response to Re:Our unforgettable Engagement Party!:[QUOTE]Wedding Engagement Party: Who Hosts Engagement Party? Q. Is it appropriate for a couple to initiate their own engagement party or is someone from either of the families supposed to do that? A. Anyone can host the engagement party, although traditionally the bride's parents host the first soiree. But, more and more couples are opting to throw their own engagement parties these days, so go for it! Also, you don't have to stop at just one party. If you and your fiance want to have a party for your friends and family, your parents can have a separate one later. The more the merrier!Got this off TK..... If it's so rude an AWish then why would TK say and I quote "go for it". We will be throwingnbsp;our own engagement party, and no it's not cause we are great big AW's, it's because we want to share our happieness with our family and friends and no our friends and familynbsp;arent so stuck up that they would look down on us for us wanting them to come share in our happieness. I am happy for OP andnbsp;lovenbsp;her dress, thought thisnbsp;site wasnbsp;fornbsp;support but I can see its nothing butnbsp;dumb people trying to tear others down!nbsp; Posted by thurta[/QUOTE]

Theknot is great for some things. Some of their tools are good. But giving advice on what is proper etiquette isn't one of them. TK is involved in the multi million dollar wedding industry. Of course they will advocate for lots of parties. And they hope you will buy the personalized napkins and shot glasses.

PrincessJas · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:da320aa3-2824-4bdc-bbfe-840b44293386">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you that is calling this rude and quoting etiquette thought about how it might be a cultural thing? Different cultures may have certain traditions and customs that are considered an accepted norm that you don't know about. In my culture, the bride <strong>and her family</strong> traditionally host the engagement party and the bride is very actively involved in the planning process. Had I chosen to have an engagement party, I would've planned it as well. In fact, the groom's family arrives at the bride's house lined up with trays of gifts for the bride and her family. There is a reception afterwards which again the bride is involved in planning. Call that AW all you want, but that's what has been done by our people for centuries. It is not anyone's place to call it rude.
Posted by t12ubeauty[/QUOTE]

<div>There's one difference here that you have kindly pointed out. Refer to the bolded bit. Even though the bride may be involved in the planning, she and her fiance are not the ones technically hosting (or paying for) the engagement party. The newly engaged couples are not throwing the party for themselves - the bride's family is throwing the party <em>for them</em>. And I would bet the invitation don't go out from the bride- and groom-to-be.</div>

Phoenix0 · September 2012

Hi Ladies,

I really value everyone's opinions, and I'm sorry some feel that my engagement was a big etiquette "faux pas" or no no...

I am Lebanese, my engagement was in Lebanon and where I am from, the Bride's parents throw the engagement party in honor of the groom... and the Groom and his family cover the wedding. Engagements in Lebanon are a big thing and people stay engaged for at least a a few years. In most engagements, 150- 200 guests are invited, it's usually a dinner; if the bride's family choose a reception, they invite 200-300 people. The Bride's family get the couple small gold trinkets for the engagement as is tradition.

I assure everyone my fiancee and I did alot of research about how to care for fish, the glass bowls were prepared ahead of time to have just the right environment for the fish, and the bowls were lit to keep the right temperature. Out of 40 goldfish, only one died, and that was a 10 days after the engagement... 39 fish are all happily swimming in my aquarium at home.

The only thing I don't appreciate is negative comments about a happy day of mine. I thought I'd share our event with the knotties because it IS different to what engagements are like in the US or other parts of the world.

Yes i get ONE engagement... so I looked for days to find the perfect dress... how is that wrong?

TK is not a place to bully other brides... and noone here is Queen B, I am sure we are all more than capable of expressing our opinion and even being critical without being hurtful.

kmmssg · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:9619bc92-0a97-483b-8a24-cfc8bf9b49b6">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wedding Engagement Party: Who Hosts Engagement Party? Q. Is it appropriate for a couple to initiate their own engagement party or is someone from either of the families supposed to do that? A. Anyone can host the engagement party, although traditionally the bride's parents host the first soiree. But, more and more couples are opting to throw their own engagement parties these days, so go for it! Also, you don't have to stop at just one party. If you and your fiance want to have a party for your friends and family, your parents can have a separate one later. The more the merrier! Got this off TK..... If it's so rude an AWish then why would TK say and I quote "go for it". We will be throwing our own engagement party, and no it's not cause we are great big AW's, it's because we want to share our happieness with our family and friends and no our friends and family arent so stuck up that they would look down on us for us wanting them to come share in our happieness. I am happy for OP and love her dress, thought this site was for support but I can see its nothing but dumb people trying to tear others down!
Posted by thurta[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You will find crappy etiquette advice like this on the knot because they make their money selling things for parties and weddings. Like....invitations, decorations, favors, etc. The more they can convince you something is correct, the more they can sell.</div><div>
</div><div>If you consult Emily Post you can't go wrong. No one is selling you anything or trying to talk you into anything when you consult a TRUE etiquette resource. The Knot is as far from a true etiquette resource as you can get.

</div>

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:ae3edabe-f49f-4339-8158-adc06c98c066">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : You will find crappy etiquette advice like this on the knot because they make their money selling things for parties and weddings. Like....invitations, decorations, favors, etc. The more they can convince you something is correct, the more they can sell.<strong> If you consult Emily Post you can't go wrong. </strong>No one is selling you anything or trying to talk you into anything when you consult a TRUE etiquette resource. The Knot is as far from a true etiquette resource as you can get.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

Actually, you can. Emily Post died long ago and her descendants have sold out to the wedding industry and advocate some really bad things now. I would say, consult Miss Manners and you cannot go wrong. And if you don't believe her, check out Dear Abby or Dear Prudence.

AmandaSC1988 · September 2012

The fish thing I think is humorous for everyone to get up in arms about. Those look like the 25cent goldfish. Which, are mainly used for fish food and are hundreds in a 20 gallon tank at the pet store. She probably gave them a better outlook on life than they otherwise would have.

Amanda1443994 · September 2012

I totally skipped over all these comments but just wanted to say congratulations on your engagement to the OP (: Sounds like you had an awesome party and your dress looked amazing.

AmandaSC1988 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:157114c0-142a-4155-81dc-13b3236278fb">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : Oh, yeah. Living creatures are only worth worrying about if they are expensive and/or cute and fuzzy, right? I bet you were the kind of kid who fried ants with magnifying glasses and pulled wings off of butterfiles too, huh?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

You are ridiculous.

I had had several aquariums for years until I moved into a place that wouldn't allow them. Buying from a petstore really is very cruel and those animals are going to die in a week left in those overcrowded tanks anyway. it isn't the cost of the stupid things, it is the fact that those fish are mainly used as food, that is the reason there are thousands in one tank. it isn't like it is Nemo who is pulled away from his family. They are bred for food!

In the off chance that someone actually knowledgeable buys those fish, ONE goldfish requires 10 gallons. They don't do well in heated tanks because they are cold water fish, but need a lot of space because they still grow. So honestly I would release those suckers in a pond somewhere because they need a lot of space.

I don't agree with using animals as decorations, but FFS, she said only one died in 10 days. That is a better life than they would have had either dying from being eaten or in an extremely overcrowded environment from disease. If they all died withen the hour I could jump on the bandwagon, but it sounds like she educated herself and they are surviving.

AmandaSC1988 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:664b87e2-0065-4cc6-b5da-0b3548ec3464">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party! : So, you have no issue with people using baby chickens for decor then?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

LMAO. Seriously?

Where is the harm in allowing stupid fish that would have died a gruesome death the chance to swim around in their own vase at a swanky party, AND given 10 more days to live. The other option is that they would have been sold to an owner of pigmy sharks and would have been used as dinner. WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?

I love animals, but let's be realistic here.

myrinae · September 2012

"I want to put some kittens in some bottles for my centerpieces! This is a great idea, right? Right? I mean, c'mon. Animals are purely for human entertainment. It isn't like they are live creatures with their own wills. I was thinking something like this:"

I mainly lurk, but I had to come out of hiding to say this caused a spray of crackers across my screen. I really like the color of the alley cat--matches my theme perfectly!

To the OP--first, congrats!! You seem very excited about your engagement and wedding, and that's awesome. You also seem to have put a lot of thought into things, and it really showed. Your dress was beautiful, btw! Secondly, you may want to lurk around the Etiquette board. The ladies there really know what they're talking about and despite what many newbies think, are not mean. They are just honest and will give you a valid, useful opinion about all things wedding. I have learned plenty by just reading through old topics.

Edited for html fail...

s-aries8990 · September 2012

I kept a gold fish for over a year in college a gold fish bowl without an air pump or filter or thermostat. It survived and i moved it to a bigger tank when I moved home. No harm done.

OP, beautiful party. When I saw the smoke for the grand enterance, I knew it had to be a cultural thing.

s-aries8990 · September 2012

I actually was given the fish at a college-hosted fair/event where they were in these tiny boxes and came with barely enough food for a week. I thought I was a good samaritan, working my butt through school and taking care of a fish, that i didn't even want mind you, instead of letting it sit to die like the event vendors. Nope can't pay for books, got a fish to take care of! Gotta buy a whole tank set up instead. Sorry Professor!

I made sure to do my best to take care of that thing and I KNOW its not the ideal situation, but any life with a heated room, regularly cleaned water and food is better than being flushed alive to die in the sewer. C'mon.

ETA: The more I think about it, the more offense I take. You're insinuating that I abused and tortured this poor creature, which is a fallacy, and that i have no regard for traumatic events in peoples lives. I know vets who have been scarred and left "broken" by their deployments and I know others who suffer from PTSD from traumatic, abusive relationships. To judge me on the way I cared for a 10 cent fish is a terrible way to go about thinking about people. I know that fish are animals too and they shouldn't be thrown away (ahem, the reason why I didn't throw it away!) I did not do anything wrong in this situation and for you to suggest that is a reflection of you.

samantha24p · September 2012

OP congrats on your engagement I want to put it out there I agree with Stage. Fish, baby chicks, crabs, kittens (lol), and all other animals furry or scaly are not for decorations or favors. My cleaning lady's niece had a sweet 16th Bday where they used beta fish as decorations/ favors. Well her uncle got drunk and mad for whatever reason and starting flipping the tables with the fish on them over killing most of the fish. They never thought in a million years that anyone, especially the uncle would ever do anything like this. Also when I was a kid we had a feeder goldfish that for some reason our salamander just didn't eat. Well that fish lived 8 years in.

nextrightthing · September 2012

Do goldfish have feelings?

firsttimersluck · September 2012

wtffff.... ok

1. I don't understand why one would call goldfish "throw aways".. It's about QUALITY OF LIFE, not the LENGTH of life. I would much rather die a quick death of being eating, than slowly be cooked in warm water over several hours. That's like saying your dumba$$ is gonna die at some point anyway, so why bother treating you nicely? Screw you animal haterz. It's people like you that make me okay with a zombie apocalypse.

2. I will never understand the point of engagement parties.. Why do you need a party to announce that you're going to have a party? I also don't understand how how this even works.. It would be rude to invite someone to a bridal shower and not the wedding, so doesn't that hold true to an e-party? If so, that means you have to have your guest list before your e-party? That seems like a ton of extra work..

I have no sympathy for those brides that complain about how stressful weddings are, when they chose to have an e-party, 32890729358 bridal showers, bach parties, luncheons, etc etc etc...

3. Newbs, it's the interwebz. People can say what they want.. And these women that have been around for a while, are here for a reason: They know wtf they are talking about. LEARN FROM THEM rather than acting like spoiled brat little tweens. Get off your high, mistreated horses and accept that there is this thing called etiquette that is necessary to make sure that people don't feel like garbage or taken advantage of. And that, just like in life, etiquette isn't just in ONE board, it's on all of them.

aloisk57 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_our-unforgettable-engagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:a5ad9146-d2f0-43f8-b548-80fdfab5139ePost:70ae3148-ef03-4ff1-bc0b-94f2a806802e">Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am actually feeling sorry for the OP, who is probably long gone by now. She didn't know about the impropriety of throwing a party in honor of herself. I'm sure it didn't occur to her that the fish would suffer. OP, if you are still here, come on over to the etiquette board and learn from ladies who have experienced what you are going through. We want to help you do it right. You can also check out a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette from the library. This company is one of the more flexible etiquette gurus, and will help you avoid future mistakes in planning your wedding. I hope you have a perfect wedding, even if your engagement party had some issues.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Duuude seriously...aren't you a litle old to be on TK? It wasn't even you who got married! Go get a life.

Our unforgettable Engagement Party!

Re: Our unforgettable Engagement Party!

Wedding Engagement Party: Who Hosts Engagement Party?

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