I've dated Ben for 4 years and he's an amazing person. I just feel like I have to stick up for him and say that he's a great guy, extremely accepting, and his family frustrates him as much as me. I just want to clarify that he is not like them. And I'm not even going into the issues with his estranged brother. This is all about his parents. And I'm not even going over the horrible things they've said on socioeconomics, physical appearance, disabilities, religion, etc; this issue is all about their casual racism.
They make tons of insensitive comments all the time, but I'm a patient person, and I behave around them for the sake of keeping peace. But a few times I have literally bit my tongue. When my niece was born, I showed a picture to FILs. My niece is half-Caucasian and half-Hispanic. An hour later at dinner FMIL went on a diatribe about having biracial children, saying it was a burden on the child, that having two cultures confuses the child, and that it's "not normal." WHAT? They also use the term "those people" and the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." a lot. I own my own business and they've only been inside it three times. I have an extremely open hiring policy, and they always say they don't like to go because "there's all sorts of different types of people there!" And just today I heard that at my engagement party, one of my black employees gave her a mini cake and when she turned away FMIL said "It's hard to see if her hands are dirty." She was WEARING GLOVES!
I do not tolerate any form of bigotry in my workplace. I'm usually quite the loudmouth when it comes to calling out bigotry. So it's driving me insane that I have to bend my back so far to accomidate that behavior for the sake of avoiding drama, but they've been especially awful since the engagement. That or I've been noticing it more. So frustrated.