Save the date

millersox2184 · March 2012

We are getting married on October 5, 2013. We are going to be picking out our venue in a couple weeks and I want to order my save the dates soon after we have everything finalized. I would like to sent them out a year before our wedding only because my brother just got engaged this week and his bride-to-be is insisting on getting married right before me even though they have only been together a few months. Is this tacky? We have a lot of family coming in from out of town and I am worried that they will only go to his because his is first. Help!!

lconoran · March 2012

Me personally, I say when you know the date, let people know. Particularly if you have a lot of out of towners. Just don't rush into anything because you think your bro's fiance will beat you to the punch. "Sufficient time" is about 10 months out for STD's so, no rush. If you're important them, they'll be there!

millersox2184 · March 2012

Thank you so much for that and you are right. I think I might send them out in January, I think that is a good time. I am not going to let it get to me.

lconoran · March 2012

Good for you

)

Stina51286 · March 2012

Just an FYI, DO NOT share any of your info with them at all. That leads to people stealing your ideas. Just say "oh we aren't exactly sure what we are doing yet".

shannie11 · March 2012

I wouldn't worry too much about the save the dates. This will just prepare the guests that they will have two weddings coming up. I may, however, send my invitations out a few weeks before hers if they are that close

Briannasteve · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:50ac02d0-6295-4dbf-95de-dd44f14db6ea">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Just an <strong>FYI, DO NOT share any of your info with them</strong> at all. That leads to people stealing your ideas. Just say "oh we aren't exactly sure what we are doing yet".
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

<div>Couldnt agree more. My FI's cousins are all getting married around the same time as us, so many weddings. Whenever people ask me about the wedding, I am either really vague or I say im not sure, or something along those lines. I'm trying so hard to keep everything under wraps until the wedding, I wont even let people see most of our engagement pics until they are used for wedding purposes. Want my guests to be surprised and I dont want people to decide to do somehting similar. </div>

Stina51286 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:c27a2289-9a78-4c2d-b265-a79dfe281af7">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save the date : Couldnt agree more. My FI's cousins are all getting married around the same time as us, so many weddings. Whenever people ask me about the wedding, I am either really vague or I say im not sure, or something along those lines. I'm trying so hard to keep everything under wraps until the wedding, I wont even let people see most of our engagement pics until they are used for wedding purposes. Want my guests to be surprised and I dont want people to decide to do somehting similar.
Posted by Briannasteve[/QUOTE]

My FI's sister is getting married a yr before us and keeps having their mom try and get info from him as to what we are doing because she is clueless on what she is doing, her wedding is this Sept.

Briannasteve · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:77445b69-1982-4603-a28b-0dc6fc8e3641">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save the date : My FI's sister is getting married a yr before us and keeps having their mom try and get info from him as to what we are doing because she is clueless on what she is doing, her wedding is this Sept.
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

<div>I can't stand that! When people fish for details of the wedding, I beat around the bush. I don't let any details out at all. I searched high and low for the perfect, most unique save the dates and when I get asked questions I either find a way to not answer that portion of the question or I say I want it to be a surprise. I would be so upset if I went to another wedding and saw something I was planning on doing. ( I would get over it and change something but of course I would be upset). I hate how people fish for all your details. Pain in my rear end. It ends up some sort of competition. Who can do it better? </div><div>And September?! I would be freaking out lol. I started planning our wedding this dec because the venues and venders in NJ fill up so quickly. I think I would actually be having some sort of heart attack if I had no set plan or theme 5 months before the wedding. </div>

Stina51286 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:4ec847ad-d07e-43df-8414-22275e73b4df">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save the date : I can't stand that! When people fish for details of the wedding, I beat around the bush. I don't let any details out at all. I searched high and low for the perfect, most unique save the dates and when I get asked questions I either find a way to not answer that portion of the question or I say I want it to be a surprise. I would be so upset if I went to another wedding and saw something I was planning on doing. ( I would get over it and change something but of course I would be upset). I hate how people fish for all your details. Pain in my rear end. It ends up some sort of competition. Who can do it better? And September?! I would be freaking out lol. I started planning our wedding this dec because the venues and venders in NJ fill up so quickly. I think I would actually be having some sort of heart attack if I had no set plan or theme 5 months before the wedding.
Posted by Briannasteve[/QUOTE]

We think she thinks we are stealing her thunder even though we are getting married a yr later. FI actually picked out and paid for my ring in March last year, she got engaged in July, we got engaged in Aug. We have alos been together longer than her and her FI but she is older by 5 yrs to me and 3 yrs to FI. (im 25)

millersox2184 · March 2012

Since this has happened, I have been hiding any ideas that I have and I do not post them anywhere where she might see them. I thought I was the only person going through this but I was wrong! It amazes me how many people turn their weddings into a competition with someone else, this should a happy time and should be the farthest thing from a competition. One of my really good friends is very creative and artisitc and has been helping me come up with some really unique ideas for our save the dates and our invitations. They are things that she would never think of and I am making sure that I tell no one!

Briannasteve · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:a842af71-6f45-40c1-9852-7a00665dcc6a">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save the date : We think she thinks we are stealing her thunder even though we are getting married a yr later. FI actually picked out and paid for my ring in March last year, she got engaged in July, we got engaged in Aug. We have alos been together longer than her and her FI but she is older by 5 yrs to me and 3 yrs to FI. (im 25)
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

<div>Too scary... we got engaged in aug (have been together for over 7 years), and right after it all the cousins all got engaged (w the exception of one who got engaged in june), and planned their weddings for before ours. lol We have been together the longest, we are the youngest of the bunch, and yet it kind of seems like a race. lol I just try and take a back seat and see how it all ends up. I like being last. lol</div>

Briannasteve · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:53b418b2-d04a-48b4-955b-ddd47651cf6a">Re: Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Since this has happened, I have been hiding any ideas that I have and I do not post them anywhere where she might see them. I thought I was the only person going through this but I was wrong! It amazes me how many people turn their weddings into a competition with someone else, this should a happy time and should be the farthest thing from a competition. One of my really good friends is very creative and artisitc and has been helping me come up with some really unique ideas for our save the dates and our invitations. They are things that she would never think of and I am making sure that I tell no one!
Posted by millersox2184[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, you are not alone. I can't believe how crazy it can get. Besides the competition in family, FI and I had to book our venue 22 months in advance because of our area and the month of october. I actually feel like I need to start preparing for fighting for vendors. All of it makes me want to go to a courthouse and just make it legal. or head to vegas. It gets so crazy with everyones opinions, competition for vendors, and family competition! AH!!!!</div>

Briannasteve · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_save-the-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:c23b02b6-3a07-437c-b6b7-8588dbc5cf27Post:99912b09-4a09-480d-a3bb-af1eee131c82">Save the date</a>:
[QUOTE]We are getting married on October 5, 2013. We are going to be picking out our venue in a couple weeks and I want to order my save the dates soon after we have everything finalized. I would like to sent them out a year before our wedding only because my brother just got engaged this week and his bride-to-be is insisting on getting married right before me even though they have only been together a few months. Is this tacky? We have a lot of family coming in from out of town and I am worried that they will only go to his because his is first. Help!!
Posted by millersox2184[/QUOTE]

<div>OP, im getting my save the dates out ASAP because of other weddings in our fam and the fact that if you know the date, I think you should let everyone know sooner rather than later so arangements can be made and people can truly save the date. People's lives can be crazy and I rather be safe than sorry. Good luck! I have no idea why some women feel the need to be the "first" to get to the altar. I know you feel like "how dare she, we have been togther for so long and they practically just met" but think of how much better it is that your wedding will be after. You can make sure your wedding stands out and she can't take any ideas from you. Sometimes its better to be the "best fro last". :)</div>

Save the date

Re: Save the date

Choose Another Board

Search Boards