Bridesmaid Drama HELP

NuggetBrain · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:1e279efa-96f4-46fa-a286-7d569485bca1">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]U GUYS R SO MEAN!
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Whatever Kiki this was URGENT!!! SHE NEEDED HALP RITE NOWWWWWWW ZOMGWTFROFTLOLBBQ!!!!!!!!!!!111

northshoredreams · October 2010

I CAN'T CALL THE BM'S BECAUSE THE BRIDE HAS NOT GIVEN US THEIR PHONE NUMBERS or I would call them myself.

Once again, thank you to all who are so easy to be mean to someone who you don't know at all.

Beachy730 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:5b3f039d-0b1b-4769-bd50-dc6596afdebf">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP : I think OP should call BM's and guests about whether they're coming so she can have an accurate count and let the relevant people know about any changes. But she should NOT berate people (including the BM's) about not RSVP'ing; it's rude and unnecessary. I think you're making the latter point but just wanted to make sure.
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]

Yes, the latter. She asked if it would be okay to approach all the BMs at the shower or some point and tell them she was hurt that they didn't RSVP. And I'm telling her no don't do that.

kikibaby · October 2010

And it's impossible to shoot a quick email or call the bride to get the BM's numbers? ooookay

georgia_bride09 · October 2010

THERE'S DRAMA, PEOPLE!!! PLEASE HELP HER OUT, SHE'S HAVING A CRISIS ABOUT HER WEDDING!!!! Wait...

NuggetBrain · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:8425cdc0-3fa1-4894-af2a-0afdc2297082">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I CAN'T CALL THE BM'S BECAUSE THE BRIDE HAS NOT GIVEN US THEIR PHONE NUMBERS or I would call them myself. <strong>Once again, thank you to all who are so easy to be mean to someone who you don't know at all.</strong>
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

Well duh. Why would I be mean to people who I DO know? Then they'd know where I live, and could accordingly exact painful and righteous revenge. Of course I'm going to be mean to people I don't know. COMMON SENSE.

PS - stop yelling at us. Ladies don't yell. ACT LIKE A LADY.

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:8425cdc0-3fa1-4894-af2a-0afdc2297082">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I CAN'T CALL THE BM'S BECAUSE THE BRIDE HAS NOT GIVEN US THEIR PHONE NUMBERS or I would call them myself. Once again, thank you to all who are so easy to be mean to someone who you don't know at all.
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

Is it possible that she hasn't given you their phone numbers because she doesn't see any need for you to be calling them and taking it upon yourself to organize their lives?

I'm not being mean, I promise. But seriously, back up. If your friend is old enough to get married, she's old enough to fight her own battles. None of this is your problem, and the fact that you seem determined to make it your problem makes it seem like you're just a little nosy and have a thing for drama.

kikibaby · October 2010

ACKRITE!

Wrkn925 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:30f76fd8-4b97-4bc7-a2ff-92e5000d7384">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP : Whatever Kiki this was URGENT!!! SHE NEEDED HALP RITE NOWWWWWWW ZOMGWTFROFTLOL<strong>BBQ</strong>!!!!!!!!!!!111
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

Thanks, now my office mates want to know what I'm laughing at.
I should make them read the OP.

northshoredreams · October 2010

I'm glad I can be a laughing-stock for all of you. Go share the post with your co-workers and laugh your heads off. Share the post with whoever you want and laugh all day if you want. I am going outside to cry. I am a sensitive person and I was just asking for advice, not ridicule. I wish nothing but the best for ALL of you.

Meg1979 · October 2010

Okay, I could see that if you were the MOH, you would be responsible for getting things together. My MOH has graciously gotten the numbers together, started planning for the shower, etc. If you are just a bridesmaid, look pretty in your dress (that hopefully fits, it sounds like you ordered the correct size) and let the other girls fall by the wayside. You can't be responsible for everyone. The bride is the one in control in this situation, not you. It's very helpful, certainly, to try to go out of your way for her, but it's really her (and her FI's) show. Don't get burned out by this wedding. Planning for your own can be stressful enough.

kikibaby · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:37f5588a-8529-4fbf-bc6a-911fa115cb49">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm glad I can be a laughing-stock for all of you. Go share the post with your co-workers and laugh your heads off. Share the post with whoever you want and laugh all day if you want. I am going outside to cry. I am a sensitive person and I was just asking for advice, not ridicule. I wish nothing but the best for ALL of you.
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

A) My co-workers would have no interest in this

B) You need to grow a thicker skin. Seriously.

Seriously.

C) Nobody ridiculed you. We mainly told you to chill out. You're overthinking things and worrying about crap you don't need to worry about. What's the point?

Wrkn925 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:37f5588a-8529-4fbf-bc6a-911fa115cb49">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm glad I can be a laughing-stock for all of you. Go share the post with your co-workers and laugh your heads off. Share the post with whoever you want and laugh all day if you want. I am going outside to cry. I am a sensitive person and I was just asking for advice, not ridicule. I wish nothing but the best for ALL of you.
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

OK, calm down.
I was laughing at the BBQ. I find BBQ very amusing.

You, on the other hand, need to calm down. You do not need to let all this stress you out so much.
This is your friend's wedding, and from what I read, it seems like she isn't as worried about all these details as you.
Take a deep breath, think about what will really matter in five years.

We all just think you are flipping out. And none of us have the determination or dedication to read a post that is THAT long. You are going in to too many details, which is why I imagine you are stressed.

Most of us here think that flipping out over things this small is over-reacting. They are all minor details. At the end of your friend's wedding, she will be married to the love of her life, and you will be a person that helped that happen.
SO, calm down, have a strong drink, and let some of these things roll off your back.

ETA: B/c I said the bride would be married to the love of her live. I suck,

Beachy730 · October 2010

OP- I actually took the time to read your whole post, and I don't think I was being mean. I was honest with you, as most of the girls were when we said you need to just relax and let this go. It's not your wedding, so if it falls apart at the seams because BMs have the wrong size dress, its not your fault, and its not your wedding.

As for the shower, I already gave you my advice on that in my first post. Stop defending yourself, read the posts, and take them with a grain of salt. People gave you legitimate advice in there, so pay attention to that. I don't know what other vaidation you are looking for, because nobody is going to tell you that you can write all this down and demand it of the bride at your wedding.

northshoredreams · October 2010

I have and Beth has emailed the bride asking for phone numbers and we still have none. I cannot call the MOB because I do not have her number or her email.

The invitations said to kindly rsvp by Oct 11 and they were sent at the end of Sept, so it gave everyone plenty of time.

So I am worried about the shower that I am throwing because it is impossible to get any info from anyone and I have tried everything. I'm not worried about anything else - the only reason I provided the details were to explain that no one is doing anything to help anyone and give background to the story.

amber2123 · October 2010

Ummm...It might just be me, but I don't give out other people's phone numbers/emails without asking the person first, that's how my family works. And I don't know if I'd want some random person to have that information when I could just talk to the person I know (aka the bride) and tell them what's going on. No offence, just my POV.

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:4c197dea-6052-4adf-9658-19731ea3bf17">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I have and Beth has emailed the bride asking for phone numbers and we still have none.</strong> I cannot call the MOB because I do not have her number or her email. The invitations said to kindly rsvp by Oct 11 and they were sent at the end of Sept, so it gave everyone plenty of time. So I am worried about the shower that I am throwing because it is impossible to get any info from anyone and I have tried everything. I'm not worried about anything else - the only reason I provided the details were to explain that no one is doing anything to help anyone and give background to the story.
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

This is exactly my point. The bride doesn't seem to be worrying - so why are you? If you've told her "we need these numbers to follow up" and she hasn't given them to you, then just plan the shower for the number of people who've said yes plus a few extras in case more people show up, and then take it from there. If her shower is a little chaotic because you didn't have an exact headcount, then a) it will be ok, you're not staging a battle, you're throwing a party and b) she can't exactly complain since she didn't do anything to help.

Bubbalub · October 2010

Chiwawa, I would take that etsy link out of your siggy. The Knot has rules against vendors posting.

chiwawa · October 2010

Sorry, I didn't realize there was anything wrong with it, since it's not remotely wedding related.

Off to go take it out.

Istremene · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:cc0e6fd7-2a2d-4096-a04b-8ac1762cca8c">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow she almost deserves another gold star for overreacting.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

This.

Istremene · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:8425cdc0-3fa1-4894-af2a-0afdc2297082">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]I CAN'T CALL THE BM'S BECAUSE THE BRIDE HAS NOT GIVEN US THEIR PHONE NUMBERS or I would call them myself. Once again, thank you to all who are so easy to be mean to someone who you don't know at all.
Posted by northshoredreams[/QUOTE]

Then draw the logical conclusion that SHE DIDNT WANT YOU TO HAVE THE PHONE NUMBERS. Perhaps because she knew it was stressing you out. Let it all go. Life is too short. And you have your wedding coming up to stress out over. Your time will come.

squirrly · October 2010

Northshore,

Calm down. Really. Worry less, drink more. There's not a damn thing you could or should do to fix this. Because it's not broken. Promise.

Now, go get a massage, or a pedicure, or something.

TTiger03 · October 2010

If you are so concerned with getting the phone numbers, can you look in the phone book or on whitepages online? - Honestly, I don't think you need them. Sure it would be great if people would actually RSVP, but you already know that of the 17 there are 2-3 that are definite no. You have 4 that are yes. As for the rest, just plan on it being a casual party. With only 17 invited it was more likely to be that way anyway. Games are fun, but not necessary. You said the family is very busy in the fall, so they might enjoy just a little down time talking if they are able to come. It might be that they don't show anyway. If this doesn't bother the bride, don't let it bother you.

cmmosley81 · October 2010

Ttiger I love your ticker where did you get it from?

botticelliangel6 · October 2010

This is why I am only having 3 bridesmaids (2 maids and one MOH) - keeps drama to a minimum and I only have people that are actually interested in my wedding and being involved and helpful!!!

Sounds like she picked the wrong MOH - they should be the most involved maid of all. Oh, and I did the check in with RSVP's for my own shower because they were my family and friends and I didn't want to make my MOH call people she doesn't know.....

TTiger03 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-drama-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8216ba81-8e2b-4d5b-8a97-c52d90c9d6a3Post:492e4104-4eca-4056-acb4-be317f9eaefe">Re: Bridesmaid Drama HELP</a>:
[QUOTE]Ttiger I love your ticker where did you get it from?
Posted by cmmosley81[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I don't remember now. I googled wedding tickers and found it.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I just looked again. It's TickerClub.com</div>

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