Tell her that since you're tight on time right now and do need breaks from wedding planning, you'd rather spend time with her as a friend than on wedding "to do lists" when you see her.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_lonely?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a381a670-d143-4bf5-9273-3dd2e7b7725cPost:58c00a27-6e50-4fa3-a143-7abe4c212161">Re: lonely</a>: [QUOTE]Been lurking for a while, but joined on 4-26? Posted by CA2MT4EveR[/QUOTE]
A registered screen name isn't necessary to read these posts. Only to reply to them.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_lonely?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a381a670-d143-4bf5-9273-3dd2e7b7725cPost:a6862eca-213e-4006-a112-b65b070cd243">lonely</a>: [QUOTE]what do I tell this BM if she asks 'why did you not ask me to help'? When the problem is that she doesn't seem to have time and I don't know when her days off are to schedule time for her to 'help'- that seems to be the only way that it works with us. Am I crazy? I'm just so drained and tired. I HATE asking people for help- i would rather spend time with them as opposed to putting them to work...so now it just seems like an obligation that I need to do it to make my wedding party happy. Suggestions? Posted by Canadianna[/QUOTE]
You've answered your own question here. Just say, "well you seem busy, and I don't know when your days off are, plus I'd rather just spend time with you, especially since I'm moving so soon."
Have you tried making non-wedding plans with these girls? It seems weird that they've dropped off the face of the earth, but maybe they think you're planning 24/7, and that's why they're only contacting you when they are able to help. Prove them wrong.
You've got friend issues, my dear - not BM issues. You're life is changing in a big way. You're getting married and moving. It's hard for some people to deal with, especially if you have friends that are not at the same point in their lives as you are. It may be frusterating that you can't seem to get together with people as much as they may like, but you are correct in that you can't realistically change your schedule to accomodate them. If it seems like they are geniunely interested in helping, continue to set dates/times that work for you, and extend the invite for them to participate if they can and want to.
I suggest trying not to get too caught up in what people aren't doing (don't fall into the trap of thinking that they don't care about you because they aren't making time for you), and focus on the people that are helping and do care (like your friend that helped make your cards).
If you feel distanced from everyone, why not try to schedule a girl's night out, sans wedding talk. Just get together, hang out, and enjoy your friendship. Keep in mind, though, that relationships do change, and weddings tend to being out everyone's true colors. At the end of this process, you may realize that some of your friendships have run their course. It's sad, but it happens.
As far as talking wedding stuff, that's what we're here for. Share your ideas with us, and hopefully, relieve some of your stress at the same time. Welcome to the boards!
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[QUOTE]Been lurking for a while, but joined on 4-26?
Posted by CA2MT4EveR[/QUOTE]
A registered screen name isn't necessary to read these posts. Only to reply to them.
[QUOTE]what do I tell this BM if she asks 'why did you not ask me to help'? When the problem is that she doesn't seem to have time and I don't know when her days off are to schedule time for her to 'help'- that seems to be the only way that it works with us. Am I crazy? I'm just so drained and tired. I HATE asking people for help- i would rather spend time with them as opposed to putting them to work...so now it just seems like an obligation that I need to do it to make my wedding party happy. Suggestions?
Posted by Canadianna[/QUOTE]
You've answered your own question here. Just say, "well you seem busy, and I don't know when your days off are, plus I'd rather just spend time with you, especially since I'm moving so soon."
Have you tried making non-wedding plans with these girls? It seems weird that they've dropped off the face of the earth, but maybe they think you're planning 24/7, and that's why they're only contacting you when they are able to help. Prove them wrong.
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You've got friend issues, my dear - not BM issues. You're life is changing in a big way. You're getting married and moving. It's hard for some people to deal with, especially if you have friends that are not at the same point in their lives as you are. It may be frusterating that you can't seem to get together with people as much as they may like, but you are correct in that you can't realistically change your schedule to accomodate them. If it seems like they are geniunely interested in helping, continue to set dates/times that work for you, and extend the invite for them to participate if they can and want to.
I suggest trying not to get too caught up in what people aren't doing (don't fall into the trap of thinking that they don't care about you because they aren't making time for you), and focus on the people that are helping and do care (like your friend that helped make your cards).
If you feel distanced from everyone, why not try to schedule a girl's night out, sans wedding talk. Just get together, hang out, and enjoy your friendship. Keep in mind, though, that relationships do change, and weddings tend to being out everyone's true colors. At the end of this process, you may realize that some of your friendships have run their course. It's sad, but it happens.
As far as talking wedding stuff, that's what we're here for. Share your ideas with us, and hopefully, relieve some of your stress at the same time. Welcome to the boards!
http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
anyway...i'm usually more...um.. eloquent than that...sorry if it was a bit ramble-y and incoherent.
Cheers.