Venting....

deanozzi · May 2012

Let me first start off by saying that I am having a cruise wedding, getting married in port so non-sailing guests can attend. Wedding is on a Thursday- June 21st. I know it is highly inconvenient. We sent out STD's about 6 months in advance to give everyone ample time if they needed or wanted to try to take off of work for the day to attend and I sent out my invites about a month and a half ago and most replied well at least on my family's side.

We have 42 sailing guests, that includes me and my FI. All of my fathers family is coming on the cruise and some of my mothers side. The rest that are not coming for the most part have RSVP'd to the wedding and reception.

As far as my FI side only his mother and father are coming on the cruise but only 4 other people not including his brother and brothers wife are coming to the wedding. We probably sent out 30+ invites to his family's side alone. Because I only received 2 RSVP's out of the 30 that we sent out I had to start making phone calls to the other 28. (The cruise line needs our final guest count by next week) Our RSVP date on our invites was May 20th.

I feel so sad for my FI, that he will not have his family there and he is very upset and hurt. I will say again that I know that a Thursday wedding is not the most convenient but I would have thought that at least his Aunts and Uncles and a few cousins would have been able to come celebrate with us. We have waited 14 years to get married.

brandichamberlain · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_venting-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d5e39550-4aab-4e1b-820a-5d6342d1381cPost:023b72dd-2837-428a-97e3-0b9f19aa6b7c">Venting....</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me first start off by saying that I am having a cruise wedding, getting married in port so non-sailing guests can attend. Wedding is on a Thursday- June 21st. I know it is highly inconvenient. We sent out STD's about 6 months in advance to give everyone ample time if they needed or wanted to try to take off of work for the day to attend and I sent out my invites about a month and a half ago and most replied well at least on my family's side. We have 42 sailing guests, that includes me and my FI. All of my fathers family is coming on the cruise and some of my mothers side. <strong>The rest that are not coming for the most part have RSVP'd to the wedding and reception</strong>. As far as my FI side only his mother and father are coming on the cruise but only 4 other people not including his brother and brothers wife are coming to the wedding. We probably sent out 30+ invites to his family's side alone. Because I only received 2 RSVP's out of the 30 that we sent out I had to start making phone calls to the other 28. (The cruise line needs our final guest count by next week) Our RSVP date on our invites was May 20th. I feel so sad for my FI, that he will not have his family there and he is very upset and hurt. I will say again that I know that a Thursday wedding is not the most convenient but I would have thought that at least his Aunts and Uncles and a few cousins would have been able to come celebrate with us. We have waited 14 years to get married. <div>Posted by deanozzi[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>Can you clarify the bolded? If they aren't coming to the wedding on the cruise are you planning on having a<u> vow renewal</u> later?

</div>

deanozzi · May 2012

The people who are not coming on the cruise have RSVP'd to come to the wedding and reception.

We are getting married in port so we can have non-sailing guests attend. Then, when the wedding and reception are over, they leave the ship.

brandichamberlain · May 2012

I'm sorry. I misread that completely.

That stinks that his family won't be coming. Maybe you can get together with them before you leave or when you get back (if it's not too hectic).

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

That really sucks that people can't come. But don't take it personally. You know that it's inconvient. You just have to understand that they aren't coming because of the inconvenience, not because they don't love you (or him).

Focus on the people that are able to be there and look forward to how great it will be.

deanozzi · May 2012

My FI has always been the GOOD one in his family, never did anything wrong, was not a drinker or an druggy (like the majority of his family is). He has always been the one that his family forgets. I just feel really, really bad for him (and me).

As far as destinationish wedding, I see it as the same as if we were doing a backyard wedding or getting married in a church. We are having it local (for most people it is under a 30 minute drive). Everyone will still partake in all of the festivities the same as they would if it were in another location.

LaBellaVita23 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_venting-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d5e39550-4aab-4e1b-820a-5d6342d1381cPost:bb6dba58-2701-47c7-855f-e07e9de7d896">Re: Venting....</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI has always been the GOOD one in his family, never did anything wrong, was not a drinker or an druggy (like the majority of his family is). He has always been the one that his family forgets. I just feel really, really bad for him (and me). As far as destinationish wedding, I see it as the same as if we were doing a backyard wedding or getting married in a church. We are having it local (for most people it is under a 30 minute drive). Everyone will still partake in all of the festivities the same as they would if it were in another location.
Posted by deanozzi[/QUOTE]
But it's on a Thursday. I don't think I would go to a Thursday wedding unless it was my brother. And even then I would be annoyed. It's just inconvenient no matter what.

HobokensFury · May 2012

It will be ok. At our wedding my side had 10 tables and his side was only 4. They don't have to be equal.

iriscarmendiaz · May 2012

I'm in a similar situation. We're having a destination wedding (it's where we currently live, but everyone else is flying in from 3,000 miles away). We also gave plenty of notice and extra help, but very few people responded at all, and most of the responses are from my side. He's got ONE family member of his that is coming, and one friend (with his gf).

It really does stink. My mom is going out of her way to see what she can do to make him feel like it's not a us-versus them, but that a couple people are coming and we'll still have a nice (but tiny) wedding, but it still makes him feel crummy.

Not a whole lot we can do about it at this point.

I've love to hear suggestions that people make. Maybe they can help me too.

librababy · May 2012

((Hugs)). I understand how you feel but don't take it personal. For some people, work or other life events take precedence over a wedding, especially if it's a Thursday and it's not a close family relative like a sister, etc. However, I am having my wedding on a Sunday, so I feel like people will have to leave my reception early because of school or work the next day. It is what it is.

As for families and numbers, all my family has to fly in for the wedding. I don't expect a lot of my familiy members there at all. With the price of tickets and then having to have spending money (since it'll be like a cavation as well), I understand the burden. Just try to enjoy your day. No matter if 100 or 10 people show up, it'll still be special for the two of you because you are getting married.

Venting....

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