the baby Q

xstarx05x · June 2012

Hello! I haven't been on here in a while but I was inspired to share this post...

I find the baby question amusing. It usually comes 2 different ways:

"When WILL YOU have kids?" vs. "When DO YOU WANT TO have kids?"

In my marriage these warrent 2 different answers. Our answer to the first is simply, "When God says it's time to be parents!" Our power to designate when we will *definitely* have kids is limited! It isn't exactly like getting a hair cut.

We get to be more creative with the latter:

"In a few years; right now we want to...

be more settled."

pursue our careers."

save a bit more."

enjoy our alone time/sleeping/travelling/social life!"

You get the idea... We are certainly looking forward to staring a family and we know we will still do some of those things, but we also know life will be very different and we want to enjoy what we have now

Anyway, just curious what others think about these questions because both of them definitely vary depending on your faith, beliefs, family, goals, and your season of life!

peachykeen26 · June 2012

I think FI and I both kind of chuckle about having kids right now.
People ask us and we both say we want to start practicing baby making at about 24-25, but know that when the time is right, God will provide.
People find that puzzling but it's a great truth.

Ash61612 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:ec99775a-281b-406b-8d69-6f1fe7136601">the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello! I haven't been on here in a while but I was inspired to share this post... I find the baby question amusing. It usually comes 2 different ways: "When WILL YOU have kids?" vs. "When DO YOU WANT TO have kids?" In my marriage these warrent 2 different answers. Our answer to the first is simply, "When God says it's time to be parents!" Our power to designate when we will *definitely* have kids is limited! It isn't exactly like getting a hair cut. We get to be more creative with the latter: "<strong>In a few years; right now we want to... be more settled." pursue our careers." save a bit more." enjoy our alone time/sleeping/travelling/social life!"</strong> You get the idea... We are certainly looking forward to staring a family and we know we will still do some of those things, but we also know life will be very different and we want to enjoy what we have now :) Anyway, just curious what others think about these questions because both of them definitely vary depending on your faith, beliefs, family, goals, and your season of life!
Posted by xstarx05x[/QUOTE]

<div>I see us starting a family in a couple years, pretty much what you said your reasons were. I want to get my debt taken care of and get my savings in order too.</div>

ochemjenn · June 2012

I'm going to be irritated when these questions start. Answer: "Never, we don't want children."

As I told my roommates senior year: "If I ever want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll get a cat. And an air filter." I'm horribly allergic to cats. I'd love to have a kid goat.

mrandmrsbrist · June 2012

I kind of have an opposite situation. The longer we wait, the worse my PCOS and all that jazz is going to get because it definitely doesn't get better with age. We would like to have kids now, but when exactly we will have kids is completely up to my body and God.

DramaGeek · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:84dbbee2-91a4-42af-9df7-a0f36fbe7c4d">Re: the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to be irritated when these questions start. Answer: "Never, we don't want children." As I told my roommates senior year: "If I ever want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll get a cat. And an air filter." I'm horribly allergic to cats. I'd love to have a kid goat. :)
Posted by ochemjenn[/QUOTE]

It hasn't started already? It started for us when we got married, even though we were only 22 and still in college!

Thankfully, now that it's been 10 years, it's died down a lot. I think everyone has finally realized that we were serious about not wanting kids.

ochemjenn · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:e1f75c4e-2e5e-4448-b541-c720db820d29">Re: the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: the baby Q : It hasn't started already? It started for us when we got married, even though we were only 22 and still in college! Thankfully, now that it's been 10 years, it's died down a lot. I think everyone has finally realized that we were serious about not wanting kids.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

We really only got it before we got married. My mom was talking about grandkids with on of her friends, with me right there! I kept telling her we aren't having kids. It came up at my shower too, which DH had warned me would happen, and then he'd asked me to say that we didn't know.

Fortunately, in our family and friends circlse most couple don't have kids until about 30. We know a lot of doctors and other professionals, so even people who want kids mostly put them off until school/residency is over. One of the books I read about adjusting to residency joked about how little time residents have to make the baby in the first place!

DramaGeek · June 2012

You know that dumb thing where every ribbon you break at a shower means a kid? i was sooooo careful and didn't break any.

AshNoel8 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:7dccb1c7-a720-4512-8107-743d418c5091">Re: the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]You know that dumb thing where every ribbon you break at a shower means a kid? i was sooooo careful and didn't break any.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Haha I was the opposite! I purposely broke ribbons so I would have more kids! Lol! </div>

AshNoel8 · June 2012

For us, it's the opposite! We will be trying to conceive a child before our family thinks we should. My mom, grandma and mother-in-law all told us to wait awhile and enjoy our marriage, but we would like to have a child fairly soon. Obviously, it's God's timing and His will and we will be happy with whatever happens. But yeah, we don't get the questions much because everyone thinks we should wait. We are 27 years old, so it's not like we are super young!

azdancer8 · June 2012

Whenever we get asked, we say probably in a couple of years. I don't want to wait too long, but we do want to have our house at least mostly done before we try. Ideally, I'd like to be pregnant by age 32 (I'm 30 now), so we can have several. But I also know that God will make it happen if/when He wants to.

jenningz · June 2012

I always say by 25.... and I'm 21 now so that's 4 years. I want to go travelling and stuff with my Fiance.. and we're not 100% financially stable at the moment, there's no way we could afford kids for a few years anyway. I'm in no rush, I just don't wanna have like 6.

jenningz · June 2012

& ideally, I want one of my own and I want to adopt 1... but we'll see.

MichaelBrenna · June 2012

We get this a lot. Half the people ask "When do you want to have kids?" and the other half ask "Are you going to grad school or getting real jobs?" And really we're more concerned about the second at the moment. Kids are for later. I mean we want them, definitely, but we'd like to be financially in a position to take care of them.
His mother really wants grandkids (she waited until later in life to have kids and is now REALLY ready for grandkids) but my parents were much younger when they had kids so my father says "I don't want grandkids until I'm 50." We're just telling people, babies will happen when they happen.

fpaemp2011 · June 2012

Even though our pregnancy was planned, we got pregnant 6 months into our marriage, and that was much sooner than our families had expected. We didn't tell them we were TTC. So, we really didn't get the "Are you pregnant yet?" questions.

We have decided, though, that we're not going to set a limit on the number of children we want and prayerfully make the decision to try again after each baby, and we really want to adopt at some point. We may eventually get the "Are you done yet?" questions because of that.

xstarx05x · June 2012

Loving the variety of answers on here! It's a good reminder that we were all made to do different things

ochemjenn · June 2012

Dang it! I was just talking to my grandma on the phone and she asked when she's going to have some great-grand kids. She said to "go out and have a couple of drinks and have some fun." I told her she should wait for one of my cousins or brother. But none of them are married yet.

DramaGeek · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:15bf9627-14a0-41e2-a28f-307838f1ee65">Re: the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]Dang it! I was just talking to my grandma on the phone and she asked when she's going to have some great-grand kids. She said to "go out and have a couple of drinks and have some fun." I told her she should wait for one of my cousins or brother. But none of them are married yet.
Posted by ochemjenn[/QUOTE]

<div>eh, that doesn't matter! My grandma's first 3 great-grandkids were born out of wedlock :-P</div>

catwine · June 2012

my grandma asked me this the first time she met my fiance, who was my boyfriend at the time. we hadn't even been together for 6 months!
nobody else asked me that until i got engaged. i just said "not for a while".

my fiance and i talked about it and we had originally hoped to have at least one child by the time he is 30. then he said he wants one by the time he is 28 (he will be 24 when we get married and i'll be 22). we both really want a family and are hoping God will let us have one when we'd like to start. we figure 4 years after our wedding is enough time to save and get our lives on track for a baby.

catwine · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_the-baby-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:0813b891-8c1c-4247-8d5e-6862f6e1db79Post:a9dc96c8-4bc3-4a9e-acf7-78edbe13af04">Re: the baby Q</a>:
[QUOTE]Even though our pregnancy was planned, we got pregnant 6 months into our marriage, and that was much sooner than our families had expected. We didn't tell them we were TTC. So, we really didn't get the "Are you pregnant yet?" questions. <strong> We have decided, though, that we're not going to set a limit on the number of children we want and prayerfully make the decision to try again after each baby</strong>, and we really want to adopt at some point. We may eventually get the "Are you done yet?" questions because of that.
Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]

why did you decide this? and when will you say "this is enough children"?

the baby Q

Re: the baby Q

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