give me a ringg! Help?

Narwhal · March 2010

also, i'm having a seriously hard time believing she's actually 19. 19 is young, yes. but not this. no sir, not this.

snoangel79 · March 2010

Hello,

Sorry you have to deal with this, I had lymphoma at 23 but it was aggressive. I actually work at a hospital now dealing with bone marrow transplant patients (the crappy cancer actually changed my life goals). As an older (31) hopefully not too old woman giving advice on been there done that.

You don't want to have to force this, I was with my ex for 11 years and he was with me through the cancer too. I wanted a ring badly and I thought after I got better it would all fall into place, well it didn't! I broke up with him about two years ago and moved on. So I would say you need to do what is right for you, if you are 19 and going through this serious illness and he seems not ready then he is not ready. Don't ever force this, you will feel bad about it if you do, questioning if he really asked you because he was ready or because you put "pressure" on him.

Time will tell if this illness brings you closer or he may not be the one (I don't mean to be hurtful but it happened to me). My ex was wonderful during my treatments then he basically resorted back to his college ways and at 33 he is still acting like this and on top of that I caught him cheating. So I said goodbye, moved on, and I am with the best guy for me! It only took him 1 year to propose too, so it will come in time if it's meant to.

Best of luck with your treatments!

Laura

noelle24 · March 2010

I really really hate it when people pull the tragedy card. Your cancer status has nothing whatsoever to do with your first post. And you're not the only person on this board who's had to deal with tragedy. It won't win you any points to whip that out so quickly.

And I've had experience with family members and friends with cancer. Honestly, the *last* thing you should be thinking about right now is marriage. I watched a friend go through this with leukemia. She was (understandably) freaked out by having cancer, and her reaction to that was to try and get as much life experience as she could, as quickly as she could. Unfortunately, this involved trying to make her relationship (with a jerk of a guy) work, and push it faster than it was meant to go. She's now healthy and happy, although the relationship with the guy didn't work out.

Focus on getting healthy. Lean on your family and BF for support. If your relationship is meant to be, it will still be there when you are in remission and fully recovered. Then go out and have all the normal college experiences everyone else can have. Enjoy life.

Also, you need to stop and think about the practical side of getting married. You will no longer be eligible for your parent's health insurance. Does your BF have good health insurance for you? Would they cover you and not label it a "preexisting condition"? The last thing you'd want is to get married and find they won't cover your many doctor's bills over the next year or so.

chickadeedeedee · March 2010

When I was a senior in high school, I was head over heels in love with my high school sweetheart. As far as 18/19 year old Erica knew, this guy was PERFECT. He had the perfect car, the perfect job, and the perfect pair of jeans. I was going to drop everything to make sure I could go to college with him and marry him.

Fast forward four years.

I haven't been with my high school boyfriend in three years. Because of college, we were both able to grow up and mature and figure out what kind of people we were without any outside influences. Being on your own forces you out of the comfort zone you've been set up with all through your high school career. If I had to go back and do it again, I would, even after I consider how crazy I was about him. I know it's not what you want to hear, but your 19-year-old self is normally completely different from your "grown-up" self, and it's not right to expect yourself to be okay with marrying someone you know right now when you can't even say for certain that you know yourself.

paintgirl · March 2010

See. I thought Chick would work out ok.

brilibby4 · March 2010

yikes. First of all...talk to your boyfriend. You act like you have no idea where he stands on this and before anyone (despite age) gets married, they communicate. Talk about marriage and life and what both of you want/need. Also, trying to make other posters feel guilty because they didn't provide you with the response you hoped for is not okay. You did ask for their opinions after all.

give me a ringg! Help?

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