Just got engaged (yay!) and first post here (yay!). My fiancé really wants an outdoor wedding during autumn, so that we can have the beautiful leaves changing color in the background (we're in New England). 10/10/10 in particular is really attractive to us for various reasons, although I know that many places are already booked for then. All this is great so far . . . except for the part where I'm a PhD student still doing coursework, and next fall, I'll have a full load of classes and TAing, without any real breaks any time in the fall. So, I'd have to be worrying about coursework up until the weekend of the wedding, and I wouldn't be able to take off for a honeymoon afterward -- I could probably ask for a day off, but then it would be back to work.
I'm not as concerned about delaying our honeymoon; we've already done some really fun travelling together, and I'm happy to save that trip for a time we're both free. My worry is that if I'm trying to plan a wedding AND do all my coursework, then one or the other is going to suffer! On the other hand, I'll probably have all summer to focus on the wedding (as well as general studying for comps, etc.), and my fiancé is very willing to get involved in all aspects of planning, and neither of us want a super-elaborate wedding anyway. Moreover, August would be a bad month for various reasons, so we'd have to push the wedding up to July -- which is coming awfully soon!
So. Should I put my foot down and insist on a summer wedding anyway, so my semester is less stressful? Or should we stick to the autumn plan and just try to get as much as possible done ahead of time?
Re: Picking a date during the semester?
It's not easy, but if it's what you want, then you can make it work. However, I also want to point out that the specifc date shouldn't be TOO important, and if there's no other reason to get married in the fall, maybe it would make more sense to get married in the summer or once classes are finished.
It's less that we're tied to a specific date than that he really wants an autumn wedding, both for the scenery (changing leaves) and for the cool weather (he doesn't deal well with heat outdoors). It's encouraging to hear that others are doing it, anyway!
dont know how much knotting you've done thus far
It sounds like you won't be busy in the summer, so you should be able to get most of the planning done then. It's great your fiance will be helping out so much. If he takes care of the last minute stuff, I think it's doable.
Planning Bio-Updated 3/11 with groomsmen attire
as a second year in my PhD program, i've learned there are two sets of lists for everything not-school related: ideal, and realistic. ideal is what you'd love to have happen, given money time etc. but the realistic is what your work dictates.
I would highly recommend getting a coordinator for the last month or two, so you have someone to confirm everything and work out the last minute details.
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One of my cohort members got married during our MA cohort, and that was bru.tal. We had a midsummer break and that's when they got married, but she was going quite insane the couple of weeks leading up to the wedding and said later that she never felt like she really got to delve into married life because we were back to school right after their wedding.
Talk to your professors, see what they think. I would imagine how big of an affair you're planning would play into it as well.
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