Is the color negotiable?

CaylaSummer · October 2010

Hey there,

I just wanted to get your opinion on this one. One of my BM does not like the colour of the dress that I picked but she likes the dress. My wedding colour is light green and brown. I picked a dress that its in mint green since the wedding will be in the summer. I prefer to not use the brown since it's the highlighting colour only. I am not even really considering changing the colour scheme because she does not like the colour of the dress. So far no one has let me know that they did not like the colour.

I do know that she does not usually wear lighter colours so yes I can understand why she might not like it. I have emailed her asked her whether she was worried about the colour clashing with her darker skintone or just not liking green in general. I actually think that the light green would look better on her than brown. So what do you say about this?

alaea · October 2010

I see it this way, it's your wedding, your color scheme. So no, I don't think you should change this at all... I do think it doesn't really matter what color her dress is as long as it's in your scheme, after all, the dresses can be accented with your colors with sashes, ect. so perhaps ask her if she'll wear brown with a mint green sash, or wrap? I get where you're coming from, truly, but put yourself in their shoes, how comfortable would you be, ect.

kimp67 · October 2010

Could you change the shade of green? IDK if everything you have already is "mint" or not, just an idea.

belletop · October 2010

Don't try to please everyone. If you change it, then another BM might not like it. When a BM agrees to be in a wedding it's understood that most likely they won't like the dress, and it's something they will never wear again. I have been in 2 weddings this year and hated the dress in both, but who cares? The best thing you can do is try to choose as inexpensive a dress as possible since they will only wear it once.

dizzinea · October 2010

your wedding you pick the color, if you don't want brown you don't want brown

sytom · October 2010

You're the boss ! But could you compromise with a shawl or wrap? I know you said you have a summer wedding but sometimes it's breezy... To wear it could please her and you could get away with your green color.

marissa_claire · October 2010

I might be going against the grain but I'm pale too and lots of colors look terrible on me. I would probably politely decline an offer to be a BM if I knew a bride's colors were going to be red for example. I think if you're making them buy the dress, then you should care very much about her concerns. If a color is going to wash her out, for one it will look bad in the pics, but for two you'll have a bridesmaid with a forced smile all day. I personally wanted my BMs to feel as beautiful as possible and to enjoy the day, and you should want the same.

tlbattaglia · October 2010

I say keep the color that you, THE BRIDE, wants.

baystateapple · October 2010

I'm going to go against the grain as well. I understand that you want to pick the color, it's your wedding, blah blah blah. But do you really want your friend to be uncomfortable all night long, and also to spend money on a dress that she hates and she'll never wear again?

Can some girls be in brown and some in mint? I think that would look really pretty.

opalsky007 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_color-negotiable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d2b03bb4-af82-481b-b70c-db826628f747Post:b838a4f5-5c6b-4fe4-89d3-90ea06ebd8fa">Re: Is the color negotiable?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to go against the grain as well. <strong> I understand that you want to pick the color, it's your wedding, blah blah blah. But do you really want your friend to be uncomfortable all night long, and also to spend money on a dress that she hates and she'll never wear again? </strong>Can some girls be in brown and some in mint? I think that would look really pretty.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

I'm sure you have a strong vision for how you want things to look, but what if your friend is truly insecure about how the dress looks on her? She'll be unhappy all day, and it will show up in the photos.

What about compromising with a brown dress? You could add a mint sash to it or use mint in the flowers and other decor. I'm always a fan of putting the bridesmaids in the most universally flattering of your colors, and then working the other colors into the details.

TheCranberry · October 2010

Is it possible to compromise on the shade of green? If you're set on green dresses and can't find a shade that looks good on everyone I think she should just wear the dress. It comes with the territory of being a BM sometimes that you won't love the dress you wear. Try to make sure the cost of the dress is on the low end of her budget though and perhaps suggest that she can switch to a different dress of her at the reception or after pics are done. I've seen BM's do this before (usually at an after party), but there's no reason it can't happen sooner.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_color-negotiable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d2b03bb4-af82-481b-b70c-db826628f747Post:6d4d55b9-f6dc-4624-bf15-60bfd2357370">Re: Is the color negotiable?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is the color negotiable? : I agree with this. I'm sure you have a strong vision for how you want things to look, but what if your friend is truly insecure about how the dress looks on her? She'll be unhappy all day, and it will show up in the photos. What about compromising with a brown dress? You could add a mint sash to it or use mint in the flowers and other decor. I'm always a fan of putting the bridesmaids in the most universally flattering of your colors, and then working the other colors into the details.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]
Yup, ditto this. I tend to side with the bridesmaids on dress issues: They're the ones who have to pay for and wear the dress, it should be something they like. When sticking to your "vision" entails treating your friends like Barbie dolls and overriding their concerns, it's time to rethink your approach.

Lisa50 · October 2010

Green is sometimes a tough color for ppl to wear, depending upon the undertones. I know that a green with yellow undertones makes me look ill, but a green with blue undertones look fabulous on me. Maybe if she tries on the dress (and you go with her) and can see herself in it in natural light (fluorescent dressing room lights suck!), you both will have a better idea if its flattering on her. Maybe???

reese511 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_color-negotiable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d2b03bb4-af82-481b-b70c-db826628f747Post:6d4d55b9-f6dc-4624-bf15-60bfd2357370">Re: Is the color negotiable?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is the color negotiable? : I agree with this. I'm sure you have a strong vision for how you want things to look, but what if your friend is truly insecure about how the dress looks on her? She'll be unhappy all day, and it will show up in the photos. What about compromising with a brown dress? You could add a mint sash to it or use mint in the flowers and other decor. I'm always a fan of putting the bridesmaids in the most universally flattering of your colors, and then working the other colors into the details.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

agreed!

CaylaSummer · October 2010

Hey Ladies,

I'm not stuck on mint green but I would like it to be in a lighter green. I showed the BMs different dresses and they all like the style of the dress and its within the same budget. The problem with this dress is that it only comes in a few shades of green and for the most part the shade is not very nice and would look bad on most of the girls except for the mint. There is however shamrock green which I think they might like. I have variety of ethnicity in my BP, 3 are light skin and 2 are dark skin. We also have to wear a shawl for the ceremony which I thought to incorporate in dark brown if we were going with mint green.

I haven't heard from her so I'm still waiting to find out what exactly her issue with the colour. I have 5 girls and if I let them wear brown, then who gets to wear that particular colour? I think having just one would stand out.

BTW if I wear to go with the shamrock green what is a nice colour to go with it. Light brown or?

Is the color negotiable?

Re: Is the color negotiable?

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