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Should Step-Children of Immediate Family Members Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?

Re: Should Step-Children of Immediate Family Members Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?

  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2012
    Since you want honesty here it goes- you are NOT married to this woman, therefore they are not your stepkids.  Your sister is in no way obligated to invite them anywhere as they have no real ties to her.  Yes it would have been nice for her to include them but it's not required.  You should still attend the RD because blood is thicker than water.  Your parents will always be your parents and your sister will always be your sister. Girlfriends (and even wives sometimes) can come and go.  Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear but I'm with your sister on this one.
     
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  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    I'm not sure what your issue is. You and your girlfriend are both invited, right? Your sister is not obligated to invite kids to anything, especially not an evening event, and it is not a snub for her to exclude them, as long as you and your girlfriend are invited. Understand, it would have been very rude of her to invite you but not your girlfriend. But as long as all the adults in a household are invited, it is in no way whatsoever wrong of her to exclude children. There's nothing wrong with having an adults only rehearsal dinner. Kids change the vibe of an event whether they're family or not. If you can't come because of childcare obligations, fine, but you are overreacting if you're just insulted because your stepchildren have not been invited to an adult only event. You're being unreasonable. Your children by virtue of being family are not magically so special that they should be allowed to come to an adult event.
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  • PhattyspyPhattyspy
    First Comment
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_should-step-children-of-immediate-family-members-be-invited-to-the-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8b6b794b-302d-47c2-9c4d-1c5674b4cfadPost:f2df1c52-a728-4cb3-b1e2-7bfb50dd5673">Re:Should StepChildren of Immediate Family Members Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not sure what your issue is. You and your girlfriend are both invited, right? Your sister is not obligated to invite kids to anything, especially not an evening event, and it is not a snub for her to exclude them, as long as you and your girlfriend are invited. Understand, it would have been very rude of her to invite you but not your girlfriend. But as long as all the adults in a household are invited, it is in no way whatsoever wrong of her to exclude children. There's nothing wrong with having an adults only rehearsal dinner. Kids change the vibe of an event whether they're family or not. If you can't come because of childcare obligations, fine, but you are overreacting if you're just insulted because your stepchildren have not been invited to an adult only event. You're being unreasonable. Your children by virtue of being family are not magically so special that they should be allowed to come to an adult event.
    Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It is not an adult only event. Niece and nephew are attending and they are younger than my kids.

    </div>
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_should-step-children-of-immediate-family-members-be-invited-to-the-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8b6b794b-302d-47c2-9c4d-1c5674b4cfadPost:e58b4ac2-6f80-4e6e-925a-3b9b9a125800">Re:Should StepChildren of Immediate Family Members Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Should StepChildren of Immediate Family Members Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner? : It is not an adult only event. Niece and nephew are attending and they are younger than my kids.
    Posted by Phattyspy[/QUOTE]

    So you get answers you don't like, do a dirty delete of the OP and then rewrite the novel looking for different responses?
     
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    The niece and nephew are in the wedding so that is completely different.  They are wedding party members and must be invited.  If they are the only children invited then you are out of line here.

    I'm a stepmom and my kids also have a stepmom.  I'm pretty sensitive to this subject.  The invitation was for your and your girlfriend and the only kids invited are those in the wedding party!  That is not rude.

    Also, this party is NOT hosted by your sister and she may be getting some quiet undertones or demands from her FIL's to keep the guest list down.

    Your girlfriend should have been invited as  you are a couple.  This is a kid free event except for wedding party.  Let this go.

    Edit to add - I also have 6 grandkids and if they haven't been in the weddings they have NOT been at the RD.  3 daughters have had weddings so far, and the grandkids have not been to a single RD yet.  Even though they were family.  I just reread your post and you and your girlfriend are being ridiculous about being disrespected.  You don't get to decide when children are invited and when they aren't.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    You committed a grand faux pas for calling your sister and questioning whether your girlfriendds kids are invited to the RD. The host writes the names of whoever is invited on the invitation. The invitees must not add addtional names to that - ever.

    Your sister may feel that if she includes your girlfriend's kids, she will have to include everyone's children and step-children. Plus, they are not your step children. She probably wanted an adults only event, but included the ring bearer, flower girl and their parents, because EVERY member of the wedding party should be invited. Your sister and the hosts of the RD have done absolutely nothing wrong.

    Your girlfriend is acting like a brat, but I guess that her prerogative. If she wants to stay home with her kids, that's fine, but she shouldn't make an issue of it. You should still do the right thing and participate in the RD.

    It's rude to erase your post after you have received answers. It makes the message board hard to follow. Your question may have been helpful to someone else with the same issue. I tried to go back and quote your post, but unfortunately, you erased at the same time.
                       
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  • Gina8484Gina8484
    10 Comments
    If people prefer a kid free event then ONLY THE CHILDREN THAT ARE PART OF WEDDING PARTY should get invites. You are my worst nightmare as far as my wedding goes. I am so nervous that people won't understand the invite ettiquet and try and bring their kids. If they aren't on the invites then they arent invited.. stop acting so entitled.
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