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WTF!!! Just venting!
Here is a little back story before I start.... My fiance's best friend had been dating a girl for 5 years. The four of us became very close and I consider her to be one of my best friends. So naturally when I got engaged I asked her to be a bridesmaid. Her boyfriend is our best man. Shortly after we got engaged he finally popped the question to her. She said yes and started planning just like I was. Everything was happy and fun. We were all in each other's wedding and looking forward to everything. A few months into their engagement she got cold feet and called off the wedding and broke his heart. I stayed by her side and supported her. Fast forward a few weeks later she wants him back. He is hurt and enjoying single life.
For the past 3 months I have been listening to her complain about why he won't take her back. And how much she hates him but also loves him. Today she asked me to call him and see if he would meet her to talk so that she could get closure. I did. He didn't answer. I let her know this and she is upset which I understand. We are ordering the bridemaids dresses tomorrow.
She just text me expressing how she can't be a bridesmaid because it will be too hard for her to be around him. And how she hopes this doesn't ruin the wedding. I'm so hurt that someone I thought was a friend would hurt me in this way especially after listening and supporting her for so long. I'm trying not to be selfish and say she is ruining my wedding because I know she is in pain, but she brought it on herself and now all she is doing is hurting someone who has been nothing but good to her!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent, I know our wedding will be beautiful and everything will be perfect because at the end of the day I'm marrying my best friend.
For the past 3 months I have been listening to her complain about why he won't take her back. And how much she hates him but also loves him. Today she asked me to call him and see if he would meet her to talk so that she could get closure. I did. He didn't answer. I let her know this and she is upset which I understand. We are ordering the bridemaids dresses tomorrow.
She just text me expressing how she can't be a bridesmaid because it will be too hard for her to be around him. And how she hopes this doesn't ruin the wedding. I'm so hurt that someone I thought was a friend would hurt me in this way especially after listening and supporting her for so long. I'm trying not to be selfish and say she is ruining my wedding because I know she is in pain, but she brought it on herself and now all she is doing is hurting someone who has been nothing but good to her!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent, I know our wedding will be beautiful and everything will be perfect because at the end of the day I'm marrying my best friend.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WTF!!! Just venting!
I'm assuming at best she will be a guest, right? If she declines to go to the wedding, I still don't know that I'd let it ruin a friendship. Her wounds are extremely open right now. Give it some time.
Sorry you have to deal with this. It cannot feel very good at all
[QUOTE]Sorry, but I think you're being incredibly selfish. This is supposedly a very close friend and you're upset that she won't put herself in a very hurtful situation? What is the worst that has happens if she doesn't stand in your wedding? You still have a beautiful wedding day, you still end up married to the love of your life, and you spare a good friend some pain. This isn't about you, it's about your friend. Put yourself in her shoes. If you and your FI break up tomorrow and he rejects you when you try to reconcile, would you be okay standing opposite him at a WEDDING?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>This exactly. I think you need to have a little bit more feeling for your friend. </div>
[QUOTE]Sorry, but I think you're being incredibly selfish. This is supposedly a very close friend and you're upset that she won't put herself in a very hurtful situation? What is the worst that has happens if she doesn't stand in your wedding? You still have a beautiful wedding day, you still end up married to the love of your life, and you spare a good friend some pain. This isn't about you, it's about your friend. Put yourself in her shoes. If you and your FI break up tomorrow and he rejects you when you try to reconcile, would you be okay standing opposite him at a WEDDING?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>Ditto this exactly...</div>
[QUOTE]That's a tough situation. I can see both sides and you have to know she is reacting out of pure emotion right now. Are the bridesmaid dresses fairly simple and something she can order last minute if it comes down to that? I think the easiest way to handle this would be to support her, maybe give her a little space and just tell her you still want her to be in the wedding and if she has a change of heart she is still welcome in your WP. I'm assuming at best she will be a guest, right? If she declines to go to the wedding, I still don't know that I'd let it ruin a friendship. Her wounds are extremely open right now. Give it some time. Sorry you have to deal with this. It cannot feel very good at all :(
Posted by LeenieLane[/QUOTE]
This, right here!
You ladies gave great advice and I appreciated all of it!
Thanks!