Grooms dad passed 5 years ago...what do I do at the ceremony to include him?

Re: Grooms dad passed 5 years ago...what do I do at the ceremony to include him?

• Knottie1443721062 member

  

  April 2012

  I think the balloon thing is more common at funerals. My FI's grandpa passed in Jan. and my FI's son let go of a balloon for him.

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• kfras member

  

  April 2012

  I like the idea of releasing a balloon into the air, but be prepared that some people will be very against this for environmental reasons.
  
  Something that I had recently read in the newspaper was a groom whose father had passed away and they left a boutonniere on his chair that would have been where he was sitting. While I think this is a meaningful, personal touch, it is also a very emotional symbol, to see the boutonniere sitting on an empty seat. So if this is something you would like to do I would DEFINITELY ask FMIL about it first. You don't want her to look over and see it and get overly upset.
  
  I think the memoriam in the program is more than sufficient. You could also include a poem in the program with it. Is it a Catholic ceremony? When we have the Prayer of the Faithful, we like to mention those who have passed away who could not be here with us today (special ones by name).
  

  

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• Lisa50 member

  

  April 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_grooms-dad-passed-5-years-agowhat-do-i-do-at-the-ceremony-to-include-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:83030a9f-bc90-420f-b11c-fc77a9ab3786Post:4b70ea2f-d2b5-4114-8387-8e6d13e3d2ed">Grooms dad passed 5 years ago...what do I do at the ceremony to include him?</a>:
  [QUOTE]My grooms dad passed away 5 years ago and I want to do something at the ceremony that includes his dad. I think people usually just do a candle and picture, right??? Anyone else have any nice ideas......Help!!!
  Posted by kristinhanson123[/QUOTE]
  
  First and foremost, does the groom want any kind of visible memorial of his father at the wedding?  I don't mean to sound cruel, but YOUR wishes on this are not what should drive the decision.  Honestly, I have only seen a memorial at one wedding (a photo of the bride's deceased twin sister was on a small table just inside the Church entrance).

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• Daveydav1 member

  

  April 2012

  Have you considered a customized song?  It might be nice... and actually that way you have control of the message and whats said but it is let out in a very classy and respectful manner.  And as far as the sound of the music is concerned, it doesn't have to be sad sounding.  Let it capture him!  I liked http://www.songasagift.com and there are a few more on Google too.

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• larnen

  

  April 2012

  My father passed away about a year ago, and I decided to not really do anything public.  I am carrying his handkerchief in my hand with my bouquet for the ceremony.  I just think it would be really hard on my brothers, my mom, and the rest of my father's extended family to bring it up.  We all know he is gone and it is extremely painful, but weddings are very joyous occasions.  I think if my dad were here, he wouldn't like it if we all took a moment to mourn him during my wedding.  I am so happy to get to marry the love of my life, and I know that my father approved and cared for my fiance.  It will hurt like hell that he won't be there.  I really don't want to bring up death during the ceremony.  I say leave it up to the groom if he wants to do something or not.  I know you mean well, but sometimes these gestures can be traumatic or downright depressing to the bereaved.  Just tread lightly here.

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