Should I just ask?

cpm1223 · February 2012

FMIL keeps asking me what the cost is going to be (approx) for the flowers. I have seriously no idea why she's asking me because she's never offered any sort of $ for our wedding (my parents are paying for everything) which I'm extremely greatful for. I also don't expect FMIL to contribute anything. My parents already send the florist a deposit to hold the date, and they are planning to pay remainder of the bill the week before the wedding.

But I really want to ask her next time she asks me about the florist costs, why the heck she wants to know! I wish she'd just say "I want to pay for the florist so let me know the cost" or just stop asking about pricing if she's not going to be contributing.

Can I ask her why she keeps asking? or wait until she asks again and then ask her why? I don't want to assume anything but if she's planning on paying, I'd like to know so I can let my parents know.

cpm1223 · February 2012

seems as though my post got eaten again....here's my question:

FMIL keeps asking me what the cost is going to be (approx) for the flowers. I have seriously no idea why she's asking me because she's never offered any sort of $ for our wedding (my parents are paying for everything) which I'm extremely greatful for. I also don't expect FMIL to contribute anything. My parents already send the florist a deposit to hold the date, and they are planning to pay remainder of the bill the week before the wedding.

But I really want to ask her next time she asks me about the florist costs, why the heck she wants to know! I wish she'd just say "I want to pay for the florist so let me know the cost" or just stop asking about pricing if she's not going to be contributing.

Can I ask her why she keeps asking? or wait until she asks again and then ask her why? I don't want to assume anything but if she's planning on paying, I'd like to know so I can let my parents know.

comeongetdown · February 2012

i read somewhere that it's the parents of the groom that traditionally pay for the flowers, i think like the bouquets, bouts, etc.... so that might be why she's asking

i would totally ask her why she keeps asking you, i don't think it's out of the question for you to wonder why she's pestering you about this one detail... plus, like you said, if she is planning on paying for it, it would be nice for your parents to know!

comeongetdown · February 2012

sometimes i can see the "eaten posts" and sometimes i can't... it seems like TK has been acting up more than usual lately *grumble*

mancila60 · February 2012

I can see the eaten posts.

I agree with PP traditionally the grooms family pays for most of the flowers. I would def ask her you have a right to know. Plus if she is going to offer to pay then she needs to speak up now before it's already paid.

Flowerstar1023 · February 2012

You could just tell her and if she wants to pay for them, that'll be her opportunity to speak up. Otherwise, if she's not than it's a little odd to ask about that one specific detail, but what harm is done in her knowing? Just my two cents for whatever they're worth. People are funny with money and maybe that's her way of getting around to offering.

LuckyHeather · February 2012

She might think you are assuming she is paying for the flowers. I think the groom (per "tradition") is responsible for the bride's bouquet (not all the flowers).

Next time she asks, say something like "I'm not sure, did you want to contribute?" If she says no, then I'd ask why she wants to know the cost.

FutureMrsW9 · February 2012

I don't see anything wrong with asking why she wants to know. If she brings it up again, just say well my parents are paying for everything so I don't know hoe comfortable they'd be with me disclosing that - why do you ask? I think that makes it seem innocent enough. Then maybe her response will be that she wants to pay for them. If she does say that, I would first make her tell you HER budget, because if your flowers are like $5k, maybe she'll be like oh nevermind, but if she's like well $2k, then you can take that and just put it toward the flowers. That's what I'd do!

S0095042 · February 2012

i would just ask her why she wants to know

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

I'd just play it off and say something like "Well, we already put down a deposit already for $X, and we are estimating the rest of the cost to be $X. Why do you ask?"

mandi921vh · March 2012

Hmm that is strange. If this was my FMIL asking I would think she was asking to be nosy, but maye she does want to pay for it..? Maybe mention that you booked the florist and if she asks how much it cost just say you are not sure as your parents took care of that and then say why do you ask?

Should I just ask?

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