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Families live far- considering a second reception

poplocknndropitpoplocknndropit
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Okay here's the deal. My fiance's family lives in OKC mainly- but are spread around quite a bit. My entire family is in northern wyoming- montana area. I want to be able to celebrate with both families but think it would be better to have my main wedding with my family and the second ceremony with his family. I'm just lost as to what to do because there are so much more options for my wedding in okc versus up here. What do you think?
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Re: Families live far- considering a second reception

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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You're contemplating a second ceremony? What would you even call the second ceremony?
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    Hey OP, please edit this post and the one of the E board and the one of Second, and put XP in the headliner. It lets all know that you have posted the same question on at least two boards. Thanks.
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    crystaldblcrystaldbl
    First Comment
    In Response to Re:Families live far considering a second reception:[QUOTE]Okay here's the deal. My fiance's family lives in OKC mainly but are spread around quite a bit. My entire family is in northern wyoming montana area. I want to be able to celebrate with both families but think it would be better to have my main
    wedding with my family and the second
    ceremony with his family. I'm just lost as
    to what to do because there are so
    much more options for my wedding in
    okc versus up here. What do you think?Posted by poplocknndropit[/QUOTE]


    What makes you think he doesn't want to have his main wedding with his family? I think you should have 1 wedding. Invite both families to your 1 wedding.
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    gymbugmj2kgymbugmj2k member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I agree with PP.  Have one ceremony/wedding.  Invite both families to that.  If you find that a bunch of people can't travel to it, then have a 2nd 'meet the newlyweds' sort of reception party at the 2nd location.  you can wear your dress to that as well, but i would reccommend against a 2nd ceremony.

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    JennaMichelle88JennaMichelle88 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My cousin and his wife did this:

    They were living and going to school in Florida (or SC, I forget which), where she is from. They had the wedding (ceremony and reception) down there, but only a few of his family members attended. They then had a bbq a few months later up at his parents' house in Wisconsin for all of his friends and family. There was no fake ceremony or anything, she wore a brown sundress. They had a slideshow of the wedding pictures going on in the background and it was very nice.
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    Jager1219Jager1219 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_families-live-far-considering-a-second-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:3fc29974-ba5c-4d75-8e1c-0388d9655269Post:b496be8e-afb0-413e-a963-dc6462ef2f18">Re: Families live far- considering a second reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin and his wife did this: They were living and going to school in Florida (or SC, I forget which), where she is from. They had the wedding (ceremony and reception) down there, but only a few of his family members attended. They then had a bbq a few months later up at his parents' house in Wisconsin for all of his friends and family. There was no fake ceremony or anything, she wore a brown sundress. They had a slideshow of the wedding pictures going on in the background and it was very nice.
    Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]
    This.  You can certainly do 2 parties and you can have a fancier second party (you don't need to limit it to being as casual as a backyard BBQ).  But what you can't do is a "do-over".  And you don't want the second to be more formal than the first.  It's kinda like having a rehearsal dinner that's more formal than the wedding (not a good idea).
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    MayberryAfterMidnightMayberryAfterMidnight member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Have your or your FI's family members said they won't make the trip or can't afford it? You didn't mention it in your post, but don't automatically assume they won't make the trip to come to your wedding and that you'll need a second event at all. My FI and I live in NJ, near all of his family in NY, but our wedding will be in Virginia, near my family. One of my FI's aunts has complained about having to drive 7 hours to go, but everyone else is gladly making the trip. It's one thing if family members can't afford it - in that case, I think planning a party or second reception (but NOT a second ceremony) would be appropriate. But have the wedding where you and your FI WANT it to be and where it means the most to you.
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    lilpbclilpbc
    First Comment
    You can have 2 reception if you both can afford it. If his side of the family can not attend to the one near your home you both can have an informal one in his town.
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    beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_families-live-far-considering-a-second-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:3fc29974-ba5c-4d75-8e1c-0388d9655269Post:6e42c394-b510-40c4-9d01-182d11b69a6e">Re: Families live far- considering a second reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can have 2 reception if you both can afford it. If his side of the family can not attend to the one near your home you both can have an informal one in his town.
    Posted by lilpbc[/QUOTE]

    No. No, you can't. a RECEPTION is, by definition a thank you to the people who attended your wedding.You cannot have a reception on any day other than the wedding day. You can have a party, but it's not a wedding nor a reception.
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    CLI242009CLI242009 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    My FI and I are having a destination wedding. Some of his family and some of my family friends and friends will not be able to join, various reasons (majority being his side). So what we are doing is we will be live broadcasting the ceremony live online for the people who can't make it to see it.

    Then when we return back to NY, (that's where we live and majority of his family is on the east coast) we will be holding a small reception/get together for those who could not make it to the big day.

    I would see first invite everyone to the main wedding. if majority of his side can't come THEN decide to hold a second ceremony, but till you know for sure I wouldn't worry about it.
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