Our group is friends like to party (very) hard, and whenever someone has had a bachelor(ette) party, it's been a disaster. Feelings have always been hurt, fights were started (physically and verbally), people got wayyyyy beyond drunk and got kicked out of the club, and even cheated on their significant others.
We stopped attending these parties a loooong time ago, specifically for these reasons. FH and I are not party-hard types, nor do we enjoy being in that environment. We've also cut back a bit on who we're friends with from that group.
The issue is that people are now trying to plan our bachelor(ette) parties, even though we've explicitly told people that we DO NOT want any. We're having an engagement party, and that's the only pre-wedding party we want.
FBIL and his best friend (used to be a good friend of FH's we stopped hanging out with him because of the party-hard reason) are ALREADY planning FH's bachelor party (wedding is still 15 months away!). We told them we don't want bachelor(ette) parties, but fbil simply replied "Well it's my job to decide that, not yours", and when we tried to explain the reasons he said "well you don't have to worry about the money and if sh!t happens then just blame it on me".
We both feel like no one is listending to what we don't want, and like it's more about what they want (we think FBIL and his "Friend" are just looking for an excuse to party hard again). And to be honest, I'm kind of getting miffed because I feel like neither my feelings nor fh's feelings matter to fbil and his entourage. It's making me stress out so bad, because drama's already starting over this party that neither of us wanted in the first place!
Any tips on how we can be more firm about this, so fbil REALLY understands that we mean NO? Luckily, my friends have been a lot more understanding about it, so far...