WP +1

JoyTate1 · April 2010

I am giving everyone in my Wedding Party a +1, because I want them all to have fun. Well, one of my bridesmaids informed me she plans on bringing this friend of hers to my wedding as her +1 who I am not too fond of.

A) She is good friends with an ex boyfriend of mine and always brings him up around me.

She gets sloppy drunk and is incredibly inappropriate (IE hits on my fiance, is flat out rude to my Bridesmaid's friends who she doesn't know, makes racist "jokes" which I do not find funny ever)
C) She is just very negative all the time. Everytime she comes out with my friend she finds an excuse to leave, and since my friend always drives (due to +1's said sloppy drunkness) she has to leave too.

I know I can no way dictate who my bridesmaids bring as their +1, so how do I deal with this girl on the wedding day?

tidetravel · April 2010

You won't notice her. Promise.

skippylouwho · April 2010

If she is all these negative things, why did you ask her to be a BM?

mbcdefg · April 2010

DH and I sat at the same table with all of our wedding party members (and their dates), and I barely said two words to them all night. And we all get along fabulously, so it wasn't like I was ignoring them.

Don't worry about it. You probably won't even get a chance to talk to this girl. If you do, just smile and be polite for ten seconds, when you will inevitably be yanked away by some other friend or relative.

Or excuse yourself from the conversation if she gets to be too much ... "I'm so glad you could come, Betty, but I'm going to have to excuse myself. My Great Aunt Martha is leaving early so I want to be sure I talk to her before she leaves/I promised my uncle a dance and our song is on right now/I have to run to the bathroom before I burst!" or some other polite excuse.

Or, give your MOH, FI or photographer a heads-up beforehand and ask if they can help you out in situations like this. If they see you clasp your hands behind your back, they know to come get you and say, "We should go to the bathroom and fix your hair/the maitre d' asked if we would meet with him about a question she has/I would like to get a photo of your dad's whole family if you'll come with me."

But try not to worry about it. I very much doubt you'll have time to speak to her for more than a minute, if at all.

mbcdefg · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:92fbbc17-e34d-4c47-9256-891bc39787c5Post:5f17200c-d6cf-4a4f-a7f0-16a09136afe9">Re: WP +1</a>:
[QUOTE]If she is all these negative things, why did you ask her to be a BM?
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

It sounds like this is the bridesmaid's friend/date, not the bridesmaid herself.

suz62984 · April 2010

She gave her BM a +1 and the BM decided to bring this person as the +1.

You won't notice her. There will be so many people you will have to see and talk toothat everything will be a blur. Just have fun and keep yourself wrapped up in the fun you are having with your FI.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:92fbbc17-e34d-4c47-9256-891bc39787c5Post:5f17200c-d6cf-4a4f-a7f0-16a09136afe9">Re: WP +1</a>:
[QUOTE]If she is all these negative things, why did you ask her to be a BM?
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

It's not BM who is negative, it's BM's +1

I agree, unless you want to find a way to notice her, you probably wont. And if she is not getting one on one attention from people because this is a larger event, she probably wont act out.

emilyinchile · April 2010

This is another vote for "you won't notice." If you're really worried about it, don't sit with this BM and her guest at dinner (sweetheart table, you and FI + MOH, best man and their dates, you and FI + parents, etc). But honestly, even if she's at your same table, unless she's right next to you, you probably won't even talk to her.

banana468 · April 2010

I hoped and prayed that our GM would break up with his GF before out wedding. We called her psychohosebeast in college and she was BEYOND rude to me:
-She unscrewed my peep hole to see what I was doing in my room.
-She talked to DH about things my ex-BF said regarding my "bedroom behavior"
-When she moved, she told DH to leave me home if he was going to help.

BUT, when she started dating that GM, despite DH and I rolling our eyes and thinking, "Good GOD man! What are you thinking?!?" we invited him to bring her.

And it worked out fine. I requested that my BMs just be on the lookout in case she did anything crazy but there were no issues. Most people know that when you make a scene to a bride on her wedding day, you come off looking like a psychohosebeast.

JoyTate1 · April 2010

Thanks all! I think I was forgetting this isn't going to be a 10 person get together. I think I will do what mbcdefg said and just let my Man of Honor know the sign to get me away.

megk8oz · April 2010

As somebody who had a WP member bring along a rather detestable +1, I can honestly say "She won't ruin your day unless you allow her to".

Our Best Man is engaged to the most awful girl on the planet. Besides having an unlikable personality, she hates DH and I (Along with the Best Man's other friends) with a passion, and has pretty much done everything short of saying "I hate you people" to our faces to let us know it. Best Man actually missed being a GM in a mutual friend's wedding because of her pyshcotic-ness (They've since made amends). She actually almost caused him to miss ours (Which had this happened, any and all previous "amends" would have been voided). I was dreading dealing with her at the wedding, afraid that I was going to spend all night being embarrassed by her

Anyway, day of the wedding, she shows up in a prom dress, bossed everybody around prior to the ceremony, and then during the reception made several innapropriate comments, inserted herself into random conversations where she was clearly not welcomed, and danced (as my grandma put it) "like she was at some sort of hippie love-in". Guests actually asked me if she was on LSD. But as soon as they saw that I wasn't paying attention to her, they ignored her as well.

I barely noticed this girl. I was too busy having fun, dancing, laughing, talking to people ... being a happy little bride. I was ecstatic to be at my wedding reception and to be DH's wife, surrounded by so many people I loved. Aside from table visits, I don't think I spent more than 5 seconds with her that day. And I was having so much fun and so busy enjoying myself that I'm pretty sure that had this girl stripped naked and drove a bulldozer through the reception, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

You can ignore her. Don't approach her. You will have 93824 people walking up to you every 5 seconds. If she does try to talk to you, politely thank her for coming, and then excuse yourself to check on your grandma or someone. I feel like I barely got to spend any time with even my closest friends that I did want to see. Avoiding my obnoxious aunt was easy.

LarissaAnn · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:92fbbc17-e34d-4c47-9256-891bc39787c5Post:c9eccffa-89fa-4e02-8b6c-63df21ff5246">Re: WP +1</a>:
[QUOTE]As somebody who had a WP member bring along a rather detestable +1, I can honestly say "She won't ruin your day unless you allow her to". Our Best Man is engaged to the most awful girl on the planet. Besides having an unlikable personality, she hates DH and I (Along with the Best Man's other friends) with a passion, and has pretty much done everything short of saying "I hate you people" to our faces to let us know it. Best Man actually missed being a GM in a mutual friend's wedding because of her pyshcotic-ness (They've since made amends). She actually almost caused him to miss ours (Which had this happened, any and all previous "amends" would have been voided). I was dreading dealing with her at the wedding, afraid that I was going to spend all night being embarrassed by her Anyway, day of the wedding, she shows up in a prom dress, bossed everybody around prior to the ceremony, and then during the reception made several innapropriate comments, inserted herself into random conversations where she was clearly not welcomed, and danced (as my grandma put it) "like she was at some sort of hippie love-in". Guests actually asked me if she was on LSD. But as soon as they saw that I wasn't paying attention to her, they ignored her as well. I barely noticed this girl. I was too busy having fun, dancing, laughing, talking to people ... being a happy little bride. I was ecstatic to be at my wedding reception and to be DH's wife, surrounded by so many people I loved. Aside from table visits, I don't think I spent more than 5 seconds with her that day. And I was having so much fun and so busy enjoying myself that I'm pretty sure that had this girl stripped naked and drove a bulldozer through the reception, I probably wouldn't have noticed.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]
People like that, at worst, end up being wedding entertainment and a funny story down the road.

CA2MT4EveR · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:92fbbc17-e34d-4c47-9256-891bc39787c5Post:286e0459-e5b0-48ce-b60f-c067eb0c7524">Re: WP +1</a>:
[QUOTE]I hoped and prayed that our GM would break up with his GF before out wedding. We called her <strong>psychohosebeast</strong> in college and she was BEYOND rude to me: -She unscrewed my peep hole to see what I was doing in my room. -She talked to DH about things my ex-BF said regarding my "bedroom behavior" -When she moved, she told DH to leave me home if he was going to help. BUT, when she started dating that GM, despite DH and I rolling our eyes and thinking, "Good GOD man! What are you thinking?!?" we invited him to bring her. And it worked out fine. I requested that my BMs just be on the lookout in case she did anything crazy but there were no issues. Most people know that when you make a scene to a bride on her wedding day, you come off looking like a psychohosebeast.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

THAT is the most hilarious name I have ever heard!

mboja1fv · April 2010

Make the + 1 sit with some crazy relatives

WP +1

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