Just A Thought

Lenore2010 · August 2010

I know a lot of the people on SB have actually met in real life, so this does not apply to them but I have had a thought on something.

You know these fellow poster that we linke/love./hate/have all kinds of opinions about their personalities and imaginings of who they really are? Well, I am going to say that for the most part, we really do not have enough information on anyone to support our conclusions.

I try to see the good in everyone who posts, ans the people I do not like or who annoy me I just try to remember that they might be people I would just love IRL. Some people just come off weird on boards, sometimes one thing they say or one "event" just sets up a bad impression in your head.

I have had a lot of cause to think about this stuff over the years because I helped run a 500 member special interest group on Yahoo. Many times, I met people IRL that I thought were buttheads online and liked them a lot. Occasionally, I would meet someone I thought I loved and end up thinking "what a bitch" within the hour.

I guess my thought is: reserve judgement. Sure they might bug you online sometimes but that does not mean you are dealing with an a-hole.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

Just out of curiosity, what prompted you to make this post? I think that, as a board, SB is not really all that judgmental. Maybe I'm missing something?

SarahPLiz · August 2010

I think you have a point. To me, this means that we need an international SB GTG lovefest.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I haven't met anyone from TK or talked to them anywhere outside of the boards (no one wants to be my FB friend? I so sad *tear*). But for the most part I like just about everyone, except for a few bitchy people who are rude all the time. I can't imagine them being pleasant in real life.

I agree that it's hard to judge someone from a few posts, but at the same time, sometimes you can tell who a person is by what they say. It depends on the situation.

Nebb · August 2010

I am perfectly comfortable judging strangers for things they say or do. Whether I might like them under different circumstances doesnt matter to me if they are doing something stupid currently.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I'll be your FB friend, Seshat.

Lenore2010 · August 2010

No, it is not about SB being judgemental at all. Just that I have in my years of being online seen a lot of the "Wow, I can't stand that Blue2bebectrifectaMocha" based on some online argument someone had months ago, and I get to thinking, really? Based on that? You know this person HOW well and you are setting up shop as an online adversary? Happens on SB, happens everywhere in online communities. I do it myself sometimes. I just try to avoid it is all.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

Yay a friend! How do we go about this exchange?

I must warn you, I'm a boring Facebook-er outside of a few goofy pictures.

As of now, I have to go to a meeting. Back soon.

Nebb · August 2010

Lenore you also have to recognize, quite a few of us have been on here for a while. Ive been here for over 2 years and Ive seen the same people posting nearly every day within my time here. You get to know them. You have no idea how well anyone else can know another poster.

betrothed123 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:ca0891a2-3db8-47eb-9650-708448207e9d">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]I am perfectly comfortable judging strangers for things they say or do. Whether I might like them under different circumstances doesnt matter to me if they are doing something stupid currently.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
Nods emphatically.

future-mrs · August 2010

SB is FAR less judgy than another...other board *clears throat E cough*...IMO. It's kind of hard NOT to judge, all we have to go by is a post. And some of these posts really have me going WTF?

ohwhynot · August 2010

I agree with Nebb on this. But I think this board as a whole tends to let stuff go. I don't see a lot of grudges on this board or automatic dismissal of someone's post based on past experience (unless the past experience is overwhelmingly bad).

Lenore2010 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:c1259178-3ff6-4de4-888d-f6b28c69ca83">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]Lenore you also have to recognize, quite a few of us have been on here for a while. Ive been here for over 2 years and Ive seen the same people posting nearly every day within my time here. You get to know them. You have no idea how well anyone else can know another poster.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Oh, I do get that. I have seen people post on other boards for years myself. My small point was that sometimes I think on any board there is a rush to judgement, and also years or not online personas can be so different from real life ones. I have been at various online things for the better part of 14 years, and it is just my observation anout message board life not a judgement of SB, or of any poster here.

quotequeen · August 2010

If I'm not planning on meeting these people in person, then whether I would like them in person is pretty much irrelevant to me. I only care whether I like them online, which I am perfectly capable of judging.

SarahPLiz · August 2010

Seshat. YGPM

MarriedInAFever · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:ca0891a2-3db8-47eb-9650-708448207e9d">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]I am perfectly comfortable judging strangers for things they say or do. Whether I might like them under different circumstances doesnt matter to me if they are doing something stupid currently.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I actually agree with this. This doesn't just apply to a message board. If someone acts rudely in public or says something really asinine, I'm going to think they're an idiot too.

JenGin74 · August 2010

I try to give everyone a fair shake, second chance etc. Unless the person is just a complete douche all the time.

Lenore2010 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:97500441-23dc-4f38-af5d-73e697344361">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]I try to give everyone a fair shake, second chance etc. Unless the person is just a complete douche all the time.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

Which in the end was really my point, Jen and that is what usually happens here at SB too. Some people are so nasty and or stupid online or off they just don;t get a second chance with me, but that is rare.

Nebb · August 2010

I should also add I dont enjoy being told what I should and should not do on the internet. If you feel that way fine, but dont tell me that I should do the same. Imposed E lessons sucks.

beatlesgirl25 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:0648b7f8-4522-4978-9833-e20290a4e92b">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]I should also add I dont enjoy being told what I should and should not do on the internet. If you feel that way fine, but dont tell me that I should do the same. Imposed E lessons sucks.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

You shouldn't feel that way Nebb.

Lenore2010 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:0648b7f8-4522-4978-9833-e20290a4e92b">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]I should also add I dont enjoy being told what I should and should not do on the internet. If you feel that way fine, but dont tell me that I should do the same. Imposed E lessons sucks.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

It is not an "e-lesson", Nebb, it's an "e-opinion". You are an adult. No one can tell you what to do online. Messgae boards are full of opinions. Take them for what they are worth and forget the rest.

Nebb · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:e6a774fc-db8b-4d45-a4aa-d839d864d1a5">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just A Thought : You shouldn't feel that way Nebb.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

*shakes fist*

[Deleted User] · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:e0d8ae40-fc5a-498e-b769-ea3cf4377f22">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]Seshat. YGPM
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

Thanks! I can't get on to FB from work, they have it blocked, so I'll try tonight. Also I didn't want to send a reply PM from work because sometimes doing so causes all my windows to randomly close, so if it doesn't work then I'll PM you later.

beatlesgirl25 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:95b434a4-5b8f-4b03-bf49-6754393b2ddc">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just A Thought : It is not an "e-lesson", Nebb, it's an "e-opinion". You are an adult. No one can tell you what to do online. Messgae boards are full of opinions. <strong>Take them for what they are worth and forget the rest.</strong>
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

Not to pick this apart, because I like you Lenore, but this kinda sounds like another life lesson on how to use this board. Don't we usually chide people who tell us to only respond to their OP if we have something nice to say, or not to respond at all? You may be posting your thoughts and ponderings, but you are also sending a message that this is the "right" way, and I find myself wondering what has happened here recently to warrant this talking-to. Maybe it's just how I read it.

betrothed123 · August 2010

All I know is that if a newb posted this OP they would have been flamed from here to hell and back again.

eastunder1 · August 2010

Take out "Nebb": and insert "Eastunder" and thats what I have to say about this thread too. I think OP meant well but just...gah.

Nebb · August 2010

You sound preachy. I have plenty of opinions but I dont write novels on here about them. The way you have worded everything youve written here sounds like you think your way is better and you are preaching your behavior as a lesson to others to follow. You arent saying "do what I say" in so many words, but thats how what youve written reads.

missy68 · August 2010

Agreed. I'm just not as eloquent.

jasmineh7777 · August 2010

I also try to see the best in people Lenore.
I think that some of the "history" here gives people reason to stay away from certain posters. There have been very personal attacks before, (not on this board) and if someone went after me like that, I would certainly step away from communication with them.

That being said, there are people on tk that I would rather not talk to. The way they present themselves on here is not positive. What I think (hope?) is that the online persona for these people is different than who they are irl. I am sure there are redeeming qualities that I am not privy to. So, I give those people respect and limit our interaction.Besides, it would only reflect poorly on me if I behaved as they did.

eastunder1 · August 2010

I feel like Lenore watched some special on helping people or something last night on Tv and just really wants to be inspiration to someone about something, and this was the first opportunity that came across her desk. But we're good on how to use the internet, I think. We got it.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-thought-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:ffcb09d1-ef44-4d98-bcef-8a90d91ee3e1Post:697994dc-606e-4030-80a4-ae8589f7ecc4">Re: Just A Thought</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay a friend! How do we go about this exchange? I must warn you, I'm a boring Facebook-er outside of a few goofy pictures. As of now, I have to go to a meeting. Back soon.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty boring myself. :) I can't get the pm function to work from work, so if you send me one with your name or email, I'll find you tonight. :)

Just A Thought

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