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No wedding invite for father...

savannahrlsavannahrl
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
I will try to make this as brief as possible... My biological father has been divorced from my mom for 23 years (I am 25).  My stepdad raised me from 3.  My stepdad is walking me down the aisle, daughter/dad dance and paying for half the wedding.
My father has never met FI and we've been dating for 7 years.  The last time I saw him was 5 years ago, and only bc I found out his new address and went to see him.  No bday or christmas calls in years, nothing.  I don't even have his new phone number.  His mother, sisters, and a few cousins are coming bc they're in my life.
I do not want to invite him.  My mom thinks this is rude.  I think ignoring me for 23 years is rude.  What to do?
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Re: No wedding invite for father...

  • LarissaAnnLarissaAnn member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You're right on this one.
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  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It seems that you have not forgiven him, and I certainly don't blame you.  Just ask yourself this.  Will him being there on your wedding day be upsetting to you? If so then I don't think you should invite him either.  I can't say what I would do in your situation because it is a tough one and I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you.  Go with your gut, its usually right.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't see the point in inviting someone you don't have a relationship with, regardless of the fact that he is your biological father.  Genes aren't everything.

    He hasn't shown any interest in being in your life so far so I can't imagine he would be surprised or hurt by the non-invite.
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  • lizstill13lizstill13 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    You are right, your mom is wrong. Why include someone who didn't want to be included in your life?

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  • shaydeniseshaydenise
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-invite-father?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:06a15b3a-a63d-47fe-9b18-1bae008210bbPost:104eddc8-ecb7-49b4-95c9-0d223e560480">No wedding invite for father...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think ignoring me for 23 years is rude.
    Posted by savannahrl[/QUOTE]

    You couldn't have put this in better terms.  I wouldn't invite him.
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  • kikicurlytopkikicurlytop
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ignoring you for 23 years isn't just rude. It's horrific. Don't invite him. He sounds like an a** IMHO.
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  • Trae021Trae021
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You have no reason to invite him.  It would only be rude not to invite him if you two stayed close all of these years.  Don't worry about what anyone else says.
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  • aspe85aspe85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was just scanning the boards and came across this one.. savanna is was like I was reading a story about MYSELF!! My biological father has not been in my life since I was 5. My step father has had a big part in raising the woman I am today, etc etc. You literally took the words right out of my mouth!! My biological father has never met my fiance either and we've also been together for 7 years! Strange..

    Anyways, the one thing that differs is that my mom is HAPPY that I'm not inviting my dad and obviously he is not walking me down the aisle. If he couldn't care less about me for 20 years of my life, why should one more day make a difference???

    I totally agree with you on this one, and remember that it is YOUR day, not your moms!! All the power to ya!! Cool
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  • nebbiolonebbiolo
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree - don't invite him. I don't understand why weddings are the only event that make folks feel obligated to invite people they don't even have a relationship with. It doesnt make any sense.
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