People who assume they're invited...

jferlenda · May 2011

So I'm sure we've ALL had this happen. I just had my first experience...yayy

My aunt's mother had apparently decided that she was invited to the wedding. I don't really know her that well at all (this aunt married my mom's brother about 10 years ago). I've seen her about every other year or so since then for my little cousin's birthday parties or other family get-togethers. Anyway, my aunt TEXTED my mom today to ask her if her mother would be invited and says that she had been assuming she would be. Seriously, just pick up the phone. It's not that hard.

Anyway, my situation is just annoying, but I'm sure some of you have some some crazayy drama over this kind of stuff and I'm bored, so tell me about yours.

stacie+luciano · May 2011

The only people who have asked about it is a coworker or two. I told them I wasn't too sure who I was officially inviting, and they haven't asked since.

tayylor65 · May 2011

I haven't really had any problem except for totally single ppl expecting that they're being invited with a +1 (specifically +1's I've never met before). I haven't tackled that issue yet though, I figure I'll wait to see how they actually RSVP when invites go out.

Edit: Actually a lot of FIL's friends who aren't invited have asked FMIL/FFIL about it but they're handling it well themselves. FFIL was joking about it the other day though lol.

spalko · May 2011

FI and I met while working at Home Depot and I've always had issues with coworkers thinking our relationship is their business since we all work together. Its been frustrating over the year and a half that we've been together to deal with people telling me about how my relationship is going and all that. Well... To answer your question, I've had many people make comments along the lines of, 'looks like we have a wedding to go to next year' and stuff like that but we only plan on inviting maybe four people from the whole company. Obviously, we can't invite everyone but I think a lot of people are going to be disappointed when they don't get an invite. I've considered asking those that are invited not to mention anything while at work just to avoid the issues of those that aren't going to be invited. I'm sure its going to end up being a nightmare but I'm slowly learning that it's ok not to make everyone else happy.

HYDROPHILE · May 2011

Eh - we've run into the same problem. A woman who works in our front office (that I talk to daily) made the assumption she would be invited to our wedding and went as far as to go ahead and reserve a room at a local B&B for the weekend (at $250/night!) Yes, we invited her, but we invited everyone else in the office, too (mistake.)

My fiancé's extended family isn't close. They only get together when free stuff is involved (so-and-so is having a wedding? HOT DOG! We get free food!) Of course my future MIL tells us over Easter that she told Aunt X we were getting married (we have been engaged since Dec 2009 if that tells you anything.) Aunt X said, "oh I'd love to see Mr. Hydrophile get married!" Then my future MIL tried to guilt trip us into inviting her, but it wouldn't just be Aunt X....it'd be Aunt X's daughter and boyfriend, Aunt X's son and wife, Aunt X's sister (another aunt) and her husband................an additional 30 people ($1530 more than what we plan on spending.)

Therefore, Aunt X and her clan are not invited, and my fiancé was okay with that from the get go (considering Aunt X's son didn't bother to invite my fiancé or any of his family to his wedding, and no one is close.)

asmaruszewski · May 2011

I had an OLD friend - someone I no longer talk to/hadn't seen in over 5 years- tell me she'll send me her new address so I can send her the invitation to my wedding. My jaw hit the ground that she could assume this. I wanted to say, but bit my tongue, we haven't talked in over 5 years, there is a reason we AREN'T friends, WHY on Gods green earth would you think you're invited?!?! Needless to say, I just smiled and said 'mmhmm' and just ignored the situation and she hasn't emailed/questioned it since.

mgem8 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_people-assume-theyre-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4bcbe043-55da-4e44-80b6-c4dff027f06bPost:c1bd790f-ff61-415c-80cc-f990c8c29e6f">Re: People who assume they're invited...</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I met while working at Home Depot
Posted by spalko[/QUOTE]

Spalko - FI and I met while working at Depot too!

Sorry to thread jack, just saw your post and it made me smile.

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

I just ignore them. I go Mmm-Hmmm and change the subject. But, yes, it's annoying.

Hellokatie0517 · May 2011

Oh joy, my favorite topic! The only people who have made comments about who's invited were FILs and their friends. FMIL told her friend to "keep an eye out in the mail for an invitation" before we made the final guest list. I was shocked by this since I had only met this friend once and we tried to make it very clear to FILs that we were paying for most of the wedding. I found it very thoughtless of FMIL to do that since we asked them for "must have" people on the list and they never mentioned that friend! On New Year's, there were two couples (both are friends of FILs) who said things like "don't forget about us when you send out the invitations" and "we'll buy you a shot at the wedding". I was surprised that people assume that they're invited to weddings. I just brushed off their comments with awkward giggles and the good old "well, we haven't finalized the guest list yet and we're keeping it small. Gotta stick to the budget!" In the end, we invited them all because I stopped fighting over the guest list. I wanted small and intimate and FI wanted a free-for-all. Oh, and the whole "buy you a shot" comment was all the more comical since we're having an open bar. Guess we'll be the ones buying them a shot! Yayyyy!

LoveMuffins · May 2011

This chick that I had met last Feb and hung out with ONCE since (she came to a large day-trip to the beach in August... I felt bad for her cuz she had just moved here in Feb and hadn't made any real friends), commented on my "engaged" relationship Status on Facebook in October saying, "Oh my god, I can't wait to come to your wedding!"

..... sorry, what?!

I nipped that in the bud right away and wrote right underneath that, "We're not sure who we're going to be able to invite yet, but probably not everyone that we'd like to, due to budget constraints". She very sweetly said that she understood and still wanted to get me a present but... dude... AWKWARD.

Hellokatie0517 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_people-assume-theyre-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4bcbe043-55da-4e44-80b6-c4dff027f06bPost:7839917b-fac1-46f8-aa9e-e1565e011377">Re: People who assume they're invited...</a>:
[QUOTE]This chick that I had met last Feb and hung out with ONCE since (she came to a large day-trip to the beach in August... I felt bad for her cuz she had just moved here in Feb and hadn't made any real friends), commented on my "engaged" relationship Status on Facebook in October saying, "Oh my god, I can't wait to come to your wedding!" ..... sorry, what?! I nipped that in the bud right away and wrote right underneath that, "We're not sure who we're going to be able to invite yet, but <strong>probably not everyone that we'd like to</strong>, due to budget constraints". She very sweetly said that she understood and still wanted to get me a present but... dude... AWKWARD.
Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

Good line! I'll have to keep if we get "hey, we never got an invitation" from people. Oh I'm sorry, we just weren't able to invite everyone we had liked to because of our budget.

LoveMuffins · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_people-assume-theyre-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:4bcbe043-55da-4e44-80b6-c4dff027f06bPost:51f33b33-41ab-41d4-be74-d6c580ea67cb">Re: People who assume they're invited...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People who assume they're invited... : Good line! I'll have to keep if we get "hey, we never got an invitation" from people. Oh I'm sorry, we just weren't able to invite everyone we had liked to because of our budget.
Posted by Hellokatie0517[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I mean, people totally are fine with hearing 'we'd like to have you there but can't'. it makes them feel better to hear the implication that if it were possible, they'd be invited =P

em01092 · May 2011

This girl in one of my classes asked me twice. TWICE.

We were somewhat close in high school (I transfered in halfway through my junior year), but she betrayed my trust and we didn't speak for a while. Then we patched things up and were cordial by my graduation.

Then, she winds up at my college a year after me. We ran into each other maybe three or four times and said hey. Never hung out.

We finally had a class together this semester and she sat by me. When I saw her the first day of class, she asked me about the ring, the wedding, and if she was invited. I told her it was close friends and family only, and she made a pouty face but laughed and we changed the subject. Never discussed wedding stuff with her again. Then, last week (right before finals), she asked again, and I reminded her about our guest list. This time, she acted all pissy and got an attitude, didn't say a word to me the rest of class and stormed out without saying bye. Um, ok.

sessionswedding · May 2011

I don't get it. Weddings are supposed to be boring, stuffy, and expensive for guests. I don't like going to weddings, myself. In fact, I got invited to a wedding of one of FI's relatives this weekend and declined! Lol. So I really don't understand why people WANT to be at your wedding.

ETA: I mean that I don't understand why people you hardly know want to be at your wedding. Obviously I get why close family and friends would want to be there.

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