Airing of Grievances

danieliza1127 · December 2009

It's Festivus, so tell us the way someone has disappointed you this year.

For me, I'm disappointed at my friend for the way she reacted about NYE. I posted about it last week. They made plans, then decided to invite us along, we politely declined, and then she came to MY house on Saturday all put out and totally ignoring me and obviously not wanting to be there. I'm really surprised and annoyed that she's acting this way and starting to realize why she has no friends of her own outside of her husband and her family.

betrothed123 · December 2009

I'm disappointed in my boss for getting on a plan this afternoon to go on a week long vacation, at our busiest time of the year, and leaving me here alone to manage things I haven't been trained on (like um... payroll. Yeah, if I screw that one up people will not be happy with me).

kikibaby · December 2009

I updated my signature in honor of this ocassion.

Ok, I am disappointed in some women I was very close friends with. We used to spend tons of time together, like several days a week. Suddenly, they kind of disappeared. I was hurt, took them off of FB and everything. Out of nowhere, they all start contacting me again. I think they just decided they wanted to be nosy about what was going on in my life, because now that they're caught up- poof, disappeared again. I feel used.

bbyckes · December 2009

I was disappointed in my sister earlier this year for making my mom feel like she was a burden.

When my mom came to visit me for the first time in September, she told me how happy she was that someone "wanted" her. It broke my heart. I was so upset with my sister. She knows that my mom is struggling with health issues and I don't know why she has to make the situation worse.

I am more than excited about my mom coming to live with us in February. I won't have to worry about her as much.

salt78 · December 2009

I'm a little disappointed in my brother because he's growing into an angsty, obnoxious teenager when he used to be a total sweetheart.

laboheme68 · December 2009

I had to figure out how to set the outgoing voicemail on our phones today, since the girl who used to do it was laid off awhile back. No one told me how to do any of this, so I had to go digging through the phone manuals. These phones are a million years old and aren't made anymore. The thing is like an instruction manual to build a goddamned rocketship, nothing is organized in the index like it should be (think voicemail would be listed under voicemail? guess again). I scanned in a page that I thought was particularly amusing.

As for the year? I wish I made more progress professionally. My job has slowly morphed into something that I wasn't originally hired to do, which is frustrating.

kikibaby · December 2009

I am also disappointed with our HR Department. I applied for another position for which I am more than qualified. I have to take a test, though, and they are only offering it one day, one time. A day I will be out of town, with no way I can reschedule it.

sarahmk5 · December 2009

I'm disappointed in my one friend/BM. I roomed with her for the past 2 yrs, but now that we no longer live together, we never see each other. And it's not just me - I live with two other close, mutual friends, and none of us really see her. It's sad, because I know after we graduate, and then my wedding, she'll drop off the face of the earth, no matter how much we all try to keep in contact with her.

brookelynpaisley · December 2009

I'm upset with my sister for being a goddamn holiday diva, needing everything to be her way. Last night, there was a 20 car pile up on the highway between Phoenix and Tucson. She still expected that I should sit there on a closed freeway at 11:00 at night to get her home, or take an alternate route that would have added an extra hour (assuming no traffic) to the trip. She's lucky it was cleared up, because I wasn't going to do it. This is the latest in a string of diva-like acts since Thanksgiving.

I'm peeved at my husband's company. For the last 5 years, he's had a small amount withheld from each paycheck and then he gets it 2 weeks before Christmas. There's never been a problem. This year, he still doesn't have his money, and they've finally admitted they don't have it. We're not sure what to do - he's the only non-family member at a family owned business, so if he raises a stink about it, they could just tell him to get lost.

I think that's all for now.

ac_in_dc · December 2009

2 of my college friends introduced me to N, who introduced me to DH. He and N have been friends for many years, so she's very important to our relationship.

Now my college friends have decided to "break up" with N, they're not inviting her to any of the parties and events we used to all attend together. And it's mostly because of some drama that happened (without my knowledge) around my B-party weekend.

Very disappointing.

georgia_bride09 · December 2009

I'm disappointed in my best friend. When we had our housewarming in November, she actually called me an hour before it was supposed to start to tell me that she didn't want to upset her four-month-old's sleeping schedule so she couldn't make it. Okay, you live four hours away, yet you waited until one hour until the party, knowing I'd be busy prepping stuff. And you had a month to make plans for your baby because I told you about the party early just for that reason. It wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't been the only one maintaining the friendship for the past three years. I've driven the four hours to see her about twenty times, compared to her one time in the last three years. She's always been a bit flaky, but now she's using her baby as a freaking excuse.

betrothed123 · December 2009

Oh, I can give one for the overall year, too.

I'm disappointed in a group of my friends. We were the type of group who were always there for each other. When one of us went through a rough time we would all pitch in for a GC, or flowers, or something even more sentimental. I've done this time and again for these people. I went through my first major rough patch during our friendship late last year and I didn't get so much as a freaking phone call from any of them. When my grandfather died earlier this year, nothing. However, they did not hesitate to ask me to pitch in for a gift because one of them lost a pet. A freaking pet? I lost my freaking Grandfather! So I stopped trying to contact any of them, and told the 4 people I was closest to that I wasn't going to make an effort for the group anymore, but I was still interested in their friendship. They all said they understood and assured me they would remain in contact with me. They did for about 3 days when they all went off on me and stopped talking to me.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:b2befbf8-5939-498d-bdac-75ba70c7bffa">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm peeved at my husband's company. For the last 5 years, he's had a small amount withheld from each paycheck and then he gets it 2 weeks before Christmas. There's never been a problem. This year, he still doesn't have his money, and they've finally admitted they don't have it. We're not sure what to do - he's the only non-family member at a family owned business, so if he raises a stink about it, they could just tell him to get lost. I think that's all for now.
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

Um, dude, that's illegal. So basically they were taking his money as an interest free loan and now it's time to give it back to him and they've spent it so they can't? That's awful. I hope if he doesn't get the money in a reasonable time he considers doing something about it. He would have every right to.

rhodesign · December 2009

I'm very, super, extremely disappointed in my friend's wife. She's an ex-friend of mine (we're cordial because she married another good friend of mine) and is BSC. Well she really showed her BSC colors by leaving him, taking their 1.5 year old son, and is filing for divorce claiming that he's been abusing her and the kid. The accusations are extreme and totally not true, and she has nothing to back her claims (ex. she says he choked the baby, yet never took him to a hospital or doctor or anything, and nobody has ever seen bruises on her or the kid). It's insane and disappointing is putting it lightly.

impslave · December 2009

I guess my big beef for this year is the falling out my mom and I had with my younger brother and his wife. We ended up on opposite sides regarding my aunt (mom's sister) getting a divorce from her abusive husband. Mom and I supported my aunt, brother and wife took in drunk soon-to-be ex-husband and judged my aunt for leaving him.

I've never been close to this brother anyway, but it breaks my heart that he and his wife have cut off their kids from my mom.

*sigh*

babbles270 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:b2befbf8-5939-498d-bdac-75ba70c7bffa">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]II'm peeved at my husband's company. For the last 5 years, he's had a small amount withheld from each paycheck and then he gets it 2 weeks before Christmas. There's never been a problem. This year, he still doesn't have his money, and they've finally admitted they don't have it. We're not sure what to do - he's the only non-family member at a family owned business, so if he raises a stink about it, they could just tell him to get lost. I think that's all for now.
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

Please tell me he's looking for another job, because that company is going under, and FAST.

bbyckes · December 2009

I was disappointed this year that my two best friends have experienced major life events, weddings and a birth of a baby, and I wasn't able to have been there for them. There wasn't a whole lot I could do, but I really wanted to be there in person to show my love and support and I couldn't.

brookelynpaisley · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:08e2fc70-e2a9-44f1-972e-a3051871a583">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Airing of Grievances : Um, dude, that's illegal. So basically they were taking his money as an interest free loan and now it's time to give it back to him and they've spent it so they can't? That's awful. I hope if he doesn't get the money in a reasonable time he considers doing something about it. He would have every right to.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I'm not sure what to do about it. And obviously since he's out of the family, he's concerned for his job if he takes action. If anyone knows of someone to contact (like what agency or whatever) I'd appreciate it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

My job. They've always been pretty good with little things - decent benefits, vacation, company parties, and little extras. It's becoming hard to feel appreciated when half the company is laid off, I'm doing the job of 2 people, parties are taken away, most paid holidays are taken away, and my vacation has been slashed. Three and a half years of loyalty (through some REALLY rough times here), and I feel like a newb with the "benefits" I have this coming year.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:b7a93a65-c7a1-4162-9137-c41b5ed180e8">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Airing of Grievances : Agreed. I'm not sure what to do about it. And obviously since he's out of the family, he's concerned for his job if he takes action. If anyone knows of someone to contact (like what agency or whatever) I'd appreciate it.
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

Gosh, what a sucky situation. I would suggest he first give them a deadline to get the money to him, in writing with some sort of proof that they received it. Then if that dates passes and he doesn't get the money, I would either talk to a lawyer or even the police department. I know the police sounds extreme, but what they're doing is theft or even fraud. I doubt they would fire him though because they know they're in the wrong here. I would hope they're scrambling to come up with the money. At any rate, I agree with pp who said it sounds like this company is in bad shape financially and he might want to start looking for a new job before they just close their doors with no warning.

Bubbalub · December 2009

I'm disappointed in my managers/company. I've worked really hard this year to get promoted (which is actually long overdue, by a couple years) and they could not care less. It makes me less motivated to work, which makes them frustrated with me but, hello, being stuck at Jr. Artist for four freaking years sucks balls. And every year during reviews I ask them their plans for moving me up and they respond that they hadn't really thought about it but will get back to me about it. They never do. They have clearly written me off for some reason and are focusing their attention on their new hires instead. I'm sick of it and mad at myself for allowing myself to get in this position in the first place. I know lots of people would be happy to have a job in video games but it just isn't quite what I want to be doing and my managers are not making it worth my effort anymore.

I'm also disappointed in myself. I graduated with my second degree a year ago and have not done anything with it. Sure, the economy sucks and jobs are not plentiful in this area in my field but when the occasional one would pop up I would realize that my portfolio isn't quite polished and put off applying for it until it was too late. My goal for the Christmas vacation week is to finish polishing my portfolio and apply for the one job that I saw come up last week. Chances aren't good that I'll get it but at least I will have tried.

amalama · December 2009

I am disappointed in both of my sisters and how they take advantage of my parents. WIth one, it's definitely not a new thing, but it still bugs me. And the other left her husband this year, and my parents have been helping her out financially since then (she has two kids, he sucks at child support, and pretty much at life). But I've seen in slowly go from her asking them for help when she's desperate, to asking for help when she doesn't have money to go out with her friends. I feel bad for her and her situation, but the way she's handling it is not going to help her get out of it at all.

I am also dissappointed in my relationship with both of my sisters. We used to be really close, but I feel like we've really grown apart. Both of them decided to come to the Christmas party I had (the girl's night that my sis wanted to bring her husband too), and told me good reasons (one didn't want to leave her one month old, one said she was sick). But they both went to a different party (with their new (crappy) friends) that same night. Did they not think I would see the pictures they put all over facebook?

cmhershey · December 2009

I'm a little disappointed in my friend. She's the nicest, kindest person with the biggest heart. But sometimes she get taken advantage of. I just wish she'd stand up for herself sometimes.

AmoroAgain · December 2009

I'm ready to go back to work, and hope and pray that we can find something for me soon.

I'm tired of not spending Christmas with my family. It's been 7 years now.

banana468 · December 2009

I think he'd need to contact the attorney general but other lawyers here may have other ideas.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:325734b1-e544-4c4e-a1e5-0d5353845e99">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]Both of them decided to come to the Christmas party I had (the girl's night that my sis wanted to bring her husband too), and told me good reasons (one didn't want to leave her one month old, one said she was sick). But they both went to a different party (with their new (crappy) friends) that same night. Did they not think I would see the pictures they put all over facebook?
Posted by amalama[/QUOTE]

Oh my god, that sucks. I would have totally called them out on that. I hope you did. If you didn't, you should. That's just mean.

brookelynpaisley · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:5dd95f81-0be5-4cf6-bed1-66351cd55aa6">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Airing of Grievances : Please tell me he's looking for another job, because that company is going under, and FAST.
Posted by babbles270[/QUOTE]

He's applied to all the city departments in our area, but at the moment there's nothing. It's been a crap year for the company but they're actually had more business over the last couple of months.

Bubbalub · December 2009

What in the wha? I have no idea how I managed to double-post. Sigh.

amalama · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:a13eb51f-cb42-4372-ab3c-86121481904e">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Airing of Grievances : Oh my god, that sucks. I would have totally called them out on that. I hope you did. If you didn't, you should. That's just mean.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Yeah I haven't spoken to either of them since. I'll see them on Christmas, but probably won't talk to them until then. So I really don't know what I will do.

I'm just really frustrated with both of them. They have been being sorta bitchy to me for a while. They have a tendency to make snide comments to me about my rich (he's not) BF, and us throwing our money around. Seriously, we have a 2 year old and only he works, as a restaurant manager. I am in school, which we also pay for. Being able to pay our own bills without mommy and daddy doesn't mean we are rolling in it. And the "throwing money around" they are refering to is us paying for things for them or my parents when we go out to eat, or when we go in on gifts.

Ugh sorry that turned into a big rant, but it sucks that I feel like they hate me because we are doing better than them right now.

AmoroAgain · December 2009

Oh, I feel like I should add for posterity: I hate Italy less than I did before!

lol

amalama · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_airing-of-greivances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a0751d-eb55-455a-83fd-7ad1498e2170Post:22520d78-244f-4e42-8964-e680249637fe">Re: Airing of Grievances</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm tired of not spending Christmas with my family. It's been 7 years now.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

7 years? You haven't been in Italy that long right? That really, really sucks. Even with my crappy sisters I would miss spending Christmas with them.

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