Do you...

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

judge your friends for their number?

I was talking to an acquaintance the other day who revealed a good friend of mine (who is also this person's good friend) was in the 20s.

I was of the school of soooo? She is a single girl in her late 20s. I get it, I know she is safe and not crazy.

This is probably context specific.

sarah0725 · May 2010

I don't know the number for a lot of my friends. But I wouldn't judge them for it. Mine would probably be higher if it weren't for the fact that most of my adult single life has been tied up in long term relationships, and that I started dating FI when I was 21.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:da3b395b-6263-4e7e-adb7-a1352dd2aff7">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know the number for a lot of my friends. But I wouldn't judge them for it. Mine would probably be higher if it weren't for the fact that most of my adult single life has been tied up in long term relationships, and that I started dating FI when I was 21.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Yes!

Moneypenny424 · May 2010

I try not to judge...but the friends I have who are 60+ I'm always a little shocked by.

My number is fairly low, but I was in a 6 year relationship before Mr. Penny, so that cut it down by a lot.

miss.jawright · May 2010

No I don't. It's not the number but how you got it. I don't know if anyone is familiar with the book "the ethical slut" but it's awesome. It's all about treating people and yourself with repsect and setting your own boundaries. I have been judged for my number and I don't think it's even that high (early teens). A number is a number to me.

eastunder1 · May 2010

It would have to be exceedingly high for me to bat an eye. If you'e spent the better part of your 20's single as opposed to sleeping with the same person year after year its going to get up there a little, ya know?

KatyRoseM · May 2010

Not really, I judge how they got their number.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

Money- I might be shocked by the 60s too. Only because I don't know if I could conceive of that kind of opportunity.

miss.jawright · May 2010

Good topic M&M! This should be interesting.

Nebb · May 2010

I slept with a LOT of guys throughout college, and I have always been with more people than anyone else, so I dont think anything of their numbers.

HisCB · May 2010

i dont really know the numbers for my friends. although i heard that one guy friend was on the higher side, and i couldnt beleive it.
i wouldnt judge, because i think my number is higher than most of my friends, then again most of my friends have been married for a while and were married soon out of high school...

mwhitson14 · May 2010

I mean, I'm not gonna lie, high numbers make me give the side-eye. regardless of the circumstances.

But that's because I was raised a strict Southern Baptist, where sex before marriage is a sin. My only partner is DH, and same for him. So we tend to be more judgey, haha.

sarah0725 · May 2010

I wonder if you took a 30-year old serial monogamist and a 30-year old person who had been single most of the time, and compared the total number of times, whether it would be similar. It might actually be higher for the monogamist, I'd imagine.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:5bb0dbc1-bb7f-46d5-8aac-bb4cdd1c627d">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]Not really, I judge how they got their number.
Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

Agreed to an extent. I know people who judge their self worth by their number and that is unhealthy to me. I know a lot of girls who are single, haven't met the guy, and honestly like to fuuck. That seems pretty normal to me.

eastunder1 · May 2010

Does anyone remember the sex and the city episode where Miranda got the STD and made her list to try to figure out where it came from and it was THREE LEGAL PAD PAGES? If you're into those kind of numbers, I'm probably going to side eye you a little. But 10, 20, 30? Nah. Lifes different for everyone.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:dd4cc79c-b539-42b3-ac4b-057c80545928">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone remember the sex and the city episode where Miranda got the STD and made her list to try to figure out where it came from and it was THREE LEGAL PAD PAGES? If you're into those kind of numbers, I'm probably going to side eye you a little. But 10, 20, 30? Nah. Lifes different for everyone.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

Yup. And at that point I am even wondering how you could keep it all straight!

kimheartsscott · May 2010

I try not to, but sometimes my knee-jerk reaction is to judge if it is really high. I know some people who judge my 1 as well.

Moneypenny424 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:6a5fbbeb-d785-4a53-b280-20237389668c">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you... : Agreed to an extent. I know people who judge their self worth by their number and that is unhealthy to me. I know a lot of girls who are single, haven't met the guy, and honestly like to fuuck. That seems pretty normal to me.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I agree, this is a lot of my single friends. I don't really think anything of it at all--as long as they are being safe, I'm cool with it and don't judge. If they were drinking way too much, blacking out and not remembering the guys they were having sex with, I'd have a problem with that behavior, not the number.

Nebb · May 2010

Hmmpff... im not contributing anymore.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

btw- my friends and I got giggly one night a year ago and made funny lists of every guy we went to a 'base' with. Yeah, I could barely remember half and they recallled more than I did. Some how I judge myself more for that than half the sex my own friends have had.

berryholly · May 2010

I agree that I might judge "how" they got their number - if they are being stupid and irresponsible about it, I might be a little judgy. But a high number alone would not cause me to think less of anyone. I had my crazy college days, as did a lot of my friends.

jamiefour · May 2010

I don't really tend to judge but then again I don't know most of my friends numbers.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:0ac1d5c4-7714-4008-b2fe-084d89503a20">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmpff... im not contributing anymore.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Whyyy?

Nebb · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:7043145e-ad2b-48ee-88eb-e03b732617d6">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you... : Whyyy?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
Im not telling. Youre just all being judgemental and im taking it personally because ive been drinking.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:357f061c-8326-46c5-98f3-8452b51a08fb">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you... : Im not telling. Youre just all being judgemental and im taking it personally because ive been drinking.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Sad panda. I would like to hear more, but I understand.

stellabbella129 · May 2010

I've never told anyone my number so I can't stand when people tell me theirs and then expect me to reciprocate.

^ Edit: This was about people IRL wanting me to tell them my number! It sounds grumpier that I meant it to be, haha.

But no, I don't judge the number. I do judge those girls who are always pooositive their pregnant, like every other month, and they want me to freak out with them and try to figure out OMG who could the dad be? It's so annoying.

ac_in_dc · May 2010

I haven't discussed "numbers" with people for a long, long time. I know DH and I both have had some, um, promiscuous periods in our past and I think it's best to leave well enough alone and not do too much tallying. The running joke with us is that he was a virgin when we met.

As for my friends? Hmm, not sure I would ask b/c I don't know if it would accomplish anything positive. I can probably make an educated guess for my closest girlfriends, though.

Nebb · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7342876d-6602-422e-80be-2b3ef23a88dbPost:0b151191-d5a2-467e-8f8e-372bae026f8c">Re: Do you...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you... : Sad panda. I would like to hear more, but I understand.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]
Its not overly exciting but fwiw I was always safe and never got diseases so there!! :P

Moneypenny424 · May 2010

Sorry Nebb

.

Some of my closest friends are over 100 and some of the stories are crazy (sometime involving illegal activities) and I love them dearly. I'd still love you too Nebb!

Nebb · May 2010

Well I dont have any illegal activities under my belt, so theres that!

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

Nebb I would definitely never judge you. My number is not THAT high but some of the people I love most in this world have very high numbers. If anything, I would be concerned no one was getting hurt or being out of control... just for buddies in safety you know?

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